How’s this for a bold, principled statement on a controversial topic:

“Jack Frost” is the best MST3K episode of all time.

Yes, better than its cousin, “The Day The Earth Froze.” Yes, better than “Manos, Hands of Fate,” largely because (let’s face it) “Manos” is just plain painful for most of its running time. Yes, better than “Gamera vs. Gaos.” Yes, better than “Prince Of Space.” Need I go on?

Let the evidence speak for itself, then.

  • “I thought Jerry Garcia was Father Mushroom.”
  • ‘No, not a princess. You are a queen!’ “In that you look like Freddy Mercury.”
  • “M is for the many times you beat me. O is for the other times you beat me…”
  • “Jack Frost opened fire on a stand of willows today…”
  • “I’m bacon! Baconbaconbaconbacon…”
  • “Bob Keeshan is Mr. Natural.”
  • “Michael Nelson is Lord of the Dance!”
  • “So I guess instead of vacuuming this house, you Zamboni it.”
  • “Hello, this is the sun. Your call is important to us, so please stay on the line…”

At any rate, until today I had to make do with an old VHS copy, but no longer. I now own this fine bit of televised hilarity in DVD form!

You may now bask in the glory of my awesomeness. Thank you.