Category: Memes

  • I have needs!

    If Mari went jumping off a cliff, would I do it too? That depends, I suppose, but if she does a silly meme I’m almost duty-bound to follow suit. So, here you go. This is a lot like the “$Name is” Google thing from a while back, except this time it’s “$Name needs”. (Don’t forget the quotes.) The first ten result summaries that include the two words together are what you post. For instance:

    • There are many situations where Karel needs to repeat an instruction but it is not yet known how often. (Ain’t that the truth…)
    • Karel’s world is always bounded by walls along the edges, but the world may have different dimensions depending on the specific problem Karel needs to solve.
    • Karel needs a semi-colon to terminate instructions (;).
    • Assume that a robot named Karel needs to pick up a beeper and move, but if there is no beeper to pick up, he is to do nothing. (Yeah, yeah. When your namesake is responsible for giving us the word “robot” you get a lot of robot-related things named after him.)
    • Karel needs six weeks for this. (Whatever this is.)
    • Karel needs to get those documents and forms from the Seminary by June 3.
    • Karel needs to find it. (Whatever it is.)
    • The game said that Karel needs that person’s blood in order to transform into that person. (Uh, what?)
    • KAREL flew into the Bay Area today and experienced what he thought might be a terrorist, but the airline disagreed. (There’s a KAREL Show? Why was I not informed?)
    • Karel needs to travel East along the south wall of the city until it reaches the East side, at which point it will stop.

    And there you have it. Mind you, I left out one of the first ten entries that came up… but if you dig around a nearby website you could probably find it yourself…

  • Absurdly Massive Survey Thing

    In a radical, if short-lived, change of species from duck to sheep, I present the huge survey thing that others have already filled out

    [::] Basic Info [::]

    Your full name: Karel Peter Kerezman.

    Age: About the RPM of a normal LP record.

    Age you act: I like to say I’m “(my age) going on seventeen.” Sometimes it’s even true.

    Height: 5’8”

    Natural hair colour: Er, light brown?

    Hair colour: See above.

    Eye colour: Blue, or something.

    Number of siblings: 1, though there were a few years there when I had stepsiblings… *shudder*

    Glasses/contacts?: Neither, though arguably I should.

    Piercings: Nope

    Tattoos: Nope

    Braces?: Nope, though arguably… yadda yadda.

    Right, lefty or ambidextrous?: Right, unless I’m typing or… typing. Yeah. *cough*

    [::] Favorites [::]

    Colour: Depends on my mood. Could be grey, blue, green or black.

    Band: Genesis (and Peter Gabriel and Tony Banks), Pet Shop Boys, Midnight Oil, Vast, Jethro Tull, Toy Matinee (and the late-great Kevin Gilbert), and… well, I could go on and on.

    Song: Here’s an “of-the-moment” question, since the answer is likely to change by the day if not by the hour… but right now? ELO’s “Twilight,” because it’s stuck in my head after watching the Daicon IV opening video animation. Last hour it was Jethro Tull’s “Broadsword,” and before that I think it was Daft Punk’s “Da Funk”. And so on…

    Stuffed animal: My Ryo-ohki, of course! Followed by the pair of tigers that guard my computer monitors at home.

    Video game: (as the lovely Kyla said,) *cough* City of Heroes *cough*

    TV show: American TV? CSI, Daily Show, and the occasional Mythbusters. Japanese? Bleach, Suzuka, Okusama wa Mahou Shoujo and Futakoi Alternative. I’m looking forward to Mai Otome and a few others from the upcoming season, though.

    Movie: Princess Bride, Monty Python & The Holy Grail, Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind, and… well, so on and so on.

    Book: Raymond Feist’s “Riftwar” series and most of what comes after in that same world. Anne McCaffrey’s pern books… well, most of them. And Julian May’s “Intervention,” which in its way transcends the four-book series that preceeded it and the trilogy which it was designed mainly just to lead into.

    Food: Pizza, pasta, baby back ribs (why hast thou deserted us, Tony Roma?), steaks, omelettes, english muffins… okay, I like a lot of foods.

    Flower: I don’t have a favorite, sorry.

    Scent: Good food, or… well, that would be a bit personal.

    Animal: Avians mostly, from raptors to waterfowl. I like cats even though a lot of them make my lungs crud up and my nose itch.

    Cereal: Malt-o-meal. Go ahead and laugh.

