Category: Quotes

  • That’s neither a Wizard or a Quest

    Wendi and her dad have often spoken of the wonderful times they’ve had playing a game called “Wizard’s Quest.” Perhaps you’ve heard of it. I hadn’t. It’s a board game with complicated rules that takes a long time. This description could fit just about anything the Avalon Hill company ever produced, of course.

    On a whim I decided to Google for information about the game, to see if it had ever been computerized, that sort of thing. And in the process I learned two things.

    1) When you want to look for “Wizard’s Quest,” the game, be sure to include “Avalon Hill” in your search terms. Otherwise you’re likely to come across several tons of this kind of gods-forsaken crap:

    My description of your physical and spiritual existence is an eternal vision of my God (male) force blending with the Goddess in an androgynous and magical reunion. The two higher selves become one, each ruled by their own sovereign laws.

    Each obeys the laws of being and nurtures a free and spontaneous way to produce different music from the same source. Each an inspiration to each other, fusing into one with two bodies that create the synthesis of androgynous energy, to regenerate the magic of heaven.

    This wizard’s promise to his ultimate female muse is that he will find her again while traveling through his Spiritual worlds. This quest is his dream to play with her again in the lush gardens and forest groves of the magical planet, Gaia, and to co-create with brothers and sisters, the new Virgin paradigm of Who We Are.

    There are so many things wrong with that web page that I just can’t even decide where to start. Let’s move on, instead.

    2) Someone’s taken the time, apparently, to recreate “Wizard’s Quest” as a computer game. The fact that the screenshot is taken from Windows XP and the website is hosted on Geocities may or may not be offputting to you. I think I’m going to download it tomorrow and see how it looks. Think on it as a parting gift for the father-in-law who’s soon to be moving back to Arizona at long, long last.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go have some dessert, listen to some music and hit the sack.

  • Doing it. On purpose.

    Mari: … you’d be surprised how many people read without ever leaving a comment…
    me: And then there’s all those random Google hits. 😉
    Mari: love those 🙂
    me: Yep.
    Mari: you still get better ones than me, though 🙂
    me: *grin* I do bait Google from time to time, though. Yes, I AM seeing InuYasha searches coming in now.
    Mari: LOL too funny…
    Mari: I need to write about more Internet interesting things…
    me: *shrug* Like the games you play?
    Mari: even that wouldn’t draw people in.. maybe planting things like “Live-Action Ranma Porn” or “Yu-Gi-Oh Spank Video”
    Mari: hee hee hee
    me: Ewwww.
    Mari: heh
    me: Nah, then you’ll just get comments from angry trolls.
    Mari: ha ha ha which is almost amusing enough on its own 🙂 cause they’d have to admit they were looking for “Akane Panty Pics”
    me: “Mousse Bestiality Pr0n”
    Mari: LOL!!!
    Mari: i was trying to stay away from blatant perversity 🙂
    me: As soon as you suggested spanking YuGi, you crossed the line. I mean, really now. *shudder*
    Mari: hee hee…


    Can you see why this is one of the best and coolest friends in the known universe? Heck yeah.

  • On Shuttles and Space Exploration

    In the rather lively Slashdot discussion entitled, “Where Should Space Exploration Go From Here?” we are treated to a variety of crackpot schemes, conspiracy theories and the usual Slashdot-isms. Also, twice, we see a link to this Washington Monthly article that was originally published in 1980, before the now-lost Columbia ever saw Earth orbit. I’ll give you a quick sample:

    Technical problems are just that: technical. Much of what’s wrong with the shuttle will someday be fixed. If money is no object, as it usually isn’t in space launches, we can pay more for reusable shuttles than for throw-away rockets if we have to. But the question never answered is–what will the shuttle do that rockets couldn’t do?

    It can’t launch more than they can; sometimes, it can’t launch as much. (Even the 65,000-pound target pales compared to the 250,000 pounds a Saturn V could hoist.) It can’t bring back satellites. It can’t keep a space station aloft even a fraction as long as Skylab stayed up there. It has no scientific value. It just has men in the front seats … and an enormous amount of weight and equipment devoted to bringing them, and an empty cargo bay, back in one piece.

    There is something noteworthy a rocket can do that the shuttle cannot. A rocket can be permitted to fail. What if a billion dollar spaceship wipes out on a “routine” mission “commuting” to space with some puny little satellite? Cooper fears it might drive a stake through the heart of the manned space program. Would the public stand to lose a quarter of the fleet in a single day? Would it fork over another billion dollars to build a replacement? Would it stand for spending millions to train astronauts to be truck drivers, only to lose truck and drivers both? The prospect makes the old rockets seem kind of nice. One of the old throw-away jobs could go haywire, and spiral down into the ocean off the Bahamas, and everybody would feel miserable and millions would be wasted and everybody would go back to work. Lost it, dammit–but then nobody ever expected it back.

    It’s depressing as well as disturbingly prophetic, and I had to read through the whole article twice before I could wrap my brain around it. I’ve been such a big fan of the Shuttle project for so long now that it’s hard to read such a dissection without squirming uncomfortably.

    Later in the Slashdot threads comes this posting, which I copy here almost in its entirety (but for the last few sentences which I found to be unneccessarily offensive):

    For space exploration purposes, people suck. They have two advantages- local decision making ability, and propaganda value. That’s it.

