A new run of OAVs with new title music and lots of character development and backstory. Watch with glee as the Tenchi Muyo gang says, Hello! Baby.
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Aeka: Hello, Masaki Residence. Oh, hi! Sorry the show’s writers couldn’t think of a name for you, Tenchi’s Aunt. What? Okay, I’m on my way. |
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Tenchi: Welcome home! How was The Baby, Sasami? |
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Sasami: *blush* He was cute. *scamper* |
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Tenchi: Er, okay. Thanks for bringing Sasami home, Auntie. Why don’t you bring The Baby next time you visit? |
*ding dong* | |
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Tenchi: Oh, hi Auntie– urk! |
Auntie: Hi. Here’s the baby, the formula, the toys, the diapers. His mother’s ill. I knew you wouldn’t mind. | |
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Tenchi: B-b-baby? |
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Taro: *squeal* |
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Tenchi: But auntie– …? |
Auntie: So long, sucker! *wave* | |
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Tenchi: So… it’s up to us to take care of The Baby for a few days. |
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Mihoshi: He’s so cute! |
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Ryoko: Tenchi was cuter as a baby. |
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Sasami: Really? |
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Aeka: Yes, well, he must be related to me. After all, he’s Tenchi’s Aunt’s Grandson. Don’t ask me how I know that. |
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Ryoko: Whatever. Look, Tenchi! Let’s play house! |
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Taro: Gyah! *pinch* |
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Ryoko: Hey, stop it! Stop it, Baby! |
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Aeka: See, he doesn’t like you. *grab* |
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Ryoko: Why you… *grab* |
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Taro: *drool* |
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Aeka: Ewww. |
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Ryoko: Ah-hahahaha… |
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Taro: *drip* |
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Ryoko: *blink* Ewww. |
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Aeka: Ewww! *fling* |
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Tenchi: Mwaah! |
*crash* *thud* | |
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Tenchi: Well now, did you enjoy your trip? |
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Sasami: Little Taro is crying, Ryo-ohki. |
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Ryo-ohki: Myow meow. (Translation: “Don’t tell me there’s something in this house cuter than I am. This I’ve gotta see.”) |
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Taro: Waaah! Waaah! |
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Tenchi: Mihoshi, would you change his diaper for me? Not that I can imagine you doing it correctly, mind you. |
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Mihoshi: Uh, okay! |
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Tenchi: Aeka, your dress got soaked, you should go wash it. |
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Aeka: And I’ll wash that linen too, Tenchi! See how helpful I am? |
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Mihoshi: Oh how thoughtful, an instruction book for diapers! |
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Ryo-ohki: Meow. (Translation: “Like that’s going to help.”) |
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Taro: Waaah! Waaah! *grab* *thwip* *thump* *thwip* *thump* |
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Ryo-ohki: Meow! Meow! MEOW! MEOW! (Translation: “Stop! That! Right! This! Instant! You! Brat! Ow!”) |
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Mihoshi: Nope, I don’t think I’m doing it right… |
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Ryoko: Tenchiiiii… I guess he’s not here. *ponder* |
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Ryo-ohki: Mrow meoooooow! (Translation: “Those are my EAAAAAARS… Owie…”) |
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Tenchi: You doing alright, Mihoshi? |
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Mihoshi: What do YOU think? I mean, really now. |
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Ryoko: *fade* Here’s a bottle for you, kiddo. |
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Ryo-ohki: Mrow meow mrow. (Translation: “Freedom. Finally. Stupid brat.”) |
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Mihoshi: Ryoko, his diaper cover’s not on yet, and Tenchi told me to put it on. |
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Ryoko: Forget that. Let me go on a bit more about how much cuter Tenchi was as a baby. |
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Tenchi: Hmm, someone must’ve made some milk already. |
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Taro: Waaah! Waaah! |
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Ryoko: Shut up and drink, kid. |
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Tenchi: Ryoko, what are you doing? You know, the kid can’t drink straight powdered formula. Sheesh. |
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Aeka: *scrub* *scrub* |
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Mihoshi: Wow, I did it! Now he’s okay. |
Tenchi/Ryoko: *applause* | |
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Taro: *drip* |
Tenchi/Ryoko: Oh. | |
Aeka/Mihoshi: *scrub* *scrub* | |
Guardians: So much for the theory that our lives couldn’t get any more degrading. Air-drying baby garments, oh what joy. | |
*flying* *grabbing* *tasting* *crying* *sobbing* *competitive feeding* *laughing* *changing* *piddling* | |
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Tenchi: *soak* Hmm. Babies are such hard work… Hmm? |
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Mihoshi: Now it’s time to take a bath! |
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Taro: Gyah! |
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Mihoshi: Um, now, that won’t do you any good. I can’t breastfeed you. |
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Tenchi: … |
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Mihoshi: Now, stop that… oh my. Oh my… |
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Tenchi: *nosebleed* *faint* |
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Sasami: *fan* There there, Tenchi. You can’t help it if you’re a naughty boy, can you? |
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Tenchi: Thank you, Sasami. And no comment. |
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Mihoshi: Oh my, what do I do? |
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Ryoko: Diapers. Diapers. Diapers. |
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Aeka: Milk. Milk. Milk. |
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Mihoshi: Oh my, what do I do? |
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Ryoko: Diapers. Diapers. Diapers. |
