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Looking For Quacks In The Pavement

Author: Karel Kerezman

  • 109 Carnivals (and counting)

    Once again Jack Cluth has been given leave (of his senses?) to host the Carnival of the Vanities. And once again I was invited to participate. Being the indecisive (and unproductive) git that I am, I sent him a couple of recent posting options to use (rather than creating something fresh and cool). I gave him the option of opting out… but the poor sod actually decided to include me anyway, in spite of my glaring lack of interesting output.

    Luckily he buried me far enough down in the (massive!) list that I doubt anyone will find me. That’s some consolation, anyway.

    Oh, fine, you just want the link. Go ahead on, folks, and enjoy.

    Carnival of the Vanities #109

  • Weekend Trip North

    I went north again this past weekend to spend some time with that delightfully snarky woman I’m so attached to.

    Actually, let me back up. I spent Thursday night over at the kids’ place since Wendi and Erica were out camping (I don’t remember if it was a school or church thing… hmm?) and Alex was otherwise going to be left alone. Can’t have a lonely Spud, can we? So he and I got to have some fun boy-bonding time (gaming and other geekery fueled by pizza). Half the time I’m over visiting at the apartment it’s as if I’m not there, since the kids are absorbed in what they’re doing, so it was nice to have an evening where I really got to interact with at least one of my beloved rugrats.

    Anyway. The trip. I brought presents up, this time: A new video card and power supply for her compy. Once those were installed (not without some minor fuss… nothing’s ever easy, is it?) we also went and picked up this year’s gaming addiction of choice. While we were out anyway, we also did some clothes shopping. See, I’m sort of light on wearable shirts lately. It probably has something to do with the fact that I only shop once every few years. Go ahead and roll your eyes, folks.

    We ended up at the mall, where I found several shirts I actually liked the fit and color of. Since someone put their foot down about who was paying for what, I also (later) picked up a new pair of shoes. (My beloved Rockports were finally becoming completely unwearable… not bad for two years or so of good use.)

    The train was half an hour late getting out of Seattle, which meant we got to stand around in the cold and damp on the train platform at Tukwila. Bleah. We did get to see a rainbow, though, and that’s got to count for something. I mainly mention the train ride down on account of the in-trip movie, which I at first tried to ignore and then got sucked into far enough that for the first time I actually plugged my headphones in and listened.

    De-Lovely is an odd, odd piece. It’s a fanciful biopic of Cole Porter as played by Kevin Kline (who you recognize mostly by voice since his looks are considerably altered for the role). The movie is stylized and occasionally nutty, but also at times bitterly poignant. If you’re at all interested in Jazz Age stylings, you should check this one out.

    And now you’re up to date on my life. Exciting, ain’t it?

  • Yes, I’m still here.

    I’m still alive. I had a very nice weekend, nothing major has happened in the negative side of things recently, I just sort of fell offline for a few days.

    Content to come, really. Honest. Would I lie to you? Well, to your face, anyway?

  • More stuff that makes you think twice.

    And in case you were considering taking on writing as an occupation, perhaps you should think it through carefully:

    Publishing is a business. Say that out loud. Even the chief commissioning editor at a publisher is unlikely to be able to run to you with a contract wriggling excitedly in her hands on her say so alone. The question asked of manuscripts in publishing houses the world over is not, ‘Is this good?’ but, ‘Will this sell?’ I’m not saying you should ‘write to be commercial’. Quite apart from the fact that I’d rather not write at all than write stuff I didn’t like just because I thought it’d be popular (and so should you – or why write in the first place? If you’re not doing it for the love of the thing itself, then you’d be better off getting far more money and far less grief working in conveyancing instead), it’s almost certainly doomed to look like nothing but terribly-forced tosh written because the author thought it’d be commercial.

    […]

    The Internet. Writing for the Internet is entirely different to writing a novel. Also, anything decent you put on the Net will get stolen. Fact. So, if you think you can do a Webpage that will give you some kind of profile, fair enough; but regard it in the same way as you would running naked across the White House lawn as a way of getting publishers to take notice of you. Putting your novel online in the hope that someone will pick it up is doomed for so many reasons that it would wear out my knuckles to sit here typing them all.

    […]

    Don’t introduce eighteen characters and twelve vital plot points in the first twenty pages. Yes, spy and fantasy authors, I’m looking at you. Readers can retain only about four characters and two or three ‘things’ in their heads until they’ve really had a chance to get into the book. Bombard them with more than that and they don’t simply forget the rest: they mentally collapse due to information overload and lose track of everything.

    There’s more, but only if you’re serious about it. Or just want a good laugh, because most of it is moderately funny while also being insightful and informative. (Sheesh, I’m describing the document in terms of Slashdot comment moderation. Somebody shoot me now.)

    So, who’s (still) up for NaNoWriMo, eh? Bwahahahaha…

    Mil Millington on Writing

  • Ain’t corruption fun?

    Well, isn’t this interesting?

    Employees of a private voter registration company allege that hundreds, perhaps thousands of voters who may think they are registered will be rudely surprised on election day. The company claims hundreds of registration forms were thrown in the trash.

    Anyone who has recently registered or re-registered to vote outside a mall or grocery store or even government building may be affected.

    I especially like this little factoid: “Another source said the company has now moved on to Oregon where it is once again registering voters.”

    Link via This Modern World. Gee, I love modern politics, don’t you?

  • On Heels

    I simply couldn’t go to sleep until I posted this. Argh. You know how that goes, don’t you?

    *sound of crickets chirping*

    Right. Okay then. So here’s something that bothers me about women’s fashion: High heels. Sure, they can (sometimes) make a gal’s leg look sexier, but that only works until she starts moving unless she knows how to actually walk gracefully in heels. And too many women who wear heels, don’t.

    What surprises me is that nobody tells any of these ladies that clumping along in heels only makes them look like unhappy robots, not sexy femmes fatale. I’m not kidding. I’m downtown almost every day, standing at the bus stop with little better to do than people-watch, and about half of the people I see are women. (Imagine that, eh?) Of those, close to half are wearing high-heeled shoes of some sort… and many of them are walking with a kind of stilted, uncomfortable gait that says louder than words, “Damn I hate these heels.”

    So here’s my advice to any women who might stumble across this posting. If you’re not absolutely comfortable wearing high heels, don’t. Put on some more comfortable shoes and enjoy walking normally and naturally. Believe me, you’ll look a helluva lot more appealing, and be a lot more comfortable into the bargain!

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