(This entry is pieced together from things I’ve said in chats, private emails and comments to other websites, edited together with some new material and reworked phrasings. It is but one insider’s opinion, and should not be taken as gospel, let alone an informed view of how the business actually works. In other words, take all of this with as large a grain of salt as necessary.)

You know the adage about how only a fool fights a multi-front war? We’re now fighting ourselves (on the FM and AM dials, no less) and at least two other FM signals in town, one of them rather well established.

It leaves me shaking my head, wondering what the hell the Powers That Be were thinking. This is a questionable, if not just-plain-bad, idea and it’s being rolled out by several large companies nationwide in a great big hurry. Basically it’s a race to “establish” this new “anything-goes (as long as it’s all-hits)” format in every market in America, and whoever gets their signal flipped first, wins. Did I mention that every single one of these stations apparently must be named as if they were guys? Anthropomorphize much?

Henceforth I’ll be referring to this as the “$GUY” format, where $GUY is a variable you can fill in with the likes of Charlie, Ted, Bob, George, Steve or any number of other options and you’ll probably find a station with that name somewhere in the country by year’s end. I’m not kidding.

The format itself is strikingly, staggeringly uninteresting. It’s chart-topping hits from a wide time range. That, and only that. There’s no such thing as “deep cuts” (that is, partly-forgotten musical gems) in this format. So, music I got sick and tired of ages ago, on continual repeat? Thanks but no. I’d almost rather listen to the country station. (I said, “almost.” No offense, folks, it’s just not my cuppa.) Our CEO says, “It is not too strong a statement to say that each of these brands has already begun to electrify their respective cities.” Uh, yeah, the electrification here? It’s in the form of cattle prods, sir.

I believe Charlie won’t remain automated. Major radio companies are putting a lot of weight, in a very big hurry, behind this “new format” (they’re seriously thinking of it in those terms, I kid you not, even though it’s what back-country small-town stations have been doing for decades). They’re going to pour money, and therefore talent, at this thing hand-over-fist. At least, that’s my take so far. Mind you, I just heard that there are stations that have been on this format for months and haven’t yet added DJs. One can appreciate the appeal for the Powers That Be of not having to pay jocks’ salaries. I have absolutely no idea how they’re going to make these stations stand out without personalities, but what do I know?

So, the changeover. I heard about it at about 12:30pm yesterday, from my (local) boss. Mind you, I’d predicted it about three hours beforehand, based on bits and pieces I picked up over the last week, and the news that the sales managers responsible for KKSN-FM had been meeting with the GMs the previous night until 10pm. Various people obsoleted by the two station changes have been saying their goodbyes and cleaning up their stuff (physical and electronic) for the last 24 hours, and I expect a steady stream of “goodbye” emails for a few days yet to come. That part’s never fun, and after over a decade it still saddens me, every time. Maybe I’m just a SNAG at heart, after all.

Hmm. Naaaah. I’m just a softie.

In other news, Seattle’s seen its own format shakeup today. The station that formerly competed directly with KNDD “The End” has flipped to $GUY, thus ending a competition for the lead “classic alternative” (don’t get me started, just don’t) station in that town.

They’re calling theirs Jack, eh? Oh, the comedic possibilities! Of course, they’ll “sell” the format change to clients as being a “bold move into a hot new format” instead of “giving up on fighting KNDD.” Heh. I love this business, I tell ya.

Mind you, the spin from our side is equally insane… so, Entercom wants to win nationwide with the $GUY format, but when Infinity gets there first in Seattle it’s a “big win for Entercom,” solely based on the fact that The End no longer has a direct competitor? Riiiiight.

Radio. Come for the illusion of glamour, stay for the regularly scheduled insanity.