“So, Karel, the meme thing was kinda cute, but how are you feeling? What’s going on?”
The cold is on its last legs… or flagella, or whatever. I still get coughing fits, including a long string of them Wednesday afternoon and evening that cost me quality time with my children. Did I mention that a week and a half has passed since I last visited with them? Yeah.
I did some of what I used to call “side work” yesterday evening, and for the most part I think it went well. My desire to own a Mac goes down every time I have to fight Apple’s absurd notions of what one should and shouldn’t do with one’s own systems and data, though. Anyway, that money added to my “unenjoyment” for the week will cover my rent and utilities quite nicely, thank you.
So far during this two and a half months of job searching I’ve only scored the one interview, and as I suspected I didn’t get the job. Also, two days ago I took a call about a possible job position that I am absolutely perfect for… but for one minor (to me) quibble: I can’t drive and don’t own a car. Yesterday, my “alarm clock” call consisted of confirmation that there’s no way I could get the job. Waking up to that put me into one hell of a funk for the rest of the day; only stubborn pride and professionalism got me through the hours I spent “working” in the evening.
Did I mention that I would’ve been perfect for that job? Groupwise support, eDirectory/LDAP, mixed environment, I could go on and on. Damn. To three I bring the count of “gotchas” I’ve run into with each and every job opening I’ve tried for. They always require either a driver, a mid-to-high-level programmer, or a database guru. I’m none of those things, and I wouldn’t dare trying to fake ’em.
So, all in all, I’m… hanging in there, albeit barely sometimes. This is why I’m not in a sales position nor am I a published writer, folks: I don’t handle perpetual rejection well. Even so, I’m not even being actively rejected so much as ignored, for the most part. Quick, name two things that will quickly drag down a sensitive, attention-seeking guy like myself!
I spend the first part of every weekday doing the job hunt (and stop when I’ve exhausted the possibilities presented by the resources at my disposal), but with the rest of my time I rarely do anything of note. I have all of this “free time” and yet my long-delayed pet projects and hobbies are sorely neglected. I did get the kids’ anime-viewing multimedia PC working again, but that’s the bulk of what I’ve accomplished in the past month. Sad, huh?
That said, there are bright spots and things to be grateful for. The kids are generally happy and healthy. My relationships are in as good of shape as I could ever hope for under the circumstances. (I’m the weak link in all cases right now; while I have an excuse, I don’t want to rely on excuses, you know?) I still have a roof over my head, at least as long as the money holds out. I’d say “I have my health” if this stupid cold would just go away for good.
And I’m still able to dredge up a respectable semblance of cheer and energy when a job prospect actually generates some kind of two-way communication. My future depends on my ability to do so. “Fake it ’til you make it,” indeed.
