One of the subject lines in my “probable spam” email folder advertised something called “Soft Viagra.” Sure, it’s not hard to figure out what they’re talking about, but did they really think things through before calling it that?

Maybe I should go into the consulting business. “Hire me! I’ll give your new product a once-over before you go public, with an eye toward preventing glaringly obvious faux pas and double entendres! Stop being the laughingstock of intelligent people!”

Hmm. I might be onto something.

Here’s the thing: I, like so many geeklings, have self-esteem issues. This hardly makes me unique. In fact, part of my problem in that arena is my lack of uniqueness. I’ve written whined about this before, of course, but it bears mentioning here because coming to grips with the fact that I’m not demonstrably, markedly better than everyone else in some fashion is one of the keys to accepting who I am. (And dammit, it’s tough. I want to be exceptional in some useful fashion. I want not just to be good at something, but damned good. I’m not, unfortunately.)

The technique I most often use to deal with my feelings of inadequacy is humor, mostly in the form of pointed barbs at my own expense. I’m quite good at it. In fact, I’m so good that I sometimes find myself in the strange position of being angry at myself so I make a joke at my own expense that’s so funny it makes everyone around me laugh, then everyone cringes apologetically because they realize they’re laughing at my pain, and so I have to absolve them of their guilt. After all, I did say something funny, so it’s natural for them to laugh! (An odd side-effect of this experience is that it takes me “out of myself” in the process, so I’m then less angry at myself. Weird, huh?)

I may not be in the “stand up comedian” class of funny guys, but I’m not a complete slouch, either. This actually presents me with a challenge when it comes to handling my foibles and failings. My knee-jerk reaction is to joke about it, but that’s not helping anything. Is it? Okay, maybe the ability to laugh about it can help, but not the way I normally go about it. A challenge for me, then, is to find ways to express my frustration through the humor I’m so attuned to without turning it into a jab at myself. It’s a neat trick if I can pull it off, eh?

Not to say that if I stop making jokes at my own expense I’ll stop facing so many bouts of depression, but every little bit helps.
(more…)

I first read about the apparent backlash against the greeting, “Happy Holidays,” on This Modern World a while ago. I figured it to be a stupid talk-radio thing that would go away in a matter of days, if not hours. But no, apparently people are still talking about it.

I’m the sort of guy who gets incensed at the kneejerk political correctness we’re inundated with nowadays. It’s not as though colloquial language can’t use a touch of sensitivity, but as with any good idea there are bound to be nutjobs who take it as their moral duty to carry that idea to extremes. (I’m reminded of a tagline: “Death to all fanatics!”) If you want to come after me for not saying “Merry Christmas,” however, there are a couple of things you must first consider.

First, I say “Happy holidays” because during this stretch of time we have a variety of holidays which stem from a number of religious and/or spiritual traditions, from the ancient rites of Solstice and Yule all the way down to Gregorian-calendar excuses-for-partying like New Year’s Day. When you don’t know which specific holiday or combination of holidays a person is going to celebrate, the sensible thing to do is convey one’s well-wishes in broad enough terms that they can interpret it in the best possible light. I’m not about to say “Happy Kwanzaa” to a devout Catholic, but there aren’t very many people whose religious affiliation I know well enough to make that sort of judgement call…. and anyone I know that well already knows the second thing I’m asking you to consider.

I’m not religious. I’m not going to put Christmas forth as the centerpiece of the so-called “holiday season” because it’s not something I celebrate in my heart as a spiritually meaningful event. I don’t celebrate any of the others, either, so don’t think I’m specifically anti-Christmas. I simply do not attach significance to the date other than as a day on which I have an excuse to buy my kids and other loved ones nifty presents. (Mind you, this year and last saw most of the gift-giving take place in late November, to coincide with Dawn’s availability to visit and, thus, enjoy watching people open presents. It’s the giving, not the getting, dammit.) If that makes me a filthy godless materialist bastard, so be it, although I’m pretty sure my parents were in fact married when I was born. Oh, and I bathe daily. The “godless materialist” part, though, I’ll cop to.

And lest you think I’m a bitter old fart, let me now wish you all, on the left-wing and the right-wing, Christian and Pagan and what-have-you-else, a very happy holiday season. May the weeks ahead be filled with naught but joy and love.

Happy holidays!

Today was the first torrentially rainy day of autumn. It didn’t get anyone’s mood down, really, but it did seem to bring productivity to a standstill. That got me thinking. We talk about things we’ll do “on a rainy day.” But when that day comes, what do we really do? We rest. We veg. We putter.

I’d be hard-pressed to name anything I actually accomplished today. That’s not something I’m terribly proud of, mind you. I read webcomics, including a sizable chunk of the Queen of Wands archives. I played Neopets, including some good high scores at Sutek’s Tomb… for myself and one of my coworkers, no less. It wasn’t much better when I got home. We had microwaved leftovers for dinner, watched anime, played computer games and now we’re all headed for bed.

Of course tomorrow and the days immediately after will also be rainy days, technically speaking. Rain is what we get in the Pacific Northwest, and I’m quite fond of the rain for giving us so much wonderful greenery all the year ‘round. Tomorrow, however, I’ll be getting things done. Not because it’s a rainy day. Tomorrow will just be another, ordinary day.

Maybe that first big rainy day after a long stretch of sunshine is our cue from the world to slow down for a moment; it’s our time to change gears, at least for one day.

That’s certainly a more appealing notion than saying that we’re all a lazy bunch of louts who took today as an excuse to goof off, no?