This is the content from 2002, the year I actually completed NaNoWriMo.
Bonus Material: The Unrelated Short Story and Part 2
Excerpt Special: The Interview
She spun and accused the Colonel, "You bring charlatans to my chambers? Do you want rid of me so very much?"
The Colonel, bless his soul, didn't so much as bat an eyelash as he replied, "Nobody in their right mind would pretend to be the instruments of that gods-cursed Prophecy, Your Royal Highness. That they are here at all should be all the proof you need. You of all people should know how seriously I have taken the responsibility of your ongoing care." There was a look that spoke of more trouble than he believed her worth, and it was the Princess who looked away guiltily.
"I'll tell you what, Princess," I said. "Quote me the relevant line of Prophecy, I'll see about giving you that proof you're so keen on witnessing."
Her chin came up. She looked me right in the eye and intoned, "'Know ye the deliverers by their noble bearing, by arcane tongue and by sorcery never before seen in this world.' Your bearing is certainly noble, sir, but your tongue seems not arcane, and no sorcery at all has been witnessed here."
Piece of cake. Or, more accurately, pizza. "Deliverers, eh? What kind of delivery did you have in mind? Chinese, perhaps? Or did you want some of that pizza-pie? Messy food for eating in such a pretty dress, but who am I to argue? I think we'll order up some of each." I conjured a cellphone. Okay, I conjured a replica of a cellphone. I mimed dialing, complete with overly-loud touch tones. "Hello? Yes, I'd like an order of, oh, how about some sweet-and-sour pork. And a couple of egg rolls. Hmm, yes, and an order of mandarin chicken. Make sure there are four fortune cookies, okay? Yes. Yes. Thank you, that'll be fine. Thank you. Goodbye!" I flipped the phone shut, counted silently to five, then pointed at a nearby table where several containers of piping-hot chinese food magically appeared.
For the record, while I may have cheated with the phone I can assure you that the food was genuine. I was really in the mood for an egg roll.
Flipping open the phone once more, I pretended to dial another number. "Hello? Yes, delivery. A large combination pizza, hold the olives, extra mushrooms. Ah, do you have root beer? Good. Yes, a bottle of root beer and a large combination pizza. Right. Mushrooms, no olives. Thanks!" With that I tossed the fake phone into nothingness, waited five seconds and pointed at the chair nearest the Princess where an open pizza box appeared. The root beer I deposited into my own hands. Conjuring food leaves one a bit thirsty, I've always noticed.
All three of my companions were properly amazed at my antics, which caused me to wonder briefly at Thom's background. I had more important things to do at that moment, however.
The Princess got over her initial shock quickly when she realized that very appealing smells were coming from the box on the chair. As she started towards the pizza I said, "You should probably have some of the chicken, Your Highness." I pointed at the table with the little white cartons of chinese take-out. "That," and I pointed now at the pizza, "will go straight to your hips, among other places."
That earned me an incredibly amusing stare. I think I can safely state that I was the very first person ever to speak to her in that fashion. The important part, of course, is that I had cleared any doubts about my status as Mysterious Fulfiller Of Prophecy. I took the opportunity to conjure some nice dinnerware and serve her up some mandarin chicken and a few slices of pork and a fortune cookie. The courtly bow as I presented her meal was intended to set the girl a bit more at ease.
Plates and forks appeared in the hands of my other companions, both of whom opted for slices of pizza. I handed fortune cookies to Thom and the Colonel, then cracked mine open. "Ah. Figures. 'You will know great joy and great sadness.' Typical fortune, doesn't mean anything."
Thom opened his next. "I don't understand. 'Love holds hidden and subtle dangers.'"
"Welcome back to the land of the speaking, Thom. And you do too understand. How about yours, Colonel?"
Colonel Dermott had opened his cookie and was munching on the pieces. He cleared his throat and read, "'One can come to love a burden and feel sorrow at its lifting.' How quaint."
The Princess had tossed her fortune aside. "You conjured this food, you wrote those words. This is all very silly."
I replied, "Silly or not, you should at least have the manners to thank someone for providing a nice meal. And since we're all so very curious, why don't you go ahead and tell us what your fortune reads, my dear?"
"It said, 'Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.'"
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