Here’s something that happens to me from time to time, living in this city and commuting via mass transit and on foot as much as I do.
Portlanders like to joke that there are two seasons, Wet Season and Road Construction Season. We’re now solidly into the former, and this morning I was walking from the Hillsboro Airport MAX station to the office, umbrella furled and sheathed in my hand. (Yes, my umbrella comes with its own protective jacket, also known as “the umbrella condom,” because my friends and I are weirdos.) After a few minutes I felt a light mist on my face. “No worries,” I thought. “It’s not heavy enough to bother with the umbrella for.”
The further I walked, the heavier the mist became. Soon it was sprinkling, but still lightly. Still I chose not to unfurl the umbrella. I stopped off at Starbucks for cocoa (with mint) and a breakfast sandwich, and as I left I noticed that the sprinkling was steadily working itself up to the level of actually raining. It wasn’t quite enough to make me break out the umbrella, and by this point it was something of a challenge. Could I make it to the office before the rain got heavy enough to break my resolve?
Crossing the big intersection at 25th & Cornell, the rain picked up a bit more, and I almost caved. With one hand full of food and drink and the other carrying the sheathed umbrella, however, I decided that not only would I stand firm in the face of moisture falling from the sky, but it’d be more trouble than it might be worth to actually get the umbrella out and opened. I made it to the office a little bit damp, but generally triumphant.
I imagine some perverse Sky God looking down upon me from time to time as I carry a folded-up umbrella and thinking, “What’s it gonna take to make you open that thing, little man? Is this enough rain? How about this? Let’s throw in some wind. Not enough? Okay, let’s open the tap a bit more. Now? No? How about now?” And so forth.
But then, I have an odd sort of imagination. Nobody really believes there’s a Sky God who loves to taunt and challenge us for no apparent reason. Right?
Comments
7 responses to “What’s It Gonna Take, Little Man?”
No, of course there isn’t a Sky God who loves to taunt and challenge us for no apparent reason.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is “Probably because of something you did.”–Jack Handy
[sarcasm]What a horrible thing to quote.[/sarcasm]
But I can also imagine some force of Providence bringing on the rain in the least opportune of times. I would comment that I’ve also encountered such a fate several times… but it’s been said before, so I guess I’ll just sum it up to: It’s genetic.
You paint an amusing picture. Of course, I probably wouldn’t have opened my umbrella either. Too much to juggle!
What a great bit of writing 🙂 I can totally relate, as a matter of fact *grin*
Of course, out here I don’t even bother. To much wind to make an umbrella worth while. When we had the rain storm in August people looked at me funny, but I was laughing at them as their umbrellas got destroyed. Hahaha. (Flooding everywhere and almost couldn’t get home)
This would be the perfect post for a….
“I-for-one-welcome-our-new-sky-God-overseers”
post.
But I’m above such things….or am I?
Q.E.D., Korashime… *grin*