Getting the oldest child ready for college entails all of the zany fun one would expect. This weekend, for instance, we’re planning an Ikea run so he can get an idea of what sort of desk, bed and shelving he wants for his apartment space.

Then there’s the financial aid. Due to various circumstances, I ended up being the parent doing the “Parent PLUS” loan. Okay, that’s fine, but the last stage in that process (after we emailed various PDFs and DOCs back and forth with the financial aid office) involves dealing with the StudentLoans.gov website. The idea is that one can fill out the promissory note electronically.

Sure, you can. Riiiiight.

Actually, we know it can be done: Wendi was able to do it just fine. Since things changed to require putting my neck in the financial noose, however, I had to go through the process as well.

And it looked like it worked, at first… kind of. I got through it all, everything looked kosher, but when I’d go to look at the “Completed” section… nothing. I exchanged email with the financial aid office, who advised a particular method of getting results (accompanied by vague comments about how “the site’s been having problems lately,” no, really?) so I tried again. And again. Yes, I tried different browsers; this isn’t my first rodeo, Mr. Stark.

Eventually I was given a number to call. Which was off by one digit,  so I was then given another number to call. The helpful person on the other end gave me… yet another number to call. Finally I worked with someone who could help me through the process properly. Great, now we’ll get results!

Only, no, we didn’t. Exactly the same results, even with the expert on the phone. “Huh, that should’ve worked.” You don’t say.

“So, what I need you to do is to print this out and overnight it to…”

Great. Mind you, there’s nothing to print out after the process fails, so let’s go through it one more time… turn the “proof” preview into a PDF… then print that out (pages and pages of inscrutable legalese)… then visit the FedExKinkosBananaFannaFoFanna after work and spend thirty dollars to overnight the silly thing to Alabama.

All of this over a document that was supposed to take five minutes to complete, for free, online. Ah, progress.