greyduck.net

I joined first, then Wendi joined shortly after. The Portland Bloggers group on Yahoo, that is. Turns out they (or is that “we” now?) meet on the first Friday of each month, and have done so for over a year now.

This was our first opportunity to do so. Great timing, wot?

We had a good time, drank some Henry’s (root beer, good stuff) and chatted merrily with other local folk who feel inclined to pour their lives and loves onto the Web for all to see.

It’s a fairly good bet nobody there had read either of our sites before the meeting, which is a Good Thing since nobody was compelled to ask awkward questions. We all had fun, and that’s what matters.

At any rate, I’m now a member of yet another group. Socializing is a good thing.

How am I doing, people ask. I’m getting along, I reply.

It’s not easy. Of course it’s not. Dismantling a relationship that’s been a dozen years in the building isn’t something you do or take lightly.

On the plus side, I am doing the right thing. I very rarely doubt that. Also, Wendi and I are being very cooperative with one another, very supportive, and are communicating well. The children are taking things fairly well, but we’re still going to get them some counseling as soon as we can.

On the downside, between the (gradual, impending) divorce and the KWJJ/KOTK situation (and other things I’m not yet willing to talk about here) I feel like my entire soul is in a vice. My heart aches constantly, and that knot in my belly comes and goes in an almost whimsical fashion. Nevermind that rampant self-doubt and depressed introspection aren’t really contributing to a healthy worldview.

I’ll be okay. Eventually. I have to be, or none of this was worth it. Between now and “eventually,” however, I don’t expect to be happy much. That’s the way it works, folks.

Gee, I wonder what I’ll do for the PPF this week…

I’ll try to keep this brief.

As of today, Wendi and I are no longer a married couple, for all intents and purposes. (The legalities will take a while, as legalities tend to do.) The parting is amicable, if tearful and saddening. The reasons and details may or may not follow at some later date. I may decide it’s nobody’s business. Then again, I’m also a shameless exhibitionist in some ways. Only time will tell, and right now it’s too damned soon.

I may take a couple of days off from posting, or I may not. Right now I’m not sure of very many things except that I have to get up in the morning and go to work, pretending that all is right with the world.

Good night, everyone. Sleep well, and cherish those you love.