Dear Producers of the History Channel series, “Modern Marvels”:

Pack it up and go home. You’re done. There’s nothing left. The well is completely dry.

It’s funny I should mention wells, because the show I saw earlier tonight is the one which convinced me that you guys have totally run out of ideas. You started out with some interesting stuff, and later on I could tell you were reaching a bit, but I think with this one episode you’ve moved as far away from the original premise as possible.

In case nobody clued you in before now, please allow me. Water is not a modern marvel. It’s a great substance to be sure, with many marvelous properties worth describing in detail. Modern, however, it ain’t.

You’re done. Seriously. Give it up, move on to something better and brighter. Do it now. Please.