Looking For Quacks In The Pavement

Money laundering, what?

I should’ve known better than to get my hopes up at the “job offer” email I received yesterday.

We have found your resume at www.monster.com.

Sigh. Apparently the only people who’ve done so up to this point are weasels.

And We would like to suggest you a position at our company – the Transfer Manager.

And I would like to suggest that you jump off a cliff, or possibly go play in traffic.

The task of the Transfer Manager is to process payments between our clients and our company via checks, bank wire transfers,Money Orders.

Oh, this doesn’t sound even remotely suspicious, does it? This is the sentence that set off the rest of my mental alarms. You’re hiring a bunch of people (you say there are 5 positions open) to perform transactions? Aren’t there, you know, professional and secure financial services and what-not for this kind of thing? What’s wrong with using those? And what sort of people are willing to do business with you in this fashion? Do I not even want to know?

Maybe I’m just paranoid. It’s possible that I’m reading too much into this. Maybe.

The job is related to remote Internet operations.

I’m not entirely certain that this sentence even parses.

Every payment order will be accompanied with detailed instructions.

I should hope so.

It’s a commission based position. You will get about 8% of each processed payment.

I shudder to think what your markup is, then, if you can afford to shrug off that much of a given payment.

There’s more, but I won’t bore my readership. Suffice to say that it’s a “work at home” position that will supposedly grant me “financial independence” and “high self-esteem” even though “prior customer service experience is a good benefit, but not a must.”

Don’t call me, folks. I’ll call forget you.

6 Comments

  1. Bridget

    I hear you on that one. I never got any of those “My uncle is an African king who has been falsely denied his riches. Let me send them to you, so you can give them to us” emails until I put my resume up on Monster.

    Good luck on the job search 🙂

  2. stacy

    oh yes, that’s a total check fraud scam, where the ‘company’ sends you checks that are ultimately going to bounce — after you’ve deposited them and wired the money to the company. maybe report this to monster? you’re too smart to fall for that, but I wonder how many victims they catch up this way 🙁

  3. jj

    yeah, haha…I just got this exact email today and found you on a google search. Wanted to see if anybody else has gotten this yet.
    Only difference with mine is that they offer 10% of each processed payment. Guess they are getting desperate, do you think I should apply? lol

  4. scavok

    I got this email today too, I said “sure, i’m interested send me more info.”

    Ha, maybe I’ll get a good laugh out of it 🙂

  5. RickyRaccoon

    Ah… good old Google. Yes, I got this email also, this A.M. Sounded…. fishy. A little Whoising revealed while there does seem to be a ‘Business In Europe’ website located offshore (businessineurope.nu)… which makes NO mention of these ‘opportunities’ that I noticed… the actual websites connected with the email (euro-pol-stone.com and euro-usa-stone.com) seem to be registered with Yahoo Domains, linked to a couple of dudes here in the U.S. What a tangled web! Methinks we’ll forward this one to Monster. Ha! And I thought only insurance companies saw my potential… (at least they’re real businesses…) Funny thing also that raised my flags, I’d just a couple of weeks ago changed my resumes to non-searchable…. that right there made me suspicious, as since then I’ve not gotten any unsolicited offers.

  6. GreyDuck

    Okay, I’m closing comments on this one. There’s not much more to be said than has already been, and I really don’t need additional gory details being tacked onto this entry… like WHOIS info, for instance. There are better venues for that sort of thing. (I appreciate the thought, but, no. This entry wasn’t posted as a community awareness project nor as a springboard for vigilante action.)

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