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Looking For Quacks In The Pavement

Category: Quotes

  • The Fewwowship of the Wing!

    Do you love “The Princess Bride”? What about “The Lord of the Rings”?

    If you do, and the thought of seeing what happens when quotes from one are used in scenes from the other offends your delicate sensibilities… well, tough luck.

    The Inn of the Prancing Pony:
    HOBBITS: Who are you?
    STRIDER: No one of consequence.
    HOBBITS: We must know.
    STRIDER: Get used to disappointment.
    HOBBITS: Okay.

    Ithilien:
    GOLLUM: Good night, hobbitses. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.

    Tomb in Minas Tirith:
    DENETHOR: I am the Dread Steward Denethor. There will be no survivors!
    GUARD 1: Now?
    GUARD 2: Not yet.
    DENETHOR: My men are here. I am here. But soon you will not be here!
    GUARD 1: Now?!
    GUARD 2: Light him!

    Outside Minas Tirith:
    WITCH KING: Good heavens. Are you still trying to win? You’ve got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It’s going to get you into trouble someday.
    EOWYN: Hello. My name is Eowyn. You killed my uncle. Prepare to die!
    […]
    EOWYN: I admit it, you are better than I am.
    WITCH KING: Then why are you smiling?
    EOWYN: Because I know something you don’t know.
    WITCH KING: And what is that?
    EOWYN: I am not a man!

    The Tower of Cirith Ungol:
    FRODO: Sam, I’ll tear your arms off.
    SAM: Oh, you mean this Ring.

    Oh, just go read the whole thing, won’t you?

    Is This A Kissing Book

  • Other Useful Callings

    In one of the many debates to be found raging in cyberspace about what the Founding Fathers “really intended” by way of separation of Church and State, I found this little chestnut:

    “The clergy, by getting themselves established by law, and ingrafted into the machine of government, have been a very formidable engine against the civil and religious rights of man. They are still so in many countries and even in some of these United States. Even in 1783, we doubted the stability of our recent measures for reducing them to the footing of other useful callings. It now appears that our means were effectual.”

    — Thomas Jefferson, 1800

    I just love that “other useful callings” bit, really. And then, of course, there’s this concise summation:

    “The government of the United States is not in any sense founded on the Christian religion.”

    — George Washington, Treaty of Tripoli

    In case anyone was wondering.

  • CoH Funny

    Found here, the following (which I’ve formatted for maximum humor output):

    Q: Why is soloing archvillians really a problem?

    A: Because it’s too expensive to buy a tour bus for each one. Anyway, “Tyrant and the Praetorians” just looks good on the album cover.

    Later on in that thread there’s a comment about the optimal slotting of one’s sense of humor that almost made me spit-take. But maybe that’s just me…

  • So where’s my Duke Nukem Forever?

    From this Slashdot entry’s commentary we get this amusing little gem:

    These are some of the things that happened between Debian releases:
    a) The Olympic games returned to Greece.
    b) The Pope died.
    c) A German Pope got elected in a conclave.
    d) Apple switched to Intel.
    e) Watergate’s Deep Throat identity was revealed.
    f) The French rejected the European Constitution
    g) Boston won the World Series.

    Never let it be said that the Debian maintainers are in anything resembling a hurry… and if you’re in a hurry for the latest-greatest but want that wonderful Debian flavor, may I recommend Ubuntu?

  • We won’t mention Ivanova’s huge… tracts of land.

    I can’t believe I’d never heard of Babylon Five’s Flying Circus. Where have I been all this time?

    SINCLAIR: One day John, all this will be yours.
    SHERIDAN: You mean the curtains?
    SINCLAIR: No, not the curtains. All that you can see. That will be your kingdom.
    SHERIDAN: But I don’t want any of that.
    SINCLAIR: Listen up, I built this space station up from nothing. All there was was space. All the captains said it was daft to build a station in space, but I built it all the same, just to show them. It blew up, so I built a second one. That one blew up. And a third one, and that one blew up. I built a fourth one, that one disappeared in time. But the fifth one stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get John, the strongest space station in these sectors.
    SHERIDAN: But I don’t want any of that. I’d rather…
    SINCLAIR: Rather what?
    SHERIDAN: I’d rather … just … SING!

  • Short, sweet, pointed.

    Ginerva’s got it goin’ on:

    Martyrdom is not selflessness.

    Go read the entry, and especially follow that first link within. Excellent stuff in there.

    Aw, hell, I’ll just give the link here, too: Conversational Terrorism. Don’t let it happen to you… and don’t take part in it! (For the record? Yeah, I’m guilty of any number of things listed on that page. I’m working on that, though…)

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