Month: January 2003

  • Bejeweled Friday Five

    • Do you wear any jewelry? What kind? – No.
    • How often do you wear it? – Uh, no.
    • Do you have any piercings? If so, where? – No.
    • Do you have any tattoos? If so, where? – No.
    • What are your plans for the weekend? – No. Er, wait. Quite the sharp left turn, eh? My plans for the weekend involve staying home to watch the rugrats while Wendi does her gig tomorrow, then staying home some more on Sunday. Do I know how to live, or what?

    Friday Five

  • Stereotyping Is Funny

    Setting the tone for the new year, I’m stealing a joke from a Slashdot discussion.

    A Texan, a Californian, and an Oregonian are out hiking in the wilderness and meet each other and decide to share a camp fire. After dinner, in a flash of showmanship, the Texan pulls a bottle of tequila out of his pack and takes one long swig out of it. Then the Texan throws the bottle up into the air and whips out a large chromed, pearl-handled revolver and shoots the bottle out of the air. His camp-mates are a bit surprised and comment on the waste of good tequila. The Texan explains, “Oh, it’s no loss. Where I’m from we’ve got more tequila than we can drink.” Not to be out-done, the Californian fetches a bottle of Chardonnay from his pack, takes a sip, throws it into the air, whips out a Glock 9mm with laser sight and empties the clip, breaking the bottle, and then boasts, “Where I come from we have more wine than we can drink.” The Oregonian fetches a bottle of micro-brewed, bottle-conditioned India Pale ale from his pack, quietly drinks the entire bottle, tosses the empty into the air, pulls out a shotgun, shoots the Californian, and catches the bottle before it hits the ground. Then he explains to the stunned Texan, “Where I’m from, we have more Californians than we need, and this bottle is worth 5 cents.”


    Maybe I need a humor section like Wendi’s. Or maybe not.