(Recovered from the old Zero journal, original post date 26 August 2001)

We’re a perverse lot, we humans. We can be shown and told repeatedly what is the best way to do a thing. We can be warned over and over again about things we shouldn’t be doing. We can be fully indoctrinated into popular social tenets of Right and Wrong. For some reason, it doesn’t seem to matter. We always want what we can’t have. We especially want what we’re not supposed to want to have.

I’m not even talking about sex here, though that obviously has a place in the discussion. Today I went through a six-pack of Henry’s. No, I don’t drink alcoholic beverages. This was Henry Wienhard’s Vanilla Cream soda. Yum. Henry’s root beer is good stuff, but I prefer the Thomas Kemper for that particular beverage. But in the cream-soda arena (if there is such a thing) Henry’s is champion.

(Grammatical side-note here: I’m trying to pay more attention to my writing skills. I caught myself about to say “Henry’s is king” but realized that “champion” fits in better with the “arena” metaphor. You should feel damned fortunate to have such a caring writer disclosing his mind unto you.)

So what’s wrong? I made up my mind some few months ago that I wouldn’t indulge in a lot of carbonated beverages anymore. I’m supposed to be drinking juices and especially lots of good old water. Yeah, right. So much for knowing what is right and sticking to it. At the first chance to enjoy some sweet fizzy liquid I gulp down all six bottles in a single afternoon. Shame on me. (They tasted really, really good though. And on a hot day like this…)

I suppose this episode pretty well sums up this one particular part of my psyche. Leadeth me not unto temptation, for I am perfectly goddamned capable of finding it on my own. Couple that with my innate laziness, and you start wondering how I’m able to get anything at all accomplished. Self-improvement? Too much bloody damned work. I’d yearn for a pill that would make my body leaner and stronger, but I loathe drugs.

Maybe that’s the real problem… desire coupled with laziness. I’ll leave that for someone smarter than myself to ponder. Me? I’m all out of Henry’s, so I guess I’ll go pour a glass of water. Bottoms up, friends.