Author: Karel Kerezman

  • Past, Present, Future – Round Forty-four

    Reincarnation? Why not?

    PAST: Who, or what, were you in your past life?

    PRESENT: What are you in this life, really?

    FUTURE: What would you like to come back as, next time around?

    Once this is all over I’m probably going to change things so the permalink is a special page that lists all of the PPFs by number along with their seed ideas. That way someone can come along months down the road and answer whatever one they want to, any day of the week, any week of the year. Sounds like a plan, wot?
    PPF Permalink

  • The Return of the King

    The final installment of the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy was, indeed, awesome. And yet… after watching the extended versions of Fellowship and Two Towers the last two Mondays in the theater, it was also just about what I expected, nothing more nothing less. Few surprises there are, but those are generally pleasant ones.

    Let’s face it: You don’t need me to tell you that this is a movie worth seeing. All I can do here is offer my handful of thoughts about specific parts of the movie.

    Regarding Faramir: The Two Towers’ extended-version inclusion of the Faramir/Boromir/Denethor flashback is absolutely vital to understanding the relationship between Denethor and Faramir that we see in Return of the King.

    One of the things this movie did especially well was conveying a sense of bigness to things. The oliphaunts? Big. The seige weaponry and their projectiles? Way big. Minas Tirith? Awesome. Rocks are lobbed through the air, land, and generally do large-rock-like things to buildings and people in their path. Very, very cool stuff this is.

    On a technical side note, Peter Jackson clearly had total faith in his team’s skill with compositing. Wow. Check out Gandalf’s arrival at Minas Tirith.

    By the way, I hate spiders. Especially spiders that stand taller than a hobbit while on all eights. (I wouldn’t say “all fours,” now would I? Hmm?)

    I’m pleased to say that “Gimli, Comic Relief Dwarf” is at least genuinely funny part of the time… mainly because the lines aren’t so badly written as to require a forced delivery, unlike many of the quips in the first two films.

    Watch out for the pair (trio? did I lose count?) of false endings. The screen goes dark… for several seconds… and then it’s time for another scene! This happens more than once! Bleargh! It’s as if the filmmakers couldn’t decide where to end this thing, so they strung along a series of ending scenes for as far as the eye could see, then randomly picked a place and dropped the knife on it. Or something. Minor quibble, but it’s a sad way to leave the theater after such a great movie experience when your head’s reeling from the endings.

    When you’ve just sat through and dissected the qualities of the two previous films’ extended versions, you’re naturally going to think about what bits were probably excised from this film that might reappear for its extended edition release. It’s almost certain that there’s more to see of Aragorn’s transition from the ranger who arrives with the Rohirrim and the King who knocks on the Black Gate. One suspects there’s more to see of the fight between orc and Uruk-hai at that guard tower. And so on, and so on.

    One also suspects that Christopher Lee won’t be entirely appeased if his appearance in this film is restored when the DVD comes out. We could’ve done without the Smeagol flashback that started the movie, and seen Saruman’s last scenes instead. Ah well.

    All told, this is a film… a set of films, to be more accurate… that will stand as the high water mark for genre moviemaking many years from now. It’s an outstanding movie experience, despite quibbles over what was and wasn’t included from the source material.

    In a way, I’m glad it’s over. All the weight of years of anticipation is lifted, and the decades of nitpicking can begin at last…

  • The Two Larger Towers

    Here’s the capsule review of the Two Towers “extended” showing today:

    Only two restored scenes were particularly useful. The most important is the Boromir/Faramir Flashback. Say what you will about its overall usefulness to the plot, it was very interesting backstory in its own right. The other scene is the Eowyn’s Stew bit, mostly useful for showing us what a good cook Eowyn is. No no, that’s not right. It’s useful because we find out Aragorn’s age (which isn’t interesting in and of itself, but learning his age tells us something about his lineage).

    Another restored sequence is a bit of characterization goofiness from Merry and Pippin, where they find Saruman’s stash of pipeweed. Oddly enough I was delighted to see that sequence, since it’s one of the few bits from the books that remains vivid in my mind years after the reading. Your enjoyment mileage may vary, of course. Of questionable value is another “let’s give Merry and Pippin more screen time” sequence involving some magic water…

    As with Fellowship, most of the restored footage took the form of “making existing scenes just a bit longer.” Well, I can’t forget the additional Gimli, Comic Relief Dwarf moments. Le sigh. I was sort of hoping that the trend begun with the Fellowship extended release would continue, but apparently the movies’ creators don’t share my despair at using the dwarf almost exclusively for very cheap laughs. Ah well.

