Has anyone else experienced this? I’d love to hear from you to compare notes and/or get some useful advice. I’m partly annoyed and partly creeped right the hell out…

I looked at my bank statement online over the weekend and noticed something a bit odd. Anyone who knows me could tell you that I’m not what you’d call a sports nut. Why, then, is there a subscription charge for “SI Magazine” in my transaction history? Looking back a couple of weeks there was another charge that escaped my notice, and that one was for “EW Magazine.” Each charge was for $24.95.

Oh, goody.

I flagged the two transactions, and received notice today from the bank that if I want to investigate them as possible fraudulent activity then they’ll have to turn off my card and issue me a new one, immediately. Well, sure, but I sort of need the card I have. There are payments due, right? My other option was to contact the party responsible for the charges to see if they’d remedy the situation. Oddly enough, the line items included an 800 number to call. (For the record: 800-586-5305.)

Sure. Let’s try that first, shall we?

I called, and right away I knew I was in for a fun time. Have you ever dealt with those voice-response automated systems? “Please respond with Yes or No.” Over the course of the next six minutes I found myself saying “No” several times to such questions as, “Would you like me to reverse the current charge and sign you up for our special deal on blah blah blah for the next so-many months?” I also discovered that both subscriptions had been ordered on the 4th of December, last year.

That’s funny. I’m sure I’d have noticed a couple months’ worth of Entertainment Weekly and Sports Illustrated strewn about the house. At no time, by the way, was any company name given so I’d know who I was actually dealing with. The word “fishy” doesn’t begin to describe it, folks.

So. Six minutes per call, two calls, and I spent the entire time speaking clearly and distinctly while thinking quickly enough (I hope) to dodge the little verbal pitfalls strewn in my path. Oh, yes, they went to great trouble in order to phrase questions in a way designed to elicit a knee-jerk “Yes” response which will actually lead to more charges to an account they had no business accessing in the first place! They really, really wanted my business money. Too bad they weren’t providing any sort of service at all, let alone one I wanted in the first place.

Let this be a lesson to you, folks. Watch those bank statements closely! Be careful where you use your credit or debit card! (No, I haven’t figured out where I messed up. I don’t do shopping online from strange websites or any of that nonsense. Argh.)

While it’s true that money can’t buy happiness, and there are problems for which the best solution may not be the application of wads of cash, I still feel better knowing that federal tax refunds landed in a couple of specific bank accounts this morning.

My weekend will still be busy, but at least it won’t suck quite so much due to lack-of-funds like my weekends tend to do.

Now I just need my new computer to get here already. Oh, and my birthday vacation, too. And… well, never you mind what else I need.

Fifteen years ago today, I went and got married. (A few years ago, of course, I got unmarried.)

To commemorate the occasion, my ex-wife gave me a big bundle of stress to deal with this week. Ain’t she sweet? I won’t go into details here, but suffice to say I’m a bit whole lot of annoyed right now.

Hooray, or something. I just love special occasions.

A couple of weeks ago, Kyla and I took a chance on the Macaroni Grill in downtown Portland, having been denied the chance to dine at Kells due to it being a Monday night. I approached the experience with some trepidation, as the place looks altogether too fru-fru for the likes of plebians such as myself. Never mind what I feared the final monetary tally might look like.

Here’s the first thing we enjoyed about the experience:

Yes, those are crayons on a paper-covered table. Yes, the crayons have food-related color names.

No, Kyla didn’t take the purple eggplant crayon home after dinner.

Speaking of dinner, let’s talk about the food. While we may have missed out on that other restaurant‘s garlic bread sticks, the bread loaf provided was quite yummy nonetheless. After considering the mix-and-match pasta plate, I decided to go instead with my usual dish of chicken parmisan. What better way to judge an eatery than by sampling their rendition of one of my all-time favorites?

It was scrumptious, I tell you. The portion was considerable, too, enough so that I took half of it to work the next day for lunch. Even better, instead of the standard side of spaghetti with marinara sauce, they instead twirled a considerable helping of angel hair pasta onto the plate, flavored only with butter and herbs. I love angel hair pasta!

We deliberately (if only with considerable self-restraint) saved room for dessert, consisting of a chocolate-filled ravioli-type pastry which was cute, but sounded more appealing than it tasted. Still, we really didn’t have anything to complain about with the food. (I recommend forgoing the salad before the main dish, though, as it’s an extra charge and nothing particularly special in its own right.)

And then, the dreaded tally: With dessert, I still ended up paying less overall than at the other, similar-cuisine dining establishment. Wow. That’s not to say it was cheap, but they provided more dining delight per dollar than expected, and at a very competitive price.

In short: Enjoyed Macaroni Grill. Will patronize again.