Some guy over on Livejournal by name of Howard Tayler (okay, so he’s got a webcomic) really, really didn’t like the film rendition of “BloodRayne.” And I quote:

I’m serious. If I find out that you went and saw this film after I told you not to, I’ll phone your friends up and tell them to go to your house and pour ants in your bed. And when you wake up screaming, covered in ants, you’ll think “at least I’m not still watching BloodRayne.”

[…]

I’m not trying to tear this movie a new anal orifice. I assure you, the film already has SEVERAL, and it defecates simultaneously through all of them. You don’t want to get any of this on you.

His review is a fun read, if only to see how a writer of decent talent can thoroughly eviscerate a movie.