Author: Karel Kerezman

  • Let sleeping ducks something-or-other.

    We went to the Hillsboro public library for an all-staff photo shoot. I took a picture, too:

    image

    These ducks were still asleep, though. I was so jealous…

  • Technical Versus Management Problems

    While searching for a way to make MediaMonkey write “now playing” data into Lync 2010’s “What’s happening today” note field (clearly, this is critical work-related tinkering) I ran across a link to an argument with someone trying to solve a problem the wrong way. To illustrate, I’d like to tell a short story about one of my proudest moments in my previous job. It wasn’t a particularly cunning software or hardware implementation, but rather it was finding common ground with management regarding a problem user.

    One of the sales managers at Entercom came to me one day and asked me to find a solution to the problem of a new account rep hire who spent all day on ESPN’s website, among others, checking box scores when he should’ve been writing proposals and making calls. We discussed firewall settings, the pros and cons of various “nanny” software packages, and at the end I politely pointed out that what we were trying to do was to use technology to solve a management problem. The loose nut behind the keyboard was the actual problem, and all I’d be doing is giving him hurdles to jump over on his way toward continuing to goof off.

    The manager thought about that for a minute, then agreed that he’d first try direct conversation with the hire, followed by disciplinary action if needed, then come to me for the “firewall fix” only if the other steps failed.

    Within a few weeks the new hire was a new fire.

    I feel good about this story, not because I avoided any technical heavy lifting but because I was able to communicate effectively with someone from a whole other world (sales) about the limitations and relevance of technology as applied to personnel issues. As a side-benefit, my working relationship with that particular sales manager improved considerably because I was able to give him the tools to solve a problem even though I didn’t actually deploy any software or hardware. We were on the same page, and that’s what mattered.

  • This is what happens when I have this kind of toy.

    See, the moment I realized that I have two devices with front-facing cameras you just know what came next…

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    This is the sort of thing which guarantees that I will never be one of the cool kids. Oh well.

  • Vendor Support Hell

    There’s nothing quite like opening a new support ticket with a software vendor, providing all the details they normally ask for right up front, including a ZIP archive of all the pertinent diagnostic logs, and getting back a response which is the tech-speak equivalent of, “So when did you stop beating your wife?”

    Which is, I suppose, preferable to the other vendor I have a ticket open with right now who haven’t touched any of our tickets in almost a month. No response, no activity, no fix, nothing.

    If we treated our clients like this we’d be out of business.

  • A snark opportunity in every drop.

    One of the joys associated with getting over a head cold is that of sucking down cough drops like they’re Easter candy. (Wait, is Easter coming up? Maybe I need some chocolate eggs…) I bought a bag of Halls cough drops months ago during my last cold outbreak but only this week did I notice something a bit… silly… about the wrappings.

    “A PEP TALK IN EVERY DROP ™”

    Yes, like so many companies afflicted with a bad case of “savvy marketing,” Halls have stuck little motivational blurbs onto the wrapper of each individual lozenge. Isn’t that adorable?

    “You can do it and you know it.”

    You can dance if you want to. You can leave your friends behind. Especially the friends who are hacking up a lung because they’re suffering a cold.

    “Be unstoppable.”

    I’m more likely to be Ron Stoppable at this point.

    “You’ve survived tougher.”

    Tougher what? Could you vague that up a bit for me?

    “Push on!”

    Shove off.

    “Inspire envy.”

    While I’m sniffling, sneezing, and horking every few minutes, I might turn people a bit green but it won’t be with envy, I assure you.

    “Don’t give up on yourself.”

    Don’t quit your day job.

    “Put your game face on.”

    I guess that depends on the game. Settlers of Catan? Borderlands 2? Game of Thrones?

    “Don’t waste a precious minute.”

    Fear not: I only waste the worthless minutes, the ones nobody really liked or wanted anyway. Screw them.

    And my personal favorite:

    “Turn ‘can do’ into ‘can did’!”

    NO. THAT ISN’T EVEN GOOD GRAMMAR. SHUT UP. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT *froth* *rage* *cough* *wheeze* *reaches for a cough drop*

    … well played, Halls. Well played.

     

    (Addendum: Another cough drop, another head-to-desk moment.)

    “Don’t try harder. Do harder!”

    That’s what she said.

  • ABC – Beauty Stab

    I don’t share musical sensibilities with very many people. It’s not that I’m a hipster with ridiculously obscure tastes, mind you. My library contains mostly recognizable names, though sometimes it’s a case of “a leading artist in their narrow niche.” Taken as a whole, however, you’re unlikely to find any single person who would agree about much more than half of my four-or-five-star selections.

    With that said, over the last couple of years Wonderduck and I have found considerable congruity in what kind of music makes us sit up and take notice. I sent him a USB-stick sampler as a Yule present a few months ago, and he occasionally links me something via email that he thinks I might get a kick out of. It’s not always spot-on, but I trust his tastes enough that I’m always willing to at least give it a listen.

    A while ago he commented on a Quacked Panes comic about artists who went in a different direction from their norm and how that tends to earn the ire of their fanbase. His example was ABC’s second album, “Beauty Stab.”

    ABC made their mark with the kind of early-80s synthpop that I grew up on, so I was already somewhat familiar with the band. What I’d not been aware of was that for their sophomore record they chose to go in a more rock-n-roll, guitar-and-bass direction. They were, of course, both pilloried and ignored for this choice. From then on they went back to making electronic pop music like everyone wanted them to.

    And with that one might be tempted to pass up “Beauty Stab” because, hey, it’s clear that this wasn’t what they were good at, so why bother? This is a temptation one should resist. Turns out, ABC actually did a good job posing as a straight-up rock band.

    Okay, so it’s not like they made a Black Sabbath record all of a sudden. It’s still pop-rock, there are still synths, and it’s all very bright and upbeat with a couple of notable exceptions. As a style experiment, however, it really does work. Standout tracks include the lead-off “That Was Then But This Is Now,” “The Power of Persuasion,” “King Money” and the groovy, naughty “Unzip.” I love how “That Was Then…” leads off with gentle synths as if you were about to get an electronica record, then the guitar and drums kick in. Gotcha!

    Never mind that this is another lead-off track with a certain amount of “meta” built in. “I guess you’ve changed / you’ve changed but how.” It reminds me a bit of the new Soundgarden album’s lead track which basically says, “Yes, we’re back, whatever, deal with it.”

    One big surprise for me on this record is a very quiet track that I just can’t get enough of, “By Default By Design.” It’s absolutely gorgeous and almost justifies the album price all by itself. Your mileage may vary, but alongside four four-star tracks this one’s the five-star selection for me.

    Those are just the standouts to me; there’s not a bad track on the album, just songs that don’t grab me quite as much as the others. By all means, if you have a few dollars to throw at your preferred music vendor, you could do worse that to pick up this little gem from the early 1980s, a bygone time that shaped so much about who I am and what I like. I wonder what I would’ve thought of this album had anyone played it for me back then…