You may have noticed my recent silence here and elsewhere (though not everywhere). In large part my lack of updating was caused by a lack of anything to say, pure and simple. A smaller part of the problem, however, is an increasing desire not to get caught in some nasty crossfire.
You may have noticed a certain level of vitriol between various involved parties who I won’t name at this point. My policy up to now has been: I will, in no way, attempt to dictate the content of anyone’s personal website. I will not take sides or attempt to excuse the behaviour of people over whom I have no authority. I encourage everyone to write what they believe to be true, or necessary to say for their own personal well-being.
To this I must add a new policy.
I would appreciate from all involved parties an agreement to at least attempt to deal with relevant accusations and recriminations in some private manner before airing such content publicly. Certain factual errors have crept into various postings that are not helping the situation one tiny bit.
The truth is that many of my friends’ perceptions are unalterably colored by months of negative commentary I made in private correspondence. This has damaged whatever positive relationships may have originally been possible. I habitually took my venting too far out of line without also dealing with those frustrations in a direct and responsible fashion with the party involved.
I can’t take back the things I’ve said or done. I can only apologize to everyone involved for making things ten times worse than they ought to have been. And before you think I’m being whiny and overly apologetic, I will state for the record that at this moment I am in a relatively clear state of mind, and I’m not beating myself up. I’m stating cold hard indisputable facts.
There are several months yet during which I need to be able to live somewhat comfortably under the same roof as the woman I married and still care about. I’m still not going to tell anyone they shouldn’t write what they feel they truly must. I’m only asking for some forebearance, for my sake if nobody else’s, on the topic of the breakup.
Anyone who knows me could tell you that one thing I can’t stand to do is directly impose on another human being. Well, I’m going to attempt an imposition now:
If you have something to say about anything that’s been said or done by myself, herself or anyone directly associated with either, please do so in private first and take it public only if there’s real cause to do so. This world wide mudslinging isn’t helping anything.
Thank you.