    Website: Drop me a note and I’ll send you my bookmarks list, okay? Really, we do not have all day.

    [::] Do You [::]

    Play an instrument?: No, though I played alto sax in band, back in middle school. Scary, huh?

    Have a job?: Yes.

    Have a cell phone?: Yes, thanks to my job. Heh.

    Like to play sports?: You mean, the ones you play out-of-doors? Nope.

    Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: “A”? *chuckle*

    Have a crush on someone?: I’ve never understood that terminology. I mean, doesn’t being crushed sort of, you know, hurt quite a bit?

    Have any special talents/skills?: Making a pronouncement, fully secure in the knowledge that I’m absolutely right, only to have it proven wrong almost immediately.

    Excercise daily?: No, though I walk quite a bit in my daily commute.

    Like school?: Nope. Good thing I’m not in it, huh?

    Smoke: Not since the last time I was set on fire. Oh wait, that would be never…

    Cuss: Fluently and delightedly.

    Drink: Tea, root beer and juice, yes.

    Like to sing?: I love the sound of my own voice. Yes, I’m sure that amazes everyone who knows me. But… (see next question)

    Sing well: …I know that I sing poorly and it would be hypocritical of me to sing along with songs when I get on other people’s cases for doing it, ‘cause it annoys me. (It doesn’t matter if they’re a good singer, it still grates like nails on a chalkboard. I have no idea why.)

    Sing in the shower: No. Admittedly this is generally because I’m too groggy in the morning to remember more than a word or two of any given song. That, and (see above).

    Believe in yourself: Of course I exist. The question is, do I believe in you? Maybe you’re a figment of my fevered imagination. Have you ever considered that?

    Want to go to college?: I think about it from time to time, and then I remember that… oh yeah, I hated school.

    Want to get married?: Been there, done that, got the child support payments. (For the record, that’s humor. Relax. Wendi knows I’m kidding. *grin*)

    Want to have children?: I already do, so I guess that’s a fait accompli. (Look it up. Learning stuff is good for you.)

    Get along with your parents: It’s easy to get along with people you have almost no contact with.

    Get along with your siblings?: It’s easy to… oh wait, Sis is in contact again. Yay!

    Think you’re popular: Not as such, no.

    [::] Can you [::]

    Sing the alphabet backwards?: Er, why?

    Speak any other languages?: Perhaps this question should read “Converse in any other languages?” instead. To which my answer would be, “Nein.”

    Go a day without food?: I could stand to lose a few pounds, but if I miss two meals my body gives me hell for it.

    Stay up for more than 24 hours?: Barely, and rarely. Man, I’m getting old.

    Roll your tongue?: You mean, curl it into a tube-like shape? Sure. I can’t roll my R’s, though, and that annoys me to no end ‘cause you know, the chicks dig that stuff.

    [::] Have you ever [::]

    Snuck out of the house?: Whatever for?

    Stolen something important to someone else?: Hell no. Unless you count my best friend’s girlfriend. I ended up marrying the poor girl, even…

    Cried over a girl/boy?: Of course.

    Kissed a random stranger?: No.

    Hugged a random stranger?: No.

    Been in a fist fight?: Not since high school, which was long enough ago not to count anymore, I think.

    Been arrested?: Nope.

    Done drugs?: No, but I have a great story about the time I was offered drugs in an attempt to prevent carsickness…

    Had alcohol?: Yes, but only because my best friend Mitch’s little brother spiked the juice. We beat the crap out of him for it, once we were coherent again.

    Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?: Only the ones with numbers. Not, you know, the emergency button or anything like that.

    Kicked a guy where it hurts?: I don’t think I’ve hurt anyone in a fight, ever. Yes, I’m a loser.

    Been in love?: Yes!

    Broken a bone?: No, and if I knew what gods to sacrifice small animals to in order to remain unbroken, I’d do so.

    Gotten stitches?: I honestly don’t remember, so probably not.

    Bitten someone?: Yes, under varying circumstances…

    Been to Niagara Falls?: No, though I’d love to.

    Burped in someones face?: Ye gods, I hope not.

    Gotten the chicken pox?: I don’t think so…

    [::] When was the last time you [::]

    Last time you cried: Sunday morning.

    Last movie seen: That final Star Wars thing, I think. Well, in the theater. At home it was the Final Fantasy 7 movie on my living room computer. Man, that was cool. Guess which one had better fights?

    Last curse word said: The “F word.”

