Category: Quotes

  • All war is terrorism, really

    Taking a few minutes off from being one of the cleverest smartasses on the web, Master Ninja tells us a little about the concepts of “terrorism” and “war.”

    Oh, did you notice how I didn’t use the word “terrorist attack” in that sentence there? Well, I did that on purpose. See, unless you have jelly for brains, you can realize that any military operation is a terrorist operation. When you’re in a war, you generally have two ways to get your point across – either you kill every one of your enemies (which occurs rarely) or you scare the living F— out of them until they surrender. Do you think the bombs we drop strategically ring our enemies’ doorbells and hide in the bushes? Do you think they have special “bad people” detectors? Do you think we have bombs that cast off the shackles of the oppressed while making their dictators think really hard about what they did wrong?

    No. We – that is, America – drop bombs on people to scare the living f— out of them. We know we’re not going to eliminate all of our enemies. We also know that killing one, or three, or four hundred of the “key leaders” isn’t going to tear down the organization based on an ideal of hatred shared by many of their countrymen. What will stop any enemy is making them think, “Wait! They’ve got f—ing bombs! Big ones! I’m scared because one of those bombs might very well make me die.” Fear. Fear is a much greater weapon of war than any weapon that has ever been developed in any lab – unless they’re developing Fear Bombs, which very well might work better than Fear itself.

    Better yet, go read the whole piece. Take note that it hasn’t been gently sanitized like the quoted paragraphs above. It’s damned good reading anyway.
    Master Ninja – Terrorism

  • Call it a purposeful lack of religion.

    With enough time, practice and effort I hope to be as clever a writer as Emily, who has this to say about defending your right not to have a God:

    But what bothers me is that my total lack of religion is perceived as a blank space to be filled with some god or another. Au contraire, my not-religion is just as firm in my mind as religion is to those who follow it. I’m not so much an atheist/agnostic as someone who has no doctrine about the theological and devotes herself instead to the here and now (is that what secular humanists do? I forget). The trouble is in defending this way of life to people who wish to convert me. They see it as a lack of something necessary, while I see it as a lack of something unnecessary.

    I’m going to carry that last sentence with me for the rest of my days. Thanks, Emily!
    “mormons”

  • One nation, with liberty.

    Not that I really wanted to get involved in this one, but reading one of the news stories on Yahoo! set my teeth to grinding. Here’s the bit of nonsense in question:

    Senate Chaplain Lloyd Ogilvie joined the fray in his opening prayer on the Senate floor on Thursday, saying: “Almighty God …. We acknowledge the separation of sectarianism and state, but affirm the belief that there is no separation between God and state.”

    Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle, a South Dakota Democrat, thanked Ogilvie, and said: “He spoke for all of us. We are one nation under God.”

    Uh, Lloyd? Tom? Last time I checked, “freedom of religion” means that I don’t have to acknowledge your God, and my government (that would be you) shouldn’t be forcing your God down my throat.

    A phrase added to the Pledge half a century ago is being removed because it violates church/state separation. Cool.
    Yahoo! – Lawmakers Denounce…

  • One-upsmanship, spousal style

    My wife was mildly amused by the “Karel is” Google search results. On a whim, we decided to try her name instead. Sadly, “Wendilynn is” returns almost no results at all, and none worth using.

    “Wendi is”, however, indicates that she’s much more interesting than I am. (Hey, I’m a robot, remember?)

    Wendi is also the Editor-in-Chief of the RITRO.com community, a content-oriented site based on Real Insight Through Raw Opinion.
    Wendi is a charter member of the Belly Dancing Troup, The Goddess Babes, in Taos, New Mexico.
    Wendi is an experienced model and her modeling is never “over-posed”.
    Wendi is a founding member of the Human Rights Network of
    Aotearoa-New Zealand, launched at the same ceremony.
    Wendi is a well know (sic) international speaker and trainer, and conducts trainings and seminars in Europe, UK, and USA.
    Wendi is a young mother raising her 3-year-old daughter alone.
    Wendi is the most important person in my life.
    Wendi is a member of the National Guild of Hypnotists, and a popular speaker for trainings, conventions and shows.
    Wendi is also a member of the Formative Years Foundation Board.
    Wendi is (a) member of Classic Folk, a folk group formed through the Brampton Folk Club.
    Wendi is also instrumental in testing our sites and making sure that everything works.
    Wendi is here in Austria currently, studying at the EPU in Schlaining.
    Wendi is a native of Connecticut having grown up in Newington.
    Wendi is terrific!
    Wendi is a recent addition to Chi Delta Mu. (Link provided for amusement’s sake, but not for the faint of heart. Um.)
    Wendi is way more than a devout southern baptist…she is a sold out disciple of Christ.
    Wendi is “crazy in love” with an amazing man who treats her how she has always dreamed of being treated.
    Wendi is a certified massage therapist.
    Wendi is another “teacher to be” in our group.
    Wendi is still an apprentice though, and her skills are somewhat raw and at times unfocused.
    Wendi is a 21-year-old Africian-American lesbian.
    Wendi is a seasoned entertainer from the Country and is very versatile.
    Wendi is very sweet and loves kids.
    Wendi is a 29-year-old visual display artist from Iowa who describes herself as an ’80s child.
    Wendi IS the most glorious, luminescent one. (It then reads, “I am her slave.”)
    Wendi is usually inspired by a specific theme.
    WENDI IS THE BESTEST IN THE WORLDEST.

    And most of those are from just the first four pages of results! Wow, what a woman I married. I’m so proud of her… all except for that CDM bit. Um.

  • Hi! “(my name) is”.

    Thanks to Emily for turning me on to the latest silly Google meme to hit the web, searching for “(Name) is” on Google and posting pieces of the results. For instance, given the search “Karel is” I can retrieve these statements:

    Karel is verziend.
    Karel is awakened in bed when the newspaper – represented by a beeper – is thrown on the front porch of the house.
    Karel is best known for his plays.
    Karel is here to prove otherwise.
    Karel is to take on the tedious taste of squirreling around the tree branches and picking up the lights (beepers).
    Karel is a good medium for teaching such concepts but also has other virtues.
    Karel is a graphical approach to programming, developed at Stanford for our CS introductory courses.
    Karel is a published poet and writer.
    Karel is an unselfish person, always ready to serve and give good advice.
    Karel is a virgin, and when the beautiful, experienced Susan impulsively sleeps with him, he falls madly in love.
    Karel is a very prominent community artist in North Wales.

    Okay, those are the highlights from the first six pages worth of Google responses. Sadly, the “published poet and writer” is some other Karel. The other link is to a brief biography of the brothers Capek, one of whom is my namesake. Of the other statements, most are about something called “Karel the Robot.” If you’re conversant with the work of Karel Capek you’ll see how a robot came to share my first name.

    I think I’ll get to that story some time soon. As annoying as my name can be, I’m delighted to have as a namesake the man who brought the word “robot” to the English language.

  • Fun With Food – A Quotable Moment

    I have to thank Emily for providing me with some hearty laughter for my Monday:

    With a brief glance at my order pad, I tossed two wheat rolls and a breadstick in my bread basket and set off towards the table that asked for them. Halfway there I glanced into the basket, and well. The bread was not arranged in an aesthetically pleasing way. I mean, I had two round things and a stick thing in my bread basket. Yeah. It was an enriched-wheat phallus.

    That there is a Google search if ever I saw one.
    Original Posting Here