Once again this morning I was reminded of a fact that I can’t quite fit into my world view. I dress in clean clothes, I bathe every day, I do my best to present a pleasant (or at least neutral) demeanor, I lack disfiguring scars and tattoos and piercings, I use deodorant, I don’t take up that much space. So why is it that nobody wants to sit next to me on the bus or train?
This morning, for instance, two people in a row stopped at my bench on the MAX, crouched a bit as if they were about to sit down, then apparently thought better of it and moved on. Most of the time on the bus, if I happen to be on the last bench with a free seat inside the entire vehicle, it’ll remain unoccupied while people stand in the aisle. It’s been this way for as long as I can remember.
What gives, Portland? Why don’t you want to sit next to me? I don’t bite. Honest.
(For the record, I don’t mind having elbow room. I just feel bloody damned conspicuous as the only person on the vehicle who’s sitting alone.)
Comments
5 responses to “The Pariah of Public Transit”
Poor Karel. A victim of unspoken rules. Here, I’ll speak them for you:
Bus ridership is usually more than 50% female. Women avoid sitting by men, though the opposite is not true. Men will sit by a woman, or someone they know. Desirable seat partners for women:
A female
An obviously unavailable male
An attractive male
Desirable seat partners for men:
No one, dammit
A friend or co-worker
An attractive female
Any female
An attractive male
Enjoy your autonomy. When people start sitting by you, you’ve officially become non-threatening. And you don’t want that.
I didn’t think I was quite so unattractive. Le sigh.
You misunderstand. Those are the people busriders sit by, in order of most often to least often. Attractive men are threatening, you goob.
You, sir, are a hell of a lot more gregarious than I am on transit. Other people on transit don’t freak me out or make me nervous or anything, but I like it just fine when nobody sits by me.
Cat haveth a point there. Don’t take it personally”“I’m sure you’re fine and in no way offputting in person (I only say that because I’ve never seen you). People not sitting near you isn’t a reflection on you…it’s a reflection on their desire to have some space of your own.
Take it from someone who’s been riding public transit since high school”“you’re fine.
…I meant, when I said in the above “it’s a reflection on their desire to have space of your own” to actually say “it’s a reflection on their desire to have space of thier own”, of course.