As of today I’ve been a father for twenty-one full years. I wasn’t a “Dad” at first, I wasn’t good at the job, but maybe few people are actually talented right out of the gate when it comes to parenting. At any rate, my all-grown-up son is up in Redmond somewhere right now and I hope he’s having a good time.

Responsibly, mind you. Always responsibly.

While pondering what to do with our couple days off together, the lovely and patient Kylanath suggested an Ikea trip. And so, this morning, after a lovely breakfast at the Cadillac Cafe on NE Broadway we embarked via MAX train to our local big blue-and-yellow box. Once again I demonstrated why shopping with me is superior to shopping without me.

• I point out all the shinies. “Oooh, look at this! You know you want one.”
• I provide the best snark. “Of course you need purple napkins. Why else would they exist, otherwise?”
• I am a grand master of using improvised objects for comedy. “I know the sign says it’s an oven mitt, but this is clearly a silicone lizard hand puppet.”
• I can carry heavy boxes for moderate distances on the way home.

My big blue bag only contained a big gray bath towel and a big poofy pillow, one of which I can’t try out until after laundry day and the other I can’t try out until bedtime. Otherwise I behaved myself, and my bank balance thanks me…

There are times when I feel like I’m only of value for two things: To my employers, how much work can they get out of me for the money they pay, and to everyone else, how much money I have for the things they want. I’m a walking, talking, income-outgo equation. Nobody wants to know what’s on my mind or hear about my day. I’m just here to shut up, smile, nod, and make sure I pay my bills on time. Or pick up the tab. Or cough it up for some surprise expense or another.

In case you’re wondering why my writing output fell off again, yes, I’m fighting my way through another depressive period. Paradoxically the summer weather is both helping and hindering my efforts. The full-spectrum sunlight and blue skies help, but the oppressive humidity and heat sap my energy something terrible. Living my entire non-work existence in my bedroom with the noisy rattling air conditioner only reduces the temperature factor, it sure doesn’t help in any other way.

Is it autumn yet?