The $150 professional in-person service confirmed what the $50 online service (no, I didn’t pay for that one, but that’s what it would have cost if I’d filed that way) said: I owe the fine State Of Oregon over three hundred dollars in taxes this year, and I’m only getting a bit more than twice that back from the United States of blessed America’s federal government.

You see, it turns out that I made too many bonuses last year. Terrific. I now need to adjust my withholdings so that the maximum possible taxes are being taken out. Awesome.

So much for any plans I had for doing… well, pretty much anything at all this spring. If you’ll excuse me, I need to find something fun and uplifting to do… something that I’m capable of doing, anyway, considering that I’m still a plague carrier with no stamina or breathing capacity or equilibrium. I flat out refuse to get depressed over this, but I am a bit… annoyed. Put out. Something.

Before I go, I’d like to address something to a surprisingly high percentage of my fellow patrons of Portland’s fine public transportation system today:

Dear unwashed, uncouth masses,

Would it kill you to bathe more than once a week? How about laundering your clothes while you’re at it? And hey, your friend is sitting right next to you so I’m 100% certain that you don’t have to converse at full shouty level. Oh, and while I know what opinions are like, it would still go a long way toward making you sound like less of a complete moron if you’d perform the tiniest bit of research into those so-called “facts” you keep spouting off about medicine, politics, religion or pretty much any other fact-based topic. I wouldn’t trust you people to tell me that the Earth will continue in its present orbit into tomorrow. You are all a collective blight upon humanity.

With disdain in my heart,

– The Little Grey Duck