I get a kick out of my kids.

Alex is so serious, just like his dad, when he’s not being silly, just like his dad. I think he’s doing a better job of things than I was at his age, though he can be stubborn about the darnedest things as well. Gee, I have no idea where he gets that. Recently he’s been working on mastering Sonic Adventure 2 and unlocking characters in Soul Calibur on the Dreamcast, churning through The Elenium by David Eddings, and sussing out the secrets of Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I’m hoping to start him on Raymond Feist’s Riftwar books once he’s done with the last of the Elenium trilogy. He just started The Hidden City this evening so there’s a few days yet. Alexander is a perceptive and surprisingly empathic young man who, if we can train him up right, will probably find himself more popular with the girls than he’ll know what to do about. Hey, it has to beat how I stumbled through that aspect of life for so many years.

Erica is such a normal little girl in so many ways, and yet surprisingly deep and mature in several others. Mind you, she’s far and away the more devious of the two. Nothing escapes her notice, and she learns very well just by watching. Case in point: Alex was playing one of the 3D platform-style games a while back, and Erica just sat and watched. She didn’t ask to play until at least a week had gone by. Then, when she did decide to play, she was off and finding things in the game that Alex didn’t even know about! Her current responsibility is that of General Bunny Wrangler (to her mom’s Bunny Wrangler In Charge, of course) and she takes great delight in handling the bunnies and making sure they have clean water and fresh food. She’s our little nature-lover and adventurer, no doubt about it. Not to mention her role as Social Butterfly, which is what makes her parents wonder what set of genes she picked that up from. Erica is a complete natural at social networking, though she has some hard lessons yet to learn about trust and about fairness.

Yeah, I have great kids. No doubt in my mind.

Sometimes it’s as if nothing has changed.

Sometimes it’s a strain to see eye to eye.

Sometimes we just can’t communicate.

Sometimes the fact that there’s a divorce going on jumps up and bites us on the ass.

I’m not trying to “put you in your place.” I’m trying to gracefully move apart, trying to admit defeat and move on with my life. I cannot survive this if I cling desperately to what was. I feel like crap as it is.

I love you. But I’m not going to pretend that we’re not going on with our own, separate lives. If it looks or sounds like I’m pushing you away… I’m not pushing, but I am trying to keep you at arm’s length so I can keep my perspective. Doing otherwise would lead us down a path that can only ultimately bring even more pain. Yes, more than what we’re already feeling.

Perhaps this doesn’t help. Perhaps this doesn’t answer the question. I can’t do any more than I already am, though.

(BlueCalx moment: Hey, you should go visit greyduck.net right now. Yeah.)

Attention, attention: We have changed from root beer to orange juice as the beverage of choice.

I love orange juice. Actually I love most citrus juices, but orange juice is the best. Minute Maid makes a darned tasty juice, while Tropicana’s tastes a bit too “raw” for me.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to heat up a corn dog, pour another glass of OJ and watch more Lain.

This whole “sitting in front of the computer and typing almost non-stop” thing is great, but I need to get the numbness out of my butt, the soreness out of my shoulder and some energy back into my body.

If you need me, I’ll be wandering aimlessly around the house… on and off. (Okay, so I’m not going to get very far from the computer. This is ME we’re talking about here, folks.)

What do you think, by the way? Is it working? Does it look good? Feedback, people, feedback! I’m workin’ in a vacuum here, and we know that all nature abhors a vacuum…

Wendi arrived from her DJ gig, flush with tip money. Woo hoo! I unloaded her van, and now she’s off to the store to pick up things we’ll need for tomorrow and what-not. Then she’s going to hit the hay since she has another very busy day ahead.

Lucky her. Sorta. At least I’ll have the luxury of sleeping parts of my day away tomorrow.

I know what I’ll be spending at least part of my time on. Dishes, garbage and laundry.

That’s right, folks. Do I know how to live, or what? I’d really like to get the damned houseflies out of the house, though, and given the pigsty that our house has become and given that I’m not leaving the house today… it’s a good match, wouldn’t you agree?

Mind you, I’ll be drafting the children for some of it. Their room really needs a good-clean, and they can pick up the living room. Mwahahaha…