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Aeka: Milk. Milk. Milk. *glug* |
Ryoko/Mihoshi/Aeka: *snore* | |
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Taro: Gyah! *crawl* *crawl* *knock* *knock* *tumble* |
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Washuu: *tap* *tap* Hello? Who’s there? WAAAH! What the…? |
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Taro: … |
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Washuu: Huh? *grab* *run* Oh, I see. Lazy butts. So, let’s make you up a batch of Red Crab Brand formula, kiddo. Um, what am I DOING? |
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Taro: Gah gyah! |
Ryoko/Mihoshi/Aeka: *snore* | |
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Tenchi: *yawn* Wha–? The baby’s gone! Where is he? Oh, Washuu! |
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Washuu: Wha–?!? I- I- I-… |
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Tenchi: You’re taking care of the baby! |
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Washuu: Yeah, um, the kid was annoying me. Don’t ask how that translates into hours and hours of caring, nurturing and cooking. |
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Ryoko: Good morning, Tenchi! How about a morning kiss! |
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Washuu: *thrust* |
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Ryoko: Oh. The kid. |
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Taro: Gah wah. |
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Ryoko: What do you want? |
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Washuu: Milk, of course. |
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Ryoko: *grab* How do you know? Here kid, eat up. |
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Washuu: *grab* Hey there, crazy girl. What are you trying to do, suffocate him? Here, let me give you a quick lesson in childcare. |
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Ryoko: *glare* Sorry, mom! |
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Washuu: I didn’t raise you to be a good-for-nothing. |
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Ryoko: You didn’t raise me at all. |
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Mihoshi: Um, duh, like, what are we doing here, taking care of a baby? |
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Washuu: Okay, I’m outta here. The average IQ in the kitchen just plummeted. |
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Mihoshi: Just leave the baby to me! |
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Washuu: *tap* *tap* *pause* *pout* *flop* *sigh* I just can’t work… I guess I can’t put off this darned character development any longer. *peek* |
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Taro: Gyah! *foosh* |
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Washuu: Those girls! Asleep again. |
*splash* *splash* | |
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Taro: *grab* |
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Washuu: Ow! Don’t pull, okay? |
*flashback* | |
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Taro: *frown* |
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Washuu: Huh? |
*float* | |
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Washuu: GYAAAAAA! |
*flush* | |
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Washuu: *scrub* Why do I always have to clean the flying sauna? |
*musical interlude* *much Washuu/Taro/Tenchi/Ryo-ohki cuteness* *flying Guardians* | |
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Tenchi: Well, Washuu, it looks like the baby’s yours now. |
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Washuu: I don’t have a choice. How about some insight into the mindset of a baby? |
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Tenchi: They’re so selfishly cute. Or is that cutely selfish? |
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Washuu: That’s all you can be, when you’re a baby. What? |
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Tenchi: *blush* Well, um… I figure I should get some character background into this episode. I lost my mother when I was very young. |
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Taro: Waaah! Waaah! |
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Tenchi: Um, I should be going now. Sorry I woke him! |
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Washuu: Tenchi? … Goodnight. |
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Tenchi: Goodnight, Washuu. (Whew.) |
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Taro: Ma… ma… mama! |
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Washuu: No, I’m not your mom. *hug* |
*ding dong* | |
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Tenchi: Um, Washuu? |
Ryoko/Mihoshi/Aeka: *yawn* *snore* | |
Auntie: Thank you for taking care of him. You did a great job for your age. | |
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Washuu: (syrupy sweet) Oh, well, there were SO many girls around, I didn’t have to take care of him ALONE… |
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Taro: Mama, mama! |
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Washuu: *blush* |
Auntie: Well, it’s time to go. Bye bye, and thanks again! | |
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Washuu: Yeah! He’s gone! |
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Tenchi: Washuu, you worked hardest of all of us. |
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Washuu: *flashback* Oh, babies! Tenchi, as if you couldn’t have guessed by now, I had a baby once. My husband was from a wealthy family, blah blah, they took the baby, blah blah, now I stay young looking ’cause I never want to be a bratty adult like them. There, is that enough sob-story for you? |
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Tenchi: Washuu, that’s so terrible! Is there anything I can do to help– *grab* Huh? *stare* |
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Washuu: Enough of this heavy backstory. How about a blatant come-on instead? |
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Tenchi: Um, Washuu? You’re not “little” anymore. What gives? |
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Washuu: Now now, Tenchi. Give us a kiss. |
*SMASH* | |
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Washuu: Ryoko, is that a nice thing to do to your mommy? |
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Ryoko: “Mommy,” my butt. Nice try. |
*toss* *splash* | |
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Aeka: Miss Washuu! How dare you? And you’re a married woman, keep your hands off of Tenchi! |
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Washuu: I had a husband. Had. 20,000 years ago. Let’s just say I’m pent up. |
*shove* *splash* | |
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Ryoko: I’m not done with you! |
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Aeka: Ryoko, how dare you! |
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Mihoshi: Stop it, both of you! |
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Washuu: Some people never grow up, do they Tenchi? *nudge* *nudge* |
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Sasami: *blank gaze* … |