I’ve mentioned recently that I’ve always hated my teeth. For the past week or so, though, a couple of my teeth have been hating me right back. Well, that’s not entirely accurate. My teeth are in surprisingly good shape considering their lousy alignment. It’s my gums that are a total mess, largely due to the way my teeth are misarranged.

Wendi called to make an appointment with our usual dentist and was surprised to find that there was an opening this very day. Lucky me, wot? I was expecting it to be a quick exam followed by another appointment during which some work would get done.

Oh, no. Doctor Packham took one look at the infected area and said, “Why don’t we just take care of that right now?” An hour, several anaesthetic injections and a fair dose of discomfort later, I’m cured. And in a growing amount of pain. (C’mon, Vicodin!) It’s funny that my teeth and gums are hurting like hell but my upper lip still won’t obey simple instructions. Well, not “funny ha ha” like a night at Harvey’s Comedy Club would be…

Did I mention that tonight we’re all supposed to go to Harvey’s? Mari and Doug, Lilith and Geoffrey, Wendi and I. If the painkillers kick in and I regain control of my face in time, I will go. I’m going to be uncomfortable anyway, I might as well have a good laugh in the process. Besides, we put too much effort into inviting all our friends to bail out at the last minute just because I’m feeling a bit tender.

The word you’re looking for is “masochist.” Thanks.

I may not beat Mari to this, but it’s worth a shot.

So the six of us did all manage to see the show at Harvey’s tonight. I had enough chemicals in me to stave off pain in addition to addling my little grey cells. After slurping down our $3.00 glasses of ice (with a bit of Sprite for flavoring), Wendi and I waited with Mari, Doug, Lilith and Geoffrey for the chance to be seated right next to the exit door and close enough to the stage to guarantee being picked on at least once during the show.

Lucky me. The first comic, James P. Connolly, was one of those who enjoys interacting with audience members, and there must’ve been something about me that appealed to his sense of… well, I’m not sure what it was exactly, though “sadism” comes to mind.

“What’s your name?”
“Carl.” (I wasn’t about to say “Care-Ell,” now was I?)
“Nope. For the rest of the evening you shall be… d’Artagnan.”
“Ooookay.”
(later…)
“What do you do for a living, d’Artagnan?”
“Computer stuff.”
“Stuff? You don’t have a job, do you?”
“Yes I do.”
“Okay. You get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, head out the front door and go… where?”
“To a place with lots of computers.”

Yes, I know. I could have talked up the fact that I work in radio. Much comedic mileage in there, for certain. I blame my stupidity on the Vicodin. At least, that’s my convenient excuse for today.

Anyway, he came back to me (as it were) about a half dozen more times during his set, usually in reference to how someone else was cooler than me. Or for something like this:

“…there’s one thing every guy wants from a woman. What is that, d’Artagnan?”
“Only one thing?”
“C’mon, what’s the one thing you want from a woman?”
“Love.”
“You are a spineless wuss!”
” (shrug) “

Truth be told, it was quite a bit of fun. My only regret is that my brain wasn’t awake enough to try to throw the guy any curve balls to see what he’d do. He was certainly clever enough.

My friends… my dear, dear friends… had quite a ball as I gamely fielded jabs and questions from Mr. Connolly. Mari insists that I’m no longer Her Internet Hero or Lil’s Number One (Internet) Fanboy.

I am now… d’Artagnan.

Please note that there are precisely six people on the planet to whom I will actually respond if called this, one of whom I’ll probably never meet again (thanks, James P. Connolly). If you are not one of those six people, don’t bother trying out my new nickname. I will ignore you. Nothing personal, you understand, it’s just that you had to be there.
Harvey’s Comedy Club

Today marked the regional grade-school level chess tournament, held at Robert Gray Middle School at 9:00 this morning. Grout Elementary’s team included both of the Kerezman rugrats.

After six rounds of competition, Alex and Erica each had 4.5 points (though one of Erica’s full points was a “buy”), helping Grout to place second in the team standings. We’d been third overall after the fifth round, which would have meant not being able to send a team to the state finals. Almost every team member turned in a win or draw in the last round, however, so it looks as though the Grout team will see one more tournament this season.

And there’s a chance both of my “young-uns” will be there.

Some tidbits from the day:

• While Alex has certainly gotten the hang of losing gracefully, he’s now needs to learn to keep a poker face when he’s ahead of the game. Clapping your hands together in glee as your opponent is ground under your heel is generally considered bad form.
  
• As we learned last time out, Erica performs best when her blood sugar levels are appropriately raised. We packed snack food and still ended up running to Safeway for some meatier fare. It worked, though, didn’t it?
  
• Wendi took pictures with the Yashica. If they ever make it into digitized form, they’ll end up in the Gallery. In three weeks I get my camera, so the next event will appear in said Gallery nigh-immediately after it happens.
  
• Robert Gray Middle School is located close enough to the Stonehenge (KGON) tower that I could easily pick out small antennas on even the uppermost platform. Call me strange, but I actually spent a portion of my day doing just that. I’ve always felt an emotional attachment to that big ugly tripod.
  
• Wendi and I went for a “real food” run to Safeway during the fourth match. Here’s a note to grocery store managers: Do not, please, staff the one and only “express” lane with an eighty year old woman who has failing eyesight, no clue how to fill a paper bag and a propensity towards banging objects against the scanner. (We asked for paper. After stuffing the object in her hands into the oh-so-convenient plastic anyway she then put the plastic into a paper bag… and then set the paper bag aside. That’s right, one object per bag. Incredible. Wendi spent thirty seconds before we left putting everything into one paper bag.) I also offer a special “thank you” to the feeb who brought a big stack of coupons through the “express” lane. Yeah.

So what did you do with your Saturday, huh?