Dear Marie Callender Pie Shops Inc.,

For many years I’ve enjoyed your Fettucini With Chicken And Broccoli frozen entree as one of my favorite alternatives to spending too much money dining out at lunchtime. This classic dish, topped off with a few sprinkles of pepper (from the provided packet), has improved many an otherwise-dreary workday. And yet, I’m afraid that your product now disappoints rather more than it pleases.

The first change was the exclusion of the pepper packet a year or so ago. I mourned the loss, but I suppose to some extent it makes sense. Most workplace kitchens have pepper available, yes?

Your new packaging and recipe, however, won’t do the job at all. What used to be Alfredo sauce could now be better described as Alfredo soup. Seriously, almost none of it is sticking to the pasta or broccoli or chicken. Since the whole affair is now a slippery mess, it’s almost impossible to eat the meal without making a total mess of things. And, while I like broccoli well enough, there’s now so much of it that the so-called sauce is almost more green than white thanks to bits of broccoli floating around.

Feh. Here I am, trying to save money on my workday lunches, and this is the treatment I get? To hell with that. I guess I’ll be stocking up on those nifty Stouffer’s panini sandwiches instead.

Yours, etc,

Me.