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I first read about the apparent backlash against the greeting, “Happy Holidays,” on This Modern World a while ago. I figured it to be a stupid talk-radio thing that would go away in a matter of days, if not hours. But no, apparently people are still talking about it.

I’m the sort of guy who gets incensed at the kneejerk political correctness we’re inundated with nowadays. It’s not as though colloquial language can’t use a touch of sensitivity, but as with any good idea there are bound to be nutjobs who take it as their moral duty to carry that idea to extremes. (I’m reminded of a tagline: “Death to all fanatics!”) If you want to come after me for not saying “Merry Christmas,” however, there are a couple of things you must first consider.

First, I say “Happy holidays” because during this stretch of time we have a variety of holidays which stem from a number of religious and/or spiritual traditions, from the ancient rites of Solstice and Yule all the way down to Gregorian-calendar excuses-for-partying like New Year’s Day. When you don’t know which specific holiday or combination of holidays a person is going to celebrate, the sensible thing to do is convey one’s well-wishes in broad enough terms that they can interpret it in the best possible light. I’m not about to say “Happy Kwanzaa” to a devout Catholic, but there aren’t very many people whose religious affiliation I know well enough to make that sort of judgement call…. and anyone I know that well already knows the second thing I’m asking you to consider.

I’m not religious. I’m not going to put Christmas forth as the centerpiece of the so-called “holiday season” because it’s not something I celebrate in my heart as a spiritually meaningful event. I don’t celebrate any of the others, either, so don’t think I’m specifically anti-Christmas. I simply do not attach significance to the date other than as a day on which I have an excuse to buy my kids and other loved ones nifty presents. (Mind you, this year and last saw most of the gift-giving take place in late November, to coincide with Dawn’s availability to visit and, thus, enjoy watching people open presents. It’s the giving, not the getting, dammit.) If that makes me a filthy godless materialist bastard, so be it, although I’m pretty sure my parents were in fact married when I was born. Oh, and I bathe daily. The “godless materialist” part, though, I’ll cop to.

And lest you think I’m a bitter old fart, let me now wish you all, on the left-wing and the right-wing, Christian and Pagan and what-have-you-else, a very happy holiday season. May the weeks ahead be filled with naught but joy and love.

Happy holidays!