• Armitage: Dual-Matrix Special Edition

    So what do you do when you’re handed a DVD, you look at the cover and title, and you pop the disc into your player right away because you’re certain that this is going to be a fun show to see… and then you have to work continually throughout the viewing to keep your enthusiasm up?

    That pretty much sums up my experience with Pioneer’s Armitage: Dual-Matrix release, the sequel to the vastly-superior Armitage III: Poly-Matrix, itself a conglomeration of the original Armitage OAVs. I wanted to like this movie a lot. Instead I can only like it a little bit.

    What’s wrong with it, you ask? The animation quality is good, but just a little too “computery.” The plot is good, but just a little too “contrived.” The voice work is good, but just a little too “cheesy.” (How often, by the way, do we need to be told that Juliette Lewis is the voice of Armitage? Big whoop, Pioneer.)

    The story feels like it takes place in a vacuum, or that it’s a stage show with pretty sets but no background characters taking up available space. One gets the impression that for all the effort the animators went to in order to show us cool fight scenes, they didn’t want to be bothered animating background characters.

    I won’t bore you with a plot synopsis. Suffice to say that the robot-girl Armitage is given cause to take a trip to Earth to provide us with lots of butt-kicking action. Oh, and her daughter is used as an emotional pawn at least once. And her husband spends a lot of time standing around like a statue. Hmm, I’ve given too much away already.

    There are other minor problems as well, including a fully-3D car chase that looks, well, fully-3D. One also wonders at the animation technique used, since a lot of the shadows that fall on characters’ faces have stair-step jaggies. Every time I see that particular artifact I get pulled completely out of the story, amazed that anyone could have missed that glaring error even once, let alone as often as you see it in this film.

    One positive note (pun intended) is that the Special Edition release has very pretty menus, including the option to play three of the musical selections in 5.1 surround sound. However, once the novelty of this feature has worn off you realize that the music isn’t all that great to begin with. It’s not bad, it’s just… not that good either. Sort of like the rest of this feature. The “making of” featurette is better than I expected, with the exception of the terrible interview with Juliette Lewis. One wonders if she threw some sort of star-power fit to get so much of her face and name on this release.

    Oh yes, and check out Ahmed Best doing his best (pun intended) Jar-Jar impersonation. But wait, he is the voice of Jar-Jar. Um.

    I do plan to use this DVD to make a music video or two, as it does contain a great many nicely-animated action sequences. If you’re handed this disc as a freebie, enjoy. If you’re out shopping, skip over this one in favor of the original.

  • Happy Birthday, Mrs. Ball

    Sure, tomorrow is Independence Day. Whoop-dee-doo. Today is my sister’s birthday!

    Happy birthday to you
    Dressed in Navy blue
    Quarter-century old now
    And we’re so proud of you!

    Send Christine Ball your best birthday wishes at birthdaygirl@greyduck.net. (Note: This email alias will disappear in a couple of days to foil spambots.)

  • Talking Martha

    Ever wanted to put words into Martha Stewart’s mouth? Here’s your chance, courtesy of the ever-lovin’ Brunching Shuttlecocks. My entry, of course, is kinda lame:



    Thanks to Cosmic Central for finding this toy. You know, if I were just a bit more clever I could probably put together my own captioning toy. Hmm.
    Brunching – Talking Martha

  • Only funny to hardcore chat-room addicts, I’m afraid

    Hi, my name is Karel. (“Hi, Karel!”) I’m a recovering chat-room addict. I used to spend hours and hours every day in chat rooms. And sometimes I saw things almost as funny as the material at QDB.

    (Warning: NOT for the faint of heart or anyone easily offended. Language is often crude and blunt. Don’t blame me if you see something that tips one of your sacred cows.)

  • All war is terrorism, really

    Taking a few minutes off from being one of the cleverest smartasses on the web, Master Ninja tells us a little about the concepts of “terrorism” and “war.”

    Oh, did you notice how I didn’t use the word “terrorist attack” in that sentence there? Well, I did that on purpose. See, unless you have jelly for brains, you can realize that any military operation is a terrorist operation. When you’re in a war, you generally have two ways to get your point across – either you kill every one of your enemies (which occurs rarely) or you scare the living F— out of them until they surrender. Do you think the bombs we drop strategically ring our enemies’ doorbells and hide in the bushes? Do you think they have special “bad people” detectors? Do you think we have bombs that cast off the shackles of the oppressed while making their dictators think really hard about what they did wrong?

    No. We – that is, America – drop bombs on people to scare the living f— out of them. We know we’re not going to eliminate all of our enemies. We also know that killing one, or three, or four hundred of the “key leaders” isn’t going to tear down the organization based on an ideal of hatred shared by many of their countrymen. What will stop any enemy is making them think, “Wait! They’ve got f—ing bombs! Big ones! I’m scared because one of those bombs might very well make me die.” Fear. Fear is a much greater weapon of war than any weapon that has ever been developed in any lab – unless they’re developing Fear Bombs, which very well might work better than Fear itself.

    Better yet, go read the whole piece. Take note that it hasn’t been gently sanitized like the quoted paragraphs above. It’s damned good reading anyway.
    Master Ninja – Terrorism

  • Sunday, geeky Sunday

    Yeah, I totally failed to do the Friday Five again. It was a busy day.

    Now that I’ve downed a mug of steaming hot cocoa, I’m ready to take on the day’s tasks: Assemble the other two (of four) future Enco workstations in anticipation of the specialist’s arrival tomorrow morning; swap out the video card in what used to be the Entercom webmaster’s computer; make some progress on the standby server for Entercom’s future webserver; hook up the PC for a new NRK salesperson; type up plans for a proper Entercom webhosting facility.

    Not necessarily in that order, but pretty close. Here’s hoping your day is a bit more fun.