It’s been bothering me ever since the first time I walked along a sidewalk on a block the city had converted to the new “pay to park” meter scheme. Glued down at every parking space I saw a flat, round lump of metal that served no obvious purpose. Last week I noticed that the discs along one stretch of sidewalk have a website address stamped into them. Huzzah! And so I jotted the information into my trusty phone and hurried home to check out the site.

Well, okay. It took me most of a week to remember that I’d jotted the information into my trusty phone. Ahem. At any rate, I now know what the heck those things are. They’re gorilla post mounting plates.

Huh?

The idea is that the city can quickly and easily attach one of these gorilla posts in case there’s a need to mark a space as off-limits. Since there’s no actual meter present at the space anymore, what else are you going to attach the “no parking” sign to? It’s actually rather clever, though I hesitate to ask how much of the average Portlander’s tax money went into all of this extra equipment (above and beyond the electronic gadgets, that is).

At least I won’t have this mystery keeping me up nights anymore. One insomnia trigger down, hundreds to go.