    Last time you laughed: A few minutes ago.

    Last phone call: “Would you like to take a survey?” Seriously, half the time my office phone rings it’s from The Gartner Group or some variant thereof.

    Last song you listened to: Something off of the Tsubasa Chronicle soundtrack, I think. Yuki Kajiura’s “A Song of Storm and Fire,” if I’m not mistaken. I think I’ll listen to it right now, just to make sure…

    Last annoyance: Needy salespeople.

    Last IM: A few minutes ago, as I write this portion of the survey-thing. I’m sure there’ll be more before I’m through…

    Last weird encounter: Having one of our geek-inclined salesfolks and one of our front desk gals in my office at the same time, two of us trying to explain Neopets to the other.

    Last person you hugged: One of my kids, preceeded by the other.

    Last person you yelled at: You know, I don’t remember? It must’ve been a while.

    Last time you’ve been evil: I’m the network administrator at my office. Evil is in the job description, baby.

    Last time you were sarcastic?: What do you mean? I’m never sarcastic. Ever.

    Last time you fought with your parents: Wow, there’s something that’s never happened. That requires having both parents present, doesn’t it?

    Last time you wished upon a star: I think it was late last week. I got my wish, too, oddly enough.

    [::] This or that [::]

    Pepsi/Coke: Root beer, preferably Henry’s or Thomas Kemper.

    Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate!

    Adidas or Nike: No?

    Black or white: I haven’t played chess in years…

    Rock or rap: Rock. (Ewww, rap.)

    TV or Movie: Yes. And then I’ll watch some anime, too.

    Cash or Check: I only use checks to pay rent and bills.

    Chinese food or Mexican food: Chinese, no doubt about it.

    Summer or Winter: Winter. You can always put on more clothes or get inside out of the cold, but beating the heat can be nigh-impossible. Gah.

    Snow or Rain: Rain.

    Fog or Mist: Now there’s a fine distinction… but yes to both, thanks.

    Hugs or Kisses: What’s this “or” nonsense?!?

    Cats or dogs: Cats.

    Winter Break or Spring Break: I’d rather nothing broke, thanks.

    Spring or Autumn: Autumn. Cooler days after the blistering heat, and the lovely colors of turning leaves.

    Clouds or Clear Sky: Some of each, preferably.

    [::] Friendship and Friends [::]

    How many friends do you have?: There’s a “quality over quantity” remark in there somewhere…

    Have you ever lost a friend?: Define “lost.” Lost like one’s keys? Lost like split up? Lost like dead? Throw me a bone, here… as it were.

    What’s an inside joke between you and a friend?: A joke that’s only funny to myself and said friend. Oh wait, you weren’t looking for the dictionary definition?

    Do you miss any of your old friends?: Yes. Often.

    Has a friend of yours ever died?: Ah, so that’s one variant of “lost” accounted for. And, yes. It was when I was barely a teenager, but still.

    What do you think your friends think of you?: That I’m worth having as a friend, I can only assume.

    Who is the Craziest: Wow, that’s a tough one. We’re all nutty in our own ways. Geoffrey’s the most macabre, but that doesn’t make him the craziest.

    Who is the Loudest: Mari wishes she could be, but it’s probably me.

    Who is the Most Shy: If it’s not the Twinlet, it’s probably me. I imagine Lilith used to be more shy than any of the rest of us, but she’s long since cured herself of that particular problem.

    Who is the Blondest: Great. Now I can’t think of any friends who are blondes. Figures.

    Who is the Smartest: Oh, wow. So you want me to pick one and possibly piss off all of the others? What kind of friend would that make me? (Besides, everyone knows I’m the smartest. Heh.)

    Who is the Kindest: Mari. She is absolutely the coolest person to have around when you really need help.

    Who has the Best Personality: Nuh uh. That’s an impossible question to answer. Go fish.

    Who is the Most Talented: And this question could get me into all kinds of trouble! I don’t think so!

    Who is the Best Singer: Wendi. (Finally, an easy question.)

    Drama Queen (or King XP): Everyone but Mari and Doug? *chuckle* (And what’s the “King XP” thing? I don’t get it…)

    Funniest: We’re all pretty damned funny. Geoffrey’s possessed of the quickest wit, especially if there are puns involved. Lyse and Lil’ both tell great funny stories. Mari does zany randomness better than anybody. The Twinlet wields snark for great justice. And me? I’m moderately clever with the wordplay and the stuff and such, donchaknow.

