With apologies to the venerable Monty Python, what follows is a barely-embellished account of my experience a few minutes ago at Ye Olde Purveyors Of Hot Stimulating Beverages…
“Hello, what can I get for you this morning?”
“Hmm. How about a chonga bagel?”
“Sorry, we’re out.”
“The other one, the Hawaiian bagel?”
“We’re all out of bagels.”
“Right. Sandwiches, then. I’ll take a sausage breakfast sandwich.”
“Ah, we’re out of those too.”
“Well, that’s a bit disappointing. You know, I’ll try something new and have the ham sandwich.”
“Actually…”
“Wow. You know, I’m starting to feel like I should turn and shout at the band to stop that bloody singing. But there’s no band here.”
“Huh?”
“Never mind. What sandwiches do you have?”
“We have the pepper bacon!”
“One of those, then, thanks.”
It then took several minutes for the girl to make my cocoa, not because it was particularly busy but because she stopped down for a while to… dink around, as near as I can tell. I wish the Evil Coffee Empire outpost nearest my home wasn’t staffed with such dingbats. I also wish they’d get their food deliveries on time!
The suffering I endure for your amusement…
Comments
2 responses to “The (Abbreviated) Coffee Shop Sketch”
I’m sure if you’d used the word “bazouki” she would have short-circuited… and what kind of Portland Barista can’t ID a classic Monty Python sketch like that? She oughta be shot 😛
Odd. The one I used to patronize was always out of cup sleeves.
I was informed that “The manager forgot to order them, but I can give you double cups!”
“Why don’t you call another location and ask them if they have an extra case?” I asked.
The reply– a SHRUG coupled with “sorry ’bout that!”