Looking For Quacks In The Pavement

Ivan With The Head Of A Bear

How’s this for a bold, principled statement on a controversial topic:

“Jack Frost” is the best MST3K episode of all time.

Yes, better than its cousin, “The Day The Earth Froze.” Yes, better than “Manos, Hands of Fate,” largely because (let’s face it) “Manos” is just plain painful for most of its running time. Yes, better than “Gamera vs. Gaos.” Yes, better than “Prince Of Space.” Need I go on?

Let the evidence speak for itself, then.

  • “I thought Jerry Garcia was Father Mushroom.”
  • ‘No, not a princess. You are a queen!’ “In that you look like Freddy Mercury.”
  • “M is for the many times you beat me. O is for the other times you beat me…”
  • “Jack Frost opened fire on a stand of willows today…”
  • “I’m bacon! Baconbaconbaconbacon…”
  • “Bob Keeshan is Mr. Natural.”
  • “Michael Nelson is Lord of the Dance!”
  • “So I guess instead of vacuuming this house, you Zamboni it.”
  • “Hello, this is the sun. Your call is important to us, so please stay on the line…”

At any rate, until today I had to make do with an old VHS copy, but no longer. I now own this fine bit of televised hilarity in DVD form!

You may now bask in the glory of my awesomeness. Thank you.


  1. Wonderduck

    It’s good, but it’s no Werewolf, aka “Mike’s Manos.”

    “All right, everybody in this movie needs to go up a few shirt sizes.”

    “This is absolutely fascinating.”

    “Well maybe then it’s too late.” “Wow, the future conditional pluperfect subjunctive.”

    “Paul! You is a wurr-wilf!”

    …and of course, the classic song “Where Oh Where Is My Werewolf?”

    When Kevin Murphy hisownbadself calls it “a gift from God,” who am I to argue?

    • GreyDuck

      Hmm. Maybe I’ll give that one another viewing…

      • Wonderduck

        Momzerduck and I used to have a weekly viewing session of MST3K episodes, while Ph.Duck scurried away and hid (he never got it). I’m fairly certain she watched them only because I enjoyed it, but once in a while one would click with her.

        About 10 minutes into Werewolf she started laughing and couldn’t stop… everything was hitting the mark. We actually had to turn it off so she could catch her breath. Obviously, her favorite episode… and it’s on the short list for me as well.

  2. Spud

    Oooh… It’s right up there, but that special place in my heart is held by none other than The Mole People.

    “See, they’re going DOWN, DOWN into the hole, DOWN…”
    “Savor these moments when John Agar isn’t talking.”
    “TERROR ELVES!” “Oh you never would believe where those Keebler cookies come from.” “Santa will see you now.”
    “Load? Can you tell us about other times you were a major load?” “He died as he lived – a total load.” “Contents of load may have shifted during death.”

    • GreyDuck

      Oh, that’s another very fine option! Definitely one of the great classics.

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