    Best person for advice: My advice for seeking advice (heh) is to get advice from more than one person. So there.

    Dependable: That’s a tough one. I haven’t had to “depend” on my friends for anything other than being my friend… and they’re all dependable for that or they wouldn’t be my friend anymore.

    Person you’ve known the longest: Out of the current immediate circle, not counting The Ex? That’d be Mari.

    [::] Ahh love, and all that [nonsense] [::]

    Have you ever been in love?: You’ve got an awfully short attention span, haven’t you?

    Are you single?: No, I’m siamese twins. (That’s a joke, kid. Laugh.)

    Do you believe there is someone for everyone?: Not as such, no. Not the way you mean it, anyway.

    What is your idea of the best date?: March 8, 1972. Oh, wait…

    How old were you when you got your first kiss?: I was 18, and we were standing in front of Dad’s apartment in St. Johns. I wonder what Megan’s up to these days…

    Do you think love is a load of [nonsense]?: Heck no. And what’s with the expletives all of a sudden?

    What’s the best experience you’ve ever had with the opposite sex?: Wuv. Twuu wuv. Sex is pretty good, too.

    [::] I [::]

    am: at work, waiting for the day to end so I can go out on a dinner date.

    want: enough money to provide for myself and my loved ones forever.

    need: food, clothing, shelter, gainful employment, love and affection.

    crave: tasty foodstuffs and good company.

    love: my children and a few other very special people.

    hate: as little as possible, ‘cause it’s not terribly healthy… though the current state of political affairs in this country is a contender for What I Hate Most.

    did: it, and I’m proud of it, so whatcha gonna do about it, huh?

    feel: a bit melancholy because of a certain circumstance but generally hopeful that things will work out, somehow.

    miss: the Twinlet.

    am annoyed by: a society dominated by sales-and-marketing.

    would rather: be hanging out with my friends.

    will always: remain true to myself and honest about my beliefs and values.

    am tired of: being forgotten on those rare occasions when manna falls from the Corporate heaven.

    [::] Do you think you are [::]

    funny?: Yes.

    pretty?: No.

    sarcastic?: No, never!

    lazy?: Yes, but laziness is the father of invention.

    hyper?: Rarely.

    friendly?: Yes.

    evil?: Sometimes.

    smart?: Sometimes.

    strong?: -willed, yes. Otherwise, maybe not so much. Certainly not physically.

    talented?: Depends…

    dorky?: Very much so.

    [::] Finally, What is/are? [::]

    Words you overuse: I try not to do that, though I’m sure it still happens. Bah.

    Phrases you overuse: See above.

    Your first thought when you wake up: Do I have to?

    Your greatest accomplishment: My children, though I’m still not sure what I actually did for them to turn out the way they have so far.

    Something you want to do: Travel.

  • I’ve got mad ninjinuity, y’all.

    According to The Cowboy-Ninja-Pirate-Knight Test, I am…

    a Ninja

    You scored 13 Honor, 2 Justice, 3 Adventure, and 5 Individuality!

    You are a soldier of the night. You rely on no more than your cunning and your reputation to strike fear in the hearts of lord and peasant alike. You’ve a sense of honor, but one that comes from within, not imposed from outside.

    Black clothes and shuriken for you. You’re gonna do just fine.

    How you compared to other people your age and gender:

    You scored higher than 97% on Ninjinuity
    You scored higher than 3% on Knightlyness
    You scored higher than 3% on Cowboiosity
    You scored higher than 46% on Piratical Bent

    I just love the word “Ninjinuity.” Really. Apparently I’m not very Knightly or Cowboious… or whatever that word would be. Hmm.

    All this because some guy who runs a game developer studio claimed to be a Ninja-Pirate. Go figure.

    By the way, my favorite answer was the last, to the question of how best to face my foes: “Sword in one hand, pistol in the other, cannon behind me for backup.” Heck yeah.

  • Another personality quiz, eh?

    In lieu of actually having something interesting to say, I present you with…

    #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### ####################################################
    Your personality type is SCUEI
    You are social, calm, moderately unstructured, moderately accommodating, and intellectual, and may prefer a city which matches those traits.