    By all other standards human beings are horrible astronauts. They need to be pampered with reasonable temperatures and pressures, a comfortable oxygen environment, water, food, toilets, thick heavy shielding from cosmic rays, and worst of all, a return trip! The rockets carrying them need to conform to tighter specifications and when they inevitably crash we have to sit through another God Bless America orgy. Humans get unexpected disorders and diseases and require elaborate medical care. Even in pedestrian frontiers like Antarctica we’ve been treated to spectacles like a doctor performing a biopsy on herself and administering herself chemotherapy using medical supplies dropped from a plane. Can you imagine someone developing cancer, appendicitis, or schizophrenia halfway to Mars? Although it would save a great deal of money and actually make some missions practical to carry out, we would never ask a volunteer to go to the surface of Mars or Europa and then take a cyanide pill. But that’s because we’re a bunch of hypocrites. This is practically what we are doing when we send people into space.

    This is all a high price to pay for local decision making ability, especially when you consider that humans are likely to travel no more than a few light-minutes away anyway, in regions of the solar system that are easily accessible by radio with relatively short ping times. And there is NO reason to send people to low earth orbit. What the hell is the point of that? LOW EARTH ORBIT IS NOT SPACE EXPLORATION.

    Robots make much better astronauts than people do. When they’re in accidents, nobody cares. In fact, the French crashed an unmanned rocket last month and it was a one day “ha ha” story. Our robots have visited several planets and have even landed on the surface of a few of them. Despite the small amounts of funding they get, their track record is much more impressive. And there are many more things we would be doing with robots within the solar system, if it weren’t for the crowd-pleasing money pits known as the Space Shuttle and the International Space Station.

    And what the hell is the point of these programs? Critics usually counter with some dumb argument involving the Wright brothers. But air travel has obvious benefits. You can get from point A to point B really fast in an airplane. What is the point of cramming people into garbage cans in low earth orbit? Except to suck money away from more deserving programs? In a few years our launch window for Pluto will have expired. It is receding into the further part of its orbit. By the time a probe arrives, its atmosphere will have frozen onto its surface where it will remain for centuries. You could fund a dozen of these programs with the money wasted on a single shuttle launch.

    – “MillionthMonkey,” Slashdot user


    I don’t have the answers. I wish I did. But I’m a bit wiser now than I was when I started the day, and that has to count for something.
    Slashdot: Space Exploration…

  • Stereotyping Is Funny

    Setting the tone for the new year, I’m stealing a joke from a Slashdot discussion.

    A Texan, a Californian, and an Oregonian are out hiking in the wilderness and meet each other and decide to share a camp fire. After dinner, in a flash of showmanship, the Texan pulls a bottle of tequila out of his pack and takes one long swig out of it. Then the Texan throws the bottle up into the air and whips out a large chromed, pearl-handled revolver and shoots the bottle out of the air. His camp-mates are a bit surprised and comment on the waste of good tequila. The Texan explains, “Oh, it’s no loss. Where I’m from we’ve got more tequila than we can drink.” Not to be out-done, the Californian fetches a bottle of Chardonnay from his pack, takes a sip, throws it into the air, whips out a Glock 9mm with laser sight and empties the clip, breaking the bottle, and then boasts, “Where I come from we have more wine than we can drink.” The Oregonian fetches a bottle of micro-brewed, bottle-conditioned India Pale ale from his pack, quietly drinks the entire bottle, tosses the empty into the air, pulls out a shotgun, shoots the Californian, and catches the bottle before it hits the ground. Then he explains to the stunned Texan, “Where I’m from, we have more Californians than we need, and this bottle is worth 5 cents.”


    Maybe I need a humor section like Wendi’s. Or maybe not.

  • The nicest woman you know of

    File this one under “weird tangents in AIM chats.”

    me: Hah! Be nice…
    Mari: 🙂 i am frequently nice
    Mari: (at least i am honest enough not to say ALWAYS *grin*)
    me: Nobody’s ALWAYS nice. 😉
    Mari: Mary Poppins
    me: She doesn’t count. She’s a freaky woman.
    Mari: LOL but i like her *grin* OK, another person who is always nice
    Mari: Mrs. Claus
    me: But you never hear much about her… except that she cares for Mr. Claus. What does she do in the off-season?
    Mari: professional dominatrix? *grin*
    me: “I’ve got your jolly RIGHT HERE, worm!”
    Mari: LOL
    me: “I’m naughty AND nice, and don’t you forget it!”
    Mari: yeah she has a latex version of her little red and white dress
    me: The real reason the elves work so hard every year.
    Mari: or the real reason that Santa is so happy
    me: I wonder if there are boy- and girl-type elves. Or do you splash water on them to change them? 😉
    Mari: ha ha ha… some of them mysteriously turn into ducks or cats or piggies
    me: The real difficulty is in getting enough hot water at the North Pole.
    Mari: i am sure they have adequate plumbing
    me: Yes, I suppose outhouses and stone wells are out of the question.

  • Ethan Hawke. What a waste of material.

    Had a brief but shining chat with Jessy this afternoon…

    me: Ethan Hawke did a Hamlet? *shudder*
    Jessy: ewwww
    Jessy: yes it was HORRIBLE
    me: Oh gawd. That’s… okay, that does it. Between a bad Hamlet and pretending to be a writer, Ethan Hawke must die.
    Jessy: Ok, I read “The hottest state” and almost cried because it was SO bad.. horrible horrible book it was
    me: Too bad you can’t easily MSTie books. =)
    Jessy: lol
    me: “We’ve got Chapter Sign!”
    Jessy: lol
    me: must… resist… temptation…
    Jessy: Hehehe
    me: (not hard to resist, since I’d have to READ it to MSTie it.)
    Jessy: heh

    Well, alright, when you get right down to it I did most of the talking. What did you expect me to do? This website is all about me, showing off my own cleverness, or what passes for it.

    I was also given an ultimatum: I need to hurry up and get that oft-promised page done. The one with all the silly widgets and geegaws. You know, oral sex donations and things. So it’s done now, are you happy? 😉