I was expounding to Dawn this evening about where my “unique” name comes from, and on a whim decided to do some websurfing. It is with pleasant surprise I give you the following link… though I freely admit this is more for my own records than for any sort of amusement or educational value that it might hold for anyone who isn’t Me, or doesn’t share my first name.
Month: September 2003
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The Whole Mood Playground
Has this ever happened to you?
I’m sitting here on a quiet Saturday afternoon, puttering around (after putting away a pedestrian Potter publication) and it hits me. Wave after wave of the blackest, most overwhelming despair wells up from out of the inky depths of what passes for my soul. There’s no real reason for it, other than perhaps hunger and fatigue and a bit of loneliness… but not enough of either or all to warrant such a horrendous outpouring of inner turmoil and self-loathing.
Wow.
A couple handsful of oyster crackers (the last thereof, sadly) and an hour’s nap was enough to bring me back to something resembling sanity, or at least normalcy. Yes, I’m feeling much better now.
Here’s what I think: I think I’m starting to get better, starting to really look forward to the future (even if the good parts are too damned far away yet!) and therefore starting to loosen my ironclad grip on the pain I’ve been burying inside all my life.
This is a good thing, right?
Yeah, except when the pain rises up and demands its share of my time. Talk about “double-plus ungood,” baby. Mood swings? How about mood merry-go-rounds? Mood slides? Mood see-saws? I’ve got ’em all.
Unfortunately I managed to fire off a really horrid piece of writing during the depths of today’s episode, and I’d just like to let those few who saw it know that I’m really perfectly okay, if a bit rattled. I could use a hug, but that’s about all I need right now.
That, and a decent meal. Yes indeed. Hunger is not our friend. But that’s a rant for another day, or another venue.
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Deep Cosmic Ponderings
Not that I’m into the astrology, mind you, but:
If you go down on someone who has the same sign as you, does that count as cosmic cannibalism?
(It’s a day late, but I used the phrase of the day in a sentence. Go, me!)
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Happy Birthday, sweetie.
Has it been ten years already? Apparently it has. What started out as the “baby girl whose time had come” has grown into a precocious, pretty, caring girl who today celebrates one full decade among us.
Of course, now we’re coming up on the really fun part of her childhood.
(And by “fun” I mean, of course, “intensely scary and challenging.” Whee!)
Happy Birthday, Erica. You are the sunshine in all our lives.
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Past, Present, Future – Round Thirty-two
Whoops, late again. Sorry about that. I was asleep by 10:00 last night, if that tells you anything about how exhausted I was. If I’d been thinking I’d have prepped this thing during one of my awakened stretches yesterday.
Don’t get me wrong (get me right! hah!), it’s not that I don’t love doing this. I just have a difficult time remembering when it’s Thursday night and I want to get the PPF ready by midnight. Ah well. Let’s do this thing.
PAST: Sometimes we get in trouble and really earn our punishment. Sometimes it’s all just a big misunderstanding. Is there such a story in your past that you’d like to share, of crossed wires and crossed swords?
PRESENT: How do you tend to deal with misunderstandings, particularly with close friends and loved ones?
FUTURE: “I’d like to apologize to the ambassador from Xanfropplegong III; you see, it was all just a great big misunderstanding. What really happened was…”
You should know the drill by now. Comment with your answers or a link thereto, and link back using the handy-dandy permalink which always points to the most-recent PPF: http://greyduck.net/ppf
Thank you!
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All’s installed that ends installed.
I did, in fact, come in at midnight as planned. I managed an hour or two of napping beforehand, over the course of the evening.
I ran the MFSAV, I ran the JDS upgrade, I ran another MFSAV, I ran the electronic invoicing upgrade, and now I’m running one last MFSAV. That’s it. I’m done.
The plan is that five hours from now I’ll go home and see how much more I can screw up my sleep schedule. Between now (5:00am) and 10:00am I’ll probably putter around and do a few odd jobs to earn my keep. Nothing strenuous, mind you.
If anybody needs me today, I’ll be at home. Resting, if not sleeping. Please be gentle with me. Thanks.