While pondering what to do with our couple days off together, the lovely and patient Kylanath suggested an Ikea trip. And so, this morning, after a lovely breakfast at the Cadillac Cafe on NE Broadway we embarked via MAX train to our local big blue-and-yellow box. Once again I demonstrated why shopping with me is superior to shopping without me.

• I point out all the shinies. “Oooh, look at this! You know you want one.”
• I provide the best snark. “Of course you need purple napkins. Why else would they exist, otherwise?”
• I am a grand master of using improvised objects for comedy. “I know the sign says it’s an oven mitt, but this is clearly a silicone lizard hand puppet.”
• I can carry heavy boxes for moderate distances on the way home.

My big blue bag only contained a big gray bath towel and a big poofy pillow, one of which I can’t try out until after laundry day and the other I can’t try out until bedtime. Otherwise I behaved myself, and my bank balance thanks me…