According to The Spark’s Gender Test (thank you again, J-Mo), “You are definitely a man!”

How do we know? Well, deep down, your gender affects everything about you, from your favorite number to your views on Canada. Many men who took the test think and act just like you, as you can see…

Statistically speaking, you are a dude.

As we said, this test gets smarter with every taker, and it’s almost never wrong.

Which doesn’t really explain Jen’s results, now does it?

Found via J-Mo, I took the Untelligence Test.

The Test Results Are In!

“You kick ass.”

You have a knack for greatness. For the record, you are 71% Un-telligent which is significantly higher than the current average of 60%.

Here is the custom report of your personality that led our team of geeks to conclude (with confidence) that you are resourceful, sly, and guaranteed to get away with everything:

“Interesting. While the subject shows a very high level of intelligence, his sense of observation is somewhat below average. We attribute this to the egotistical nature of the subject. Actually, rats behave in the same manner, but he’s smarter than any animal.

“Also, as much as we hate violence, an occasional mauling is one way to solve day-to-day problems like unpleasant coworkers or pesky door-to-door salesmen; he just isn’t tough enough, sir, and he avoids any solution that involves violence.

“Finally, the subject displayed a healthy (better than most net freaks anyway) sense of humor, a down and dirty sense of morality, and a barbaric self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals.”

Yeah, that’s right, I kick ass…

IN MY MIND! Har har.

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Test

The results page goes on to add,

Your mean type is a better predictor of how you generally act whereas your main type reflects how you prefer to act. By analogy, if you were a bus with nine different possible drivers, your main type is the most frequently used driver (which suggests you prefer that behavior/driver) but your mean type represents the sum influence of all nine drivers. Another way to look at it is that your mean type reflects where you are overall in the evolutionary race and your main type reflects the direction you are most often choosing to move in (if it’s higher than your mean type you are moving forward, otherwise you are moving backward or nowhere). Most Enneagram books and tests focus on main type and use an additional “variant” classification to account for the influence of the other eight behavior types (drivers). Based on your test results your variant is Sexual. So when reading other Enneagram books or websites refer to the Type 6w7, Sexual variant descriptions.

Derive what amusement from all of this that you can, friends.

Because everyone’s been positively dying to know, here are my D&D stats.

Str: 7
Int: 13
Wis: 11
Dex: 5
Con: 6
Chr: 14

I’ll let the gamer-geeks in the audience determine what this all means, if anything…

Doesn’t this sound like a nice place to spend one’s afterlife…

Sixth Level of Hell – The City of Dis

You approach Satan’s wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.

The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell – The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Take the Dante’s Inferno Hell Test

Thanks (?) to Mari for leading us to eternal suffering…

Found… damned near everywhere, so I won’t bother linking.

Take the “Which FARK Cliche Are You” quiz!