As I’m gearing up for what I expect to be another one-pick-goes year of The Dead Pool, I decided to sign up for the Celebrity Death Beeper. Now, I’m not the most superstitious person I know, but this has to be a good sign:

Welcome to the Celebrity Death Beeper family!
You are family member #11,711.

Whoah, Nelly! That’s not only a bunch of lucky numbers, but it’s also a palindrome! This must be my year.

Right? *cough, cough* Right?