The annual company holiday party is something of a necessary social occasion, from my point of view. It gives me a chance to rub elbows with my coworkers in a situation that doesn’t involve phrases like, “The Internet’s broken, can you fix it?” I like (the majority of) my fellow employees, really.

Mind you, this year’s party sent me packing in fairly short order. Let’s see… Loud, crowded venue? Check. Not a non-alcoholic drop to drink other than water? Check. Food selections consisting almost entirely of bread-based snacks? Check. (Anything meat-based was carried around by a server and doled out piecemeal, so gods forbid you wanted another one of those yummy coconut shrimp.) Jazz band in the corner contributing to the decibel levels so I can’t possibly hear what anyone’s saying? Check and mate.

Nevermind that on a day when, early in the morning, I was assured by the weather service that it wouldn’t be raining for about a week so I left my umbrella home, it started sprinkling just as I was leaving the office to walk over to the venue… well, it was just better for all involved if I left after a nice, brief turn around the tables, you know?