I was in the shower the other morning and for the first time in the years I’ve been using the stuff decided to actually read the instructions on my bottle of Senscience shampoo.

Now, most of the instructions are fairly normal, but one of the things they want me to do seems… odd. Let me show you. (My commentary is parenthetical.)

DIRECTIONS: Wet hair thoroughly. (Okay, I’m with you so far.) Apply shampoo. (To the hair, I assume?) Lather well and rinse. (Gotcha.) Repeat if necessary. (It never has been, but I’ll keep that in mind.) Available exclusively at fine salons. (You said WHAT? You want me to get out of the shower right now, head to my nearest “fine salon” and buy a bottle of something I already have? Dripping wet naked? Are you people insane?)

See what I mean?

For the record, that last instruction is clearly before the paragraph break, and it shows up at the end of each language’s set of instructions. “Exclusif aux meilleurs salons,” and also “De venta exclusivamente en finos salones de belleza.” I am not making this up, as Dave Barry is wont to say. Bizarre, I tell you.