Month: November 2006

  • Are you people still here?

    Oh, right. It’s still NaBloPoMo. My obligation thereto is not yet met. (“Hello, obligation, pleased to meet you.”) I’m sitting here randomly websurfing, listening to music I’ve not heard before (my “Incoming” directory is a thing of boundless horror beauty) and finishing off my dinner (consisting of leftover stew, with crackers), washed down with delicious Thomas Kemper black cherry soda.

    That’s right, folks. I’m living the good life. Be jealous. Or envious, whichever. (One of these days I’ll fully grasp the difference. Yes, there is a difference to be grasped.)

    No, I’m not on drugs. To the best of my knowledge I’ve never been on drugs, and only once was I ever drunk. (My best friend and I beat the stuffing out of his little brother for spiking the apple juice, once we could think coherently again. We had to get a lot of laughing at stupid random things out of the way first, though. Like, you know, houseflies. Apparently, when you’re drunk, houseflies are comedy gold.) I do like parentheses, though. I suspect you noticed that. And, I’m being silly, because I can, and because it amuses me. If I’m lucky it’ll amuse you. See, I like putting smiles on faces. I’m not above painting them on with a Sharpie pen, either. So, laugh, dammit.

    Hmm. Needs more random. There, much better. Good night, everybody!

  • Turkey, With A Side Of Turkey

    We had turkey for dinner today, and as part of our meal we made fun of another turkey. As I was flipping through the free selection of “On Demand” movies, I spotted “Krull” and groaned. Those of us in the room old enough to remember that particular turkey chimed in, and my daughter (bless her heart) immediately insisted on seeing it. Well, hey, who are we to turn down a good chance to riff on a bad movie?

    Notable moments included the following:

    • At least Qui-Gon Jinn got a more dignified death scene here than he did in “Phantom Menace.” (I totally failed to make any Darkman jokes during the entire movie. Silly me.)
    • Hagrid looks really weird without his beard.
    • Thufir Hawat was in love with Lady Jessica. Who knew?
    • “Ouch! I’ve gotta stop doing that!” (When the glaive’s blades come out, our hero is almost always holding it in the worst possible position.)
    • The Budweiser Clydesdales have flaming hooves. Who knew?
    • Gandalf the Green is nowhere near as cool as Gandalf the Grey. In fact, he’s kind of useless.
    • You know, if any of those guys knew anything about anatomy, they’d have been able to flee the evil fortress in no time. That’s what they get for not paying attention in Health class!
    • A little Tinactin could’ve helped our hero’s little “burning” problem. Where’s John Madden when you need him?
    • That cyclops sure had good aim over distance for a critter with no depth perception.

    There was more, of course, but I’ll spare you. Suffice to say we shared a lot of laughs while we stuffed ourselves on turkey, potatoes, stuffing, gravy, pasta-and-cheese and dinner rolls. Oh, and pumpkin pie. Yum.

    Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

  • Lest I Seem Without Thanks

    It’s almost Thanksgiving, so let’s get some giving of thanks out of the way.

    I may occasionally seem unhappy with my job, and it’s true. Of course, if it was fun all the time they wouldn’t call it Work, would they? But let’s be clear about one thing: I’m very, very thankful to have this job. Mind you, I’m thankful to have any job, but things worked out better than I could have expected.

    For years I complained that rarely did anyone in authority come to me for advice about technical things before implementing something new and potentially disastrous. One of the things I wanted most was to be asked for my input. Well, my new boss seems to be thoroughly serious about soliciting my viewpoint on things, from how the business should present itself to which service offerings we should provide in the future. I was a bit late getting out the door this evening at the end of my workday because we were discussing anti-spam platforms.

    Feeling like I have some say in things, even as I recognize that the boss’ decision is final (as it should be!), goes a long way toward making me feel like I’m in a healthy, positive environment. Sure, I’m surrounded by triple threats (guys with certifications, years of experience and hefty brains), but maybe I can hold my own after all. And even if this turns out not to be “the job for me,” at least in the meantime I’m in a fairly good spot.

    For which I’m intensely thankful.

  • Will Prevaricate To Prove A Point

    This one’s going to be a bit weird, and may not make a whole lot of sense. I apologize in advance. However, since I’ve sort of glided by on a string of very small posts for most of the last few entries, I figured I’d give my lovely readership a bit of something more substantial to digest. As it were.

    The scene is… some sort of event, many years ago. I was a young’un, not yet a teenager even. It may have been a county fair. There’s a chance it was a boat show at the Expo Center. I’m fairly certain that the venue was covered, but don’t hold me to that. The point is that there were various things to see and do, and my family was seeing and doing. Mostly seeing.

    The cast consists of myself and… well, probably Sis and maybe Mom and I kind of think that her mother was with us, but I can’t be sure. We were a small group, maybe four or five of us, so maybe step-grandpa was with us, or maybe one out of the string of men in Mom’s life. Maybe it was random other people.

    Yes, I’m filing this under “Memories.” Yes, my memory really is this hazy for much of my early life. Deal with it.

    At this event we came across a handwriting analysis booth. That’s right, the deal was that if you write a sentence (very likely the best-known of the pangrams, “The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog.”), they’ll tell you what kind of person you are. I was young, bored and gullible, so I gave it a shot. This is back when I could still more-or-less write in cursive.

    I don’t remember what else was on the analysis sheet they gave me, though I’m sure it included concepts like “too snarky for his own good” and “probably needs to get out more.” What statement I found interesting was, “will prevaricate to prove a point.” I thought that was an awfully nice thing to say about me. Hey, it sounded good. A big word like that must mean something bold and positive, right?

    The elders with whom I traveled finally set me straight. “Prevaricate means lie, Karel.”

    Oh.

    Looking back, I probably took it to mean something like “persevere.” Ah, well. I was young.

    I wasn’t too young to recognize the truth of it, though. There’s always been a part of me willing to sacrifice a bit of truth to convince people of something. Even in my darker days I didn’t really lie all that much about what I had or hadn’t actually done. It’s more a matter of being in a debate and exaggerating my chosen example which illustrates why I’m right. (Of course I’m right. Right?)

    And thanks to that handwriting analysis, I keep this fact in the back of my head as often as possible so I don’t let that impulse run away with me. At least, not any more than I can catch myself doing…

  • Not Precisely What I Signed Up For

    When I took the job it was billed as an 8-to-5 Monday-to-Friday gig as the managed services “help desk” guy. This should have precluded any chance of an eleven-hour no-lunch workday.

    And yet, this is precisely what happened today.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to eat my second meal of the day, twelve hours after my first, and go fall into bed. Thank you.

  • My Kids Rock

    Failing better inspiration, I’ll fill today’s posting requirement by reminding the world that I, yes I, have the best children ever.

    That will be all. Thank you.