Familiar with The Eye of Argon? Enjoy Mystery Science Theater 3000? No? Well, shame on you then. Shame!

Anyway.

Via Zeitgeist, on which I would leave comment or email of thanks if such options were available, I give you… The Eye of Argon, MSTied!

It’s funnier than it has any right to be, if a titch uneven in execution. And I quote:

The orb that had been before taken for granted, yet now cherished above all else. To be forever refused further glimpses of the snow capped summits of the land of his birth, never again to witness the thrill of plundering unexplored lands beyond the crest of a bleeding horizon,

Mike: I–I feel his pain. [wipes away a tear]
Crow: I feel pain all right, but it’s not his.

and perhaps worst of all the denial to ever again encompass the lustful excitement of caressing the naked curves of the body of a trim yound wench.

Tom: This is the part of the story Bob Packwood can really relate to.

This was indeed one of the buried chasms of Hell concealed within the inner depths of the palace’s despised interior.

Mike: They keep Limbo in a closet up on the second floor.

A fearful ebony chamber devised to drive to the brinks of insanity the minds of the unfortunately condemned, through the inapt solitude of a limbo of listless dreary silence.

Crow: If you’re trying to drive them insane, why not just make them read THE EYE OF ARGON? It’d be a lot quicker.

Okay, yes, so I’m a weirdo to get such a kick out of this sort of thing. Your point being…?