The third time may not be a charm, but it is the introduction of the world’s cutest anime critter. Join with me now as we say, Hello, Ryo-ohki!
Young Aeka: Hey half-brother and future husband, I made you a flower garland! And this flower is the color of your eyes, which I’m sure will be a plot point when I grow up. | |
Young Yosho: Um, great, thanks kid. | |
*evil laughter* *zap!* *boom!* | |
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Tenchi: Yosho? He’s toast. |
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Aeka: Well, that dream sucked. Being stuck on Earth sucks too. And Ryoko, she sucks the most. |
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Ryoko: A-fishing I will go, a-fishing I will go… |
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Sasami: Alright, Aeka, it’s time to get your sorry butt out of this room. Oh, the things I put up with! |
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Aeka: It’s a fine thing when my little sister is more responsible than I am, even if she is a manipulative brat. |
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Ryoko: Drat, you aren’t dead. |
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Sasami: Hey, whatcha got? |
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Ryoko: It just hatched this morning! It’s my baby, and Tenchi is the father! |
Aeka/Tenchi/Sasami: You said WHAT? | |
*crack* *pop!* | |
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Tenchi: Waaaaah! |
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Ryo-ohki: Mrow! (Translation: “Look, I’m a cat! I’m a rabbit! I’m a baby spaceship! That Pikachu ain’t got nothin’ on me. PH3@R MY CUTENESS!”) |
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Sasami: Ryoko, you had those two totally convinced. You rock! |
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Aeka: You’re all making fun of me! |
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Tenchi: I’m not, honest. |
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Aeka: Sez you. *slap* |
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Grandfather: What’s the matter, miss? |
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Aeka: Oh, nothing, just that your eyes are the same color as my beloved betrothed half-brother. I’m sure it’s a coincidence. |
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Sasami: Ryoko, why is the Ryo-ohki licking itself like that? |
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Ryoko: Because it can, of course. |
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Tenchi: You’re so mean, Ryoko. Oh, and I gave Aeka the sword back. |
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Ryoko: All my energy is in that sword, how could you! *swoon* |
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Grandfather: Here, allow me. *squeeze* |
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Tenchi: Grandpa! Sheesh, how embarassing. |
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Ryoko: How dare you grope me! I wanted Tenchi to grope me! |
*punch* *thwap* | |
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Grandfather: She’s got some spunk, Tenchi. Things are definitely picking up around here. |
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Ryoko: And you blocked my megapunch how, exactly? |
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Grandfather: Time for you to take your parental responsibilities seriously, Tenchi. |
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Tenchi: …the hell? Grandpa, you KNOW that Ryoko was joking, right? |
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Grandfather (to Sasami): Nice boy, but has all the playfulness of an oak tree. |
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Ryo-ohki: *hop* *hop* *tap* Mrowr. (Translation: “Stupid glass door.”) |
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Sasami: What’s up, Ryo-ohki? Oh, you see Aeka out there. |
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Ryo-ohki: *fade* |
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Sasami: Wait up! *bonk* Stupid glass door. |
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Aeka: Bwah! Annoying little, um… whatever you are. Go away, Ryo-ohki! |
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Ryo-ohki: Meow! (Translation: “Behold my cuteness! You cannot resist it!”) |
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Aeka: Well, I’m going to go away, and don’t you dare follow me. Really. I mean it. Honest. |
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Ryo-ohki: *hop* *hop* |
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Aeka: Oh no, it’s a Royal Teardrop flower just like in that flashback sequence. Boo hoo! |
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Ryo-ohki: *lick* Mrow. *nuzzle* |
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Aeka: Fine, fine, you’re cute. I give up. |
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Ryo-ohki: Meow. (Translation: “Damn right, lady. Don’t expect any more fancy flower deliveries, though.”) |
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Ryoko: A-snooping I will go, a-snooping I will go… where IS that sword anyway? |
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Tenchi: Ow! Grandfather, what’s the point of swinging at a block of wood dangling from a string while balancing on a series of stumps in the ground? |
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Grandfather: To remind you that you suck. |
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Aeka: What a coincidence that Tenchi’s sword training is just like that of the Jurai royal family! Waaah! |
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Tenchi: What was that noise? *bonk* Ow! Was that necessary, Grandfather? |
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Grandfather: You know it. |
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Tenchi: What a coincidence that Aeka’s blood is red just like human blood. Right. |
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Grandfather: I’ll just leave her in your care, Tenchi, before she can pester me with questions I don’t intend to answer yet. |
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Sasami: Ryoko, please make the rain stop. |
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Ryoko: Boy are you dense. Do you really think a backwater planet like Earth has weather control yet? |
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Sasami: Well, if you’re going to be THAT way about it, I’ll just let you know that the sword you’re so interested in is with Aeka. Neener. |
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Tenchi: Here, Aeka, you’ll be safe and warm in this shelter while I go outside and catch pneumonia. Chivalry sucks. |
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Aeka: Mwaaaah! |
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Tenchi: What happened? |
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Ryo-ohki: Meee-ow. (Translation: “I thought those were carrots. It was dark, I couldn’t see very well, okay?”) |
Aeka/Tenchi: Whoops! Hormone alert! Ahem! | |
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Tenchi: Well, now that we got past that awkward moment, I’ll clumsily try to cheer you up. How about you stay at my place for a while? |
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Ryo-ohki: Mrow meow. (Translation: “I found the real carrots. Gimme.”) |
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Aeka: Look, we found Funaho, my brother’s spaceship-tree! Let’s check out the surround-sound movie theater. |
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Tenchi: Look, it’s Ryoko! |
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Aeka: Look, it’s Yosho! |
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Tenchi: And that’s how the jewels got into the sword. |
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Aeka: And now I know my brother is alive. Here, you keep the sword for now. |
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Tenchi: You do know that I suck at swordfighting, right? |
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Sasami: Oh, there you are! Ryoko and I were looking for you, and Ryo-ohki met us halfway. He brought us here. |
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Ryo-ohki: Meow! (Translation: “He? Bite your tongue, space child.”) |
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Ryoko: Way to go, Tenchi! You got the sword back! |
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Aeka: I gave it to him, silly space pirate. |
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Tenchi: She really did. |
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Ryoko: Oh, I see how it is. Feh! *fade* |
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Aeka: Just let her go, Tenchi. |
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Tenchi: We both know what she’s like when she’s pissed. We should all be worried. |
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Aeka: Whatever. Come along, Tenchi! |
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Tenchi: … |
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Sasami: Tee hee! Way to go, sis! |