The action gets cr-ay-zee this episode. Guard your daughters and lock up your livestock as Kagato Attacks!

	Tenchi: When did I become a carrot farmer? Oh yeah, when Ryo-ohki joined the household.
	Ryo-ohki: Meow meoow! (Translation: “Damn right, lowly human. Now get back to work. More carrots, damn you!”)
	Ryoko: Hey Aeka, come share a drink with me.
	Aeka: Oh, alright. We might as well have some sort of bonding moment now so our comradeship will make sense later on.
	Ryoko: And I can tell everyone about what Tenchi was like as a little boy. The girls in the audience will eat that stuff up like Ryo-ohki devours carrots.
	Aeka: You’re still an old monster, though. I’m so youthful by comparison, if comparing thousands to mere hundreds of years is a fair comparison.
	Ryoko: So much for the bonding moment. Waaaah!
	Mihoshi: May I barge in?
	Ryoko/Aeka: No.
*time passes*
	Mihoshi: …and I know now that it was destiny that dropped me into Tenchi’s arms that day!
	Ryoko/Aeka: …
	Sasami: Whoah, it reeks in here! Did you guys _swim_ in the sake or just drink a barrelful of it?
	Ryo-ohki: Mrow, meow! (Translation: “Heads up, playtime’s over!”)
	Kagato: I’ve found you, Ryoko. *zap!*
	Ryoko: Augh!
*flash* *crash*
	Mihoshi: According to the blinking light on my bracelet, we’re dealing with the criminal known as Kagato!
	Kagato: Thank you, Miss Exposition. Come, all, and bask in the glow of my evilness.
	Mihoshi: On behalf of the moon, I shall punish you! *bang* *bang*
	Kagato: Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! I mock your authority. Ha ha ha!
	Mihoshi: Mwah! *click* *click*
	Kagato: Let’s go to my place, the Souja. Ha ha ha! And “get to know” one another. Ha ha ha!
	Tenchi: Back off, scuzball.
	Kagato: Put the King’s sword away before you hurt yourself. Ha ha ha! Don’t you know if you do that too much you’ll go blind? Ha ha ha!
	Ryoko: Don’t give him the sword, Tenchi!
	Kagato: Well, well, what have we here? *zap*
	Ryoko: Urk!
	Kagato: Are you worthy of that sword?
	Tenchi: What kind of question is that?
	Kagato: I’ll repeat myself. Are you worthy of that sword? Let’s find out.
*zap* *clang* *whoosh* *splash* *thud*
	Kagato: You suck, kid. I’ll just take that sword now–
*flash*
	Grandfather: Are you playing with something that doesn’t belong to you?
	Kagato: I know you. Give me the secret of ultimate power!
	Grandfather: Bugger off.
*slice* *parry* *cut* *leap* *thrust* *slice* *jab*
	Kagato: Nice moves.
*zap* *zap* *zap*
	Grandfather: What a coward, using Ryoko as your shield.
*jump* *slice* *zap*
	Tenchi: Help Ryoko, Grandfather! Don’t hurt her!
*shield* *parry* *grab* *slice* *throw*
	Grandfather: Neener neener! I don’t have the sword now!
	Kagato: What are you, stupid? *grab* *ZAP!* OWWWW! Oh, the pain, the pain…
	Grandfather: Sucks to be you, paleface.
	Kagato: Fine. We’ll just take this battle elsewhere. And my dear puppet Ryoko is coming with me. *fade*
	Aeka: You’re my brother Yosho!
	Yosho: Well, duh. But since you insist, I’ll toss out some exposition about Juraiian dynastic succession. Happy now?
	Tenchi: So you’re Yosho, from the legend.
	Yosho: You’re almost as dense as she is. Yes, I’m Yosho, and that makes you Crown Prince of Jurai somehow. *shrug* Aeka, I didn’t realize you were hell-bent on marrying me. We still could if you like!
	Aeka: Feh! As if, old man! *kick*
	Yosho: Well, then marry Tenchi. He’s the right age and all that. Besides, you’re only cousins instead of half-siblings.
	Tenchi: Um. *blush*
	Aeka: Um. *blush*
	Mihoshi: This is so cute and touching and moving and stuff! Waaah!
	Ryo-ohki: Meow. (Translation: “Get a grip, bubblehead.”)
	Tenchi: Okay, I need to rescue Ryoko.
	Aeka: Does that mean we have to postpone the wedding?
	Yosho: The sword is yours, Tenchi. And you have a power as yet untapped. How I know this is anybody’s guess.
	Tenchi: Right. I understand. How I do so is anybody’s guess.
*grab* *zap* *whoosh*
	Tenchi: Okay. Now how do we go into space and rescue Ryoko?
	Ryo-ohki: Meow mrow meoow! (Translation: “How easily you forget, silly boy.”) *transform*
	Tenchi: Well, that’ll work.
	Kagato: Here they come, hell-bent on rescuing the defective Ryoko. Laughable.
	Ryoko: I resemble that remark.
	Kagato: Ha ha ha! I’d stay and mock you some more, Ryoko, but I’m going to go prepare a warm welcome for our guests. Ha ha ha!
	Ryoko: Kagato, if you hurt Tenchi I am SO VERY going to kick your ass from here to Jurai and back.
*zap* *pow* *boom!* *crash*
	Kagato: I built that ship, it can’t do anything that would surprise me.
	Mihoshi: Hmm, what does THIS do?
	Kagato: Wha–? I’m so surprised! It must be the boy’s sword.
	Mihoshi: *hiccup* Getting drunk with the computer unit seemed like the thing to do… *hiccup*
	Tenchi: Well, this sucks. How about I go to your part of the ship and attack?
	Aeka: Sure, why not?
*teleport*
	Aeka: Now open the Light Hawk Wings ™.
	Tenchi: The what?
	Aeka: The special Jurai plot device. You’ll be seeing a lot of them for a while. For now just know that it’s a shield we use on Jurai ships.
	Tenchi: Whatever! Just tell me what to do.
*Light Hawk Wings ™*
	Kagato: Oooo, pretty.
	Tenchi: AAAAAAAAA!
*megazap* *megablast* *megaboom*
	Kagato: Mwaahahahahahahaha!
	Aeka: Tenchi? Tenchi? Tenchi! Tenchi? Tenchi?
	Ryoko: Aaargh! *shatter* Tenchi? Tenchi? Tenchi! Tenchi? *sob* Kagato… prepare for an asskicking the likes of which God has never seen.