In the future, I shall endeavor to keep firmly in mind that eating the bite-sized Tootsie Rolls while engaged in an activity that may involve laughter could be hazardous to my health.

I choked on one of the damned things tonight. That, friends, was one of the scariest experiences of my recent lifetime. Being almost unable to breathe? Not fun at all. I was wheezing and panicking. It took a couple of minutes and half a glass of water to get over the worst of it, and my throat’s still a bit hoarse several hours later.

More of that kind of excitement I can do without, thank you muchly.