    Is Two Towers better in its extended form? Absolutely. Nothing is changed about the overall tone or pacing, and while some of the originally-excised scenes weren’t necessary for the sake of audience comprehension (we don’t need to see Theodred’s funeral: we know he’s dead) they don’t detract from the film either. No, not even the Comic Relief Dwarf moments. (I admit to laughing at the last one of those.)

    Mind you, most of the people who might find this review useful have probably already purchased the appropriate DVD release. Ah well…

  • Past, Present, Future – Round Forty-three

    PAST: What would you consider your first real accomplishment in life? We’re talking about something you put real, conscious effort into, here.

    PRESENT: What are you working on now that you’re hoping to have accomplished soon?

    FUTURE: What accomplishment would you like to be remembered for? (Hint: This is where you could get away with making up something delightfully improbable.)

    And I feel better for having accomplished this round of the PPF while under considerable stress. Huzzah! Comment so we know you were here, please? And as always, link back using the handy-dandy always-updated permalink below. Thank you!
    http://greyduck.net/ppf/

  • Of Windows, Phone Equipment And Troubleshooting

    The fun and excitement of the Enco situation this week has obscured another interesting technical situation. We ordered some new studio telephone equipment that arrived late last week, and today (at long last) we tried to configure its hub.

    Telos’ 2101 “hub” is a computer designed to manage remote phone sets. (This is the machine we thought was blue-screening last week, for those of you who’ve been following along at home.) It’s running Windows NT “Embedded,” which I’ve never seen before.

    So we tried to configure it over the network, which is the only way provided to configure one of these machines. After sorting out some subnet issues we were able to ping the box, but not talk to it via the provided configuration utility.

    “Oh,” Telos’ tech support says, “You have to authenticate to the box first.” Turns out we have to search for the machine by IP address through Windows networking, connect with username and password, then the configuration utility is allowed to do its job. Hmm. We didn’t see that anywhere in the documentation.

    Then things took a turn for the weird. See, it turns out that the provided utility is known for doing weird, bad things to the device it configures. Well, we don’t want that, do we? So we attempt to download updated software via the utility. And we attempt, and we try, and we try, and we attempt, and we try some more. All is for naught, however, and we can’t figure out why. One clue is that the reported software version on the 2101 is more than two years old. It is, in fact, almost the first “released” version of the 2101’s software. This baffles Telos’ tech support guy.

    In an attempt to figure out what’s going on (here comes the cool part) I’m instructed to fire up Netmeeting and use it to connect to the 2101… and upon connection I’m given a desktop to control! That’s right, folks. I was looking at an NT desktop via a Netmeeting instance designed to allow last-ditch system administration on a box that lacks keyboard and video display (but does provide the hookups therefore, go figure).

    To wrap up, it turns out that the software we were trying to connect to and update wasn’t even running on the computer. Telos is going to prep a new CF card with the most-recent software revision and “all that,” which we should receive next week. Supposedly we can just drop that CF card into place and ship them back the one we have, and then we’ll be able to use the web-based administration and (gasp!) actually have working, running software when we boot the device.

    Wow. I’m really glad I didn’t go home immediately after we finished up the Enco project today…

  • How’s your hair? Fine!

    I was in the shower the other morning and for the first time in the years I’ve been using the stuff decided to actually read the instructions on my bottle of Senscience shampoo.

    Now, most of the instructions are fairly normal, but one of the things they want me to do seems… odd. Let me show you. (My commentary is parenthetical.)

    DIRECTIONS: Wet hair thoroughly. (Okay, I’m with you so far.) Apply shampoo. (To the hair, I assume?) Lather well and rinse. (Gotcha.) Repeat if necessary. (It never has been, but I’ll keep that in mind.) Available exclusively at fine salons. (You said WHAT? You want me to get out of the shower right now, head to my nearest “fine salon” and buy a bottle of something I already have? Dripping wet naked? Are you people insane?)

    See what I mean?

    For the record, that last instruction is clearly before the paragraph break, and it shows up at the end of each language’s set of instructions. “Exclusif aux meilleurs salons,” and also “De venta exclusivamente en finos salones de belleza.” I am not making this up, as Dave Barry is wont to say. Bizarre, I tell you.