I should’ve known better than to get my hopes up at the “job offer” email I received yesterday.

We have found your resume at www.monster.com.

Sigh. Apparently the only people who’ve done so up to this point are weasels.

And We would like to suggest you a position at our company – the Transfer Manager.

And I would like to suggest that you jump off a cliff, or possibly go play in traffic.

The task of the Transfer Manager is to process payments between our clients and our company via checks, bank wire transfers,Money Orders.

Oh, this doesn’t sound even remotely suspicious, does it? This is the sentence that set off the rest of my mental alarms. You’re hiring a bunch of people (you say there are 5 positions open) to perform transactions? Aren’t there, you know, professional and secure financial services and what-not for this kind of thing? What’s wrong with using those? And what sort of people are willing to do business with you in this fashion? Do I not even want to know?

Maybe I’m just paranoid. It’s possible that I’m reading too much into this. Maybe.

The job is related to remote Internet operations.

I’m not entirely certain that this sentence even parses.

Every payment order will be accompanied with detailed instructions.

I should hope so.

It’s a commission based position. You will get about 8% of each processed payment.

I shudder to think what your markup is, then, if you can afford to shrug off that much of a given payment.

There’s more, but I won’t bore my readership. Suffice to say that it’s a “work at home” position that will supposedly grant me “financial independence” and “high self-esteem” even though “prior customer service experience is a good benefit, but not a must.”

Don’t call me, folks. I’ll call forget you.

This morning I found out via email (because not many people have my new number) that my grandfather, Mom’s dad, passed away late last week. For all that this wasn’t exactly unexpected at some point this year, it still hit me pretty hard… and I think I’m glad I didn’t find out via the phone. I wouldn’t have had anything meaningful (let alone intelligible) to say at the time, and after two months of job hunting I’ve just about had my fill of awkward interaction with human beings.

I spent the day playing games on the computer, talking about game stuff with friends during the evening, and playing a card game to round out the night. This isn’t because I shrugged off the news and blithely moved on; I needed to divert my brain for a few hours or risk entering one hell of a fugue state.

You know, again.
(more…)

“So, Karel, the meme thing was kinda cute, but how are you feeling? What’s going on?”

The cold is on its last legs… or flagella, or whatever. I still get coughing fits, including a long string of them Wednesday afternoon and evening that cost me quality time with my children. Did I mention that a week and a half has passed since I last visited with them? Yeah.

I did some of what I used to call “side work” yesterday evening, and for the most part I think it went well. My desire to own a Mac goes down every time I have to fight Apple’s absurd notions of what one should and shouldn’t do with one’s own systems and data, though. Anyway, that money added to my “unenjoyment” for the week will cover my rent and utilities quite nicely, thank you.

So far during this two and a half months of job searching I’ve only scored the one interview, and as I suspected I didn’t get the job. Also, two days ago I took a call about a possible job position that I am absolutely perfect for… but for one minor (to me) quibble: I can’t drive and don’t own a car. Yesterday, my “alarm clock” call consisted of confirmation that there’s no way I could get the job. Waking up to that put me into one hell of a funk for the rest of the day; only stubborn pride and professionalism got me through the hours I spent “working” in the evening.

Did I mention that I would’ve been perfect for that job? Groupwise support, eDirectory/LDAP, mixed environment, I could go on and on. Damn. To three I bring the count of “gotchas” I’ve run into with each and every job opening I’ve tried for. They always require either a driver, a mid-to-high-level programmer, or a database guru. I’m none of those things, and I wouldn’t dare trying to fake ’em.

So, all in all, I’m… hanging in there, albeit barely sometimes. This is why I’m not in a sales position nor am I a published writer, folks: I don’t handle perpetual rejection well. Even so, I’m not even being actively rejected so much as ignored, for the most part. Quick, name two things that will quickly drag down a sensitive, attention-seeking guy like myself!

I spend the first part of every weekday doing the job hunt (and stop when I’ve exhausted the possibilities presented by the resources at my disposal), but with the rest of my time I rarely do anything of note. I have all of this “free time” and yet my long-delayed pet projects and hobbies are sorely neglected. I did get the kids’ anime-viewing multimedia PC working again, but that’s the bulk of what I’ve accomplished in the past month. Sad, huh?

That said, there are bright spots and things to be grateful for. The kids are generally happy and healthy. My relationships are in as good of shape as I could ever hope for under the circumstances. (I’m the weak link in all cases right now; while I have an excuse, I don’t want to rely on excuses, you know?) I still have a roof over my head, at least as long as the money holds out. I’d say “I have my health” if this stupid cold would just go away for good.

And I’m still able to dredge up a respectable semblance of cheer and energy when a job prospect actually generates some kind of two-way communication. My future depends on my ability to do so. “Fake it ’til you make it,” indeed.