    The largest representation of your personality type can be found in the these U.S. cities: Washington D.C., St. Louis, Albuquerque/Santa Fe, Salt Lake City, W. Palm Beach, Tampa/St. Petersburg, Raleigh/Durham, Denver, Seattle/Tacoma, Minneapolis and these international countries/regions Slovenia, Israel, Czech Republic, Russia, Netherlands, Denmark, Argentina, Argentina, Ukraine, Romania, Norway, Croatia, Hungary, Turkey, Sweden

    What Places In The World Match Your Personality?
    Powered by CityCulture.org

    Whoah. Did you get all that?

    Apparently if I’d been a smidgen less extroverted and/or a smidgen more inquisitive, I’d actually have been in the right city, according to the full results page’s breakdown of which cities are “the most” for a given trait.

    Of course like all such quizzes it’s worth just about as much as the electrons it’s displayed with…

  • There’s something fishy about this.

    It’s not my fault. She made me do it. (And by “made me do it” I mean “put it on her site and took no further action to twist my arm,” naturally.)

    GreyDuck

    Angelfish

    Agility
    6
    | Strength
    8
    | Stamina
    3

    Battle Rating
    17

    Origins
    GreyDuck was purchased at a local Pet Store


    Can your fishy beat GreyDuck ?

  • 35 not-exactly-questions…

    Sarah seems to have struck gold with another spiffy one…

    1) My uncle once: dislocated my shoulder by energetically swinging me around. I went days without using my arm, until Mom finally noticed and asked me why I wasn’t using it. Suffer in silence much? Nah…
    2) Never in my life: have I sought happiness through recreational chemicals.
    3) When I was five: I told my mother that I was to be called “Carl” from that point on, because the real pronunciation of my name sounded too much to me like a girl’s name. It kind of still does, actually.
    4) High school was: moderately unpleasant, but for most of one year and part of another.
    5) Fire is: the best way to cook meat.
    6) I once saw: ash blanketing the small town I lived in.
    7) There’s this woman I know who: is hopelessly addicted to Neopets.
    8) Once, at a bar: I was thrown out because my state ID card had expired two years previously.
    9) By noon I’m usually: wondering if it’s time to go home yet.
    10) Last night: I was a good boy and resisted several urges to spend money.
    11) If I only had: told that girl I went to school with how I really felt.
    12) Next time I go to church: will be too soon, however far off it may be.
    13) The best thing about my last relationship was: more than just one thing. And even then, it depends on what you mean by “last relationship.” And… no, I don’t think I can narrow this down for you. Sorry.
    14) What worries me most: is that I’m going to hopelessly bungle… everything.
    15) When I turn my head left: I see the hallway outside my office through the nearly-ceiling-height window.
    16) When I turn my head right: I see the second monitor that’s attached to this workstation. Dual-head displays rock.
    17) You know I’m lying when: I’m clearly full of it.
    18) What I miss most about the eighties: is regular musical output from my favorite bands.
    19) If I were a character written by Shakespeare, I’d be: a comedic foil.
    20) By this time next year: I’ll have more money, more sex and more of a wardrobe, among other things.
    21) I have a hard time understanding: how Bush got re-elected.
    22) You know I like you if: I go out of my way to do nice things for you.
    23) If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: my kids, for helping make me the kind of person who doesn’t feel ashamed to accept awards.
    24) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: walk into a bar… except for Darwin, who ducks. Clearly, he’s the more-evolved one.
    25) Take my advice, never: assume that you know what a woman is thinking.
    26) My ideal breakfast is: corned-beef hash, eggs over-easy, hash browns, with a side of bacon and an english muffin.
    27) If you visit my hometown, I suggest you go to: NoHo’s for lunch or dinner, The Original Hot Cake House for breakfast, and the Rose Garden (no, not the arena, the one with actual roses) for the view. (Note: This is for values of “hometown” that equal “Portland, Oregon.” For other, childhood values of “hometown,” no valuable data is on file. Terribly sorry. Do come again.)
    28) Why doesn’t everyone: take a deep breath and agree to disagree about certain things?
    29) If you spend the night at my house: you’ll not want for entertainment options.
    30) I’d stop my wedding: as soon as the drugs wore off and I realized what was happening.
    31) The world could do without: bigots of any stripe. And mosquitos.
    32) My favorite blonde is: strawberry. Oh, you wanted a person?
    33) If I do anything well, it’s: a complete mystery to me.
    34) And by the way: I’m pretty good company, most days.
    35) The last time I was drunk, I: wasn’t even a teenager yet. Mitch and I just about killed his little brother when we realized that the kid had spiked our apple juice…