Poking around the animemusicvideos.org forums I spotted a somewhat amusing little rant about the “quality” of the Sailor Moon English dub. Note that I use the word “quality” reservedly here.

Anyway, on to some of the funny bits…

Sailor Moon is at the top of my list for bad dubs. I would rather scrape my eardrums out with strands of barbed wire than listen to those horrendous voices. Even dub enthusiasts usually agree that Sailor Moon’s dub is the worst ever made, preiod, end of story. Even if you hate Japanese voices, and hate reading subtitles, you’ll find yourself thanking the heavens again and again that you don’t have to listen to the English voices!

Our gentle fanboy then proceeds to dissect the name changes…

-Sailor Mercury, Ami – It seems Americans can’t handle that her name ends in an I, so they changed her name to Amy.
-Sailor Mars, Rei – Her name just had a spelling change, too. She’s Raye in the dub.
-Sailor Jupiter, Makoto, has the most inexplicable name change of all. Somehow they decided that her name should be Lita… WHY IS HER NAME LITA????! WHO WOULD NAME THEIR KID LITA????! It’s like “Yo, I’m finna go to the store and get me a lita of soda!”
-Sailor Venus, Minako. This name was apparently much too long for American audiences, so they changed it to Mina. In the actual show, Artemis sometimes calls her Mina to be cute, but her name is Minako, not Mina god damn it!
-Sailor Chibi-Moon, Usagi, Nicknamed Chibiusa – Her name got changed to.. this is so classic.. RINI!!! WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT???! RINI!!?? HAHAHAHA!! To top it all off, they changed her Sailor Soldier name to “Sailor Mini-Moon”! What’s funnier is that they did this AFTER Austin Powers 2 was out! They should have known better! I can see it now.. Sailor Moon looking down at Chibiusa, all like “I will call her.. Mini-Me!”

But that’s not all, oh no…

Here’s some other inexplicable name changes!

Umino – Melvin
Naru – Molly
Motoki – Andrew
Jadite – Jedite
Kunzite – Malochite (???!)
Dark Kingdom – The Negaverse
Queen Metalia – The Negaverse
Black Moon – The Negaverse
Planet Nemesis – The Negaverse
MTV – The Negaverse (OK, just kidding…)
America – The Negaverse (Get the picture?)

Gee, you think he doesn’t like the dubbed version of Sailor Moon? Maybe? “I will call her… Mini-Moon.” *chuckle*
AMV.org forum topic

At the end of a long day, it’s fun to think up new blog memes with which to torture the websurfing masses…

Emily: i’ll claw my way to the top somehow
me: I’ll cheer you all the way. 😉
Emily: whee!
Emily: Blogger cheerleaders. now there’s a concept.
me: Hmm, I wonder if we can come up with a new meme for that. Because, after all, spawning a cool new meme is what it’s all about, right?
Emily: oh totally 🙂
me: If you have blogger cheerleaders, you then form them into a blogger cheerleading squad.
me: And then you make them do cheers, and perform acrobatic feats.
Emily: and they do stuff to get you hits, i guess
me: Yes!
me: “Gimme an E!” “E!” “Gimme an M!” “M!”…
Emily: yay!
me: And, of course, they have to wear short skirts.
Emily: even the male cheerleaders?
me: Um, unless they’re men. Unless the men want to.
Emily: right
me: Kilts.
Emily: yes!
Emily: cheer kilts!
me: Do they then have to do their cheers in a brogue?
Emily: Hm
Emily: Yes.
me: Tough requirements for the cheerleading squad then… “Must be fan of blog. Must look good in kilt. Must be reasonably athletic. Must be willing and able to drive traffic to said blog. Must be able to cheer in a Scottish brogue.”
me: Assuming an all-male squad, I suppose.
Emily: they better look good in the kilt.
me: Indeed. We don’t anyone with scary legs.
Emily: which would be the colors of the blog’s design?
me: Maybe, but then you’d have to commit to a color scheme for the course of the cheerleading season.
Emily: Hm yeah.
me: At least until the quarter-finals, when you can break out the stunning new color scheme to quash the competition in the finals.
Emily: Do they date the blog football players?
me: Only if they’re lucky.
me: (I cannot believe I just said that. WHAT blog football players?)
Emily: i’m sure they exist…in some universe…
me: What kind of field would you play blog football on?
Emily: A virtual one, perhaps
me: No… we get one of those old Coleco hand-held football games!
Emily: hee hee
me: It makes the team a lot smaller, thus easier to pay the salaries.
Emily: they get salaries?
me: You just know they’ll go on strike if they don’t. Unless we get REALLY dumb players who will work for peanuts. Or cheerleader nookie.
Emily: Hm I was picturing a volunteer thing
Emily: but then, i’m stuck in high scho0ol mode 😛
me: You’ll get over that.
Emily: i hope so.
me: *grin*

Thanks to Emily for several minutes of fun and a few disturbing mental images. No, not that image! That image is really rather nice.

The proprietess of Dragon Ink came across a book entitled, “Little Visits With God.” She also gave us a sample from one of the stories…

Why Cindy Wanted To Be Spanked

Cindy had been naughty, and she knew it. Twice in one week her daddy had spanked her. She was little, but not too little to know why she was spanked.
Cindy told her little friend Walter about the spankings.
“I never get spanked,” said Walter.
“Sometimes you should get spanked,” said Cindy.
“Why?”asked Walter.
“‘Cause then you’d be easier to play with, and you’d grow up to be a better man and … and… you might get to be a Christian, too,” Cindy explained.

It’s only frightening because it’s real.
Dragon Ink – Little Visits

friend: I’m working on the overnight team at Target. Unload the truck, stock shelves, all that fun stuff.
me: Well, it gets you away from Joe Average Customer, at least.
me: (I hate dealing with The Public. Gah.)
friend: Indeed. I would end up killing all the customers, or “guests” as Target likes to call them.
me: “guests” har har… I love corporate euphemisms.
friend: lol, yep
friend: I can’t help but laugh when the dayside people come in and start saying, “We need to get ready for the guests!”
me: “Lay out the mines, the mortars and the gun enclosures! Make sure to string the barbed wire across the entrances AND exits!”
friend: lol
me: Hmm, I don’t think I have the right attitude to work the dayside shift at Target, ya think?

Two things that taste great together. Or maybe not.

me: I just tend to use “Muahahaha!” instead.
coworker: Ahhh–I use my own version of that quite often. “moowahahahahaha”
coworker: (I do like cows…)
me: *chuckle* Cows and Metallica. Interesting combo. “Mootallica!”
coworker: oh lord…what have I done?!