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Looking For Quacks In The Pavement

  • Genre Books Meme

    Via your average bear:

    Bold the ones you’ve read, strike-out the ones you hated, italicize those you started but never finished and put an asterisk beside the ones you loved.

    1. The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien
    2. The Foundation Trilogy, Isaac Asimov
    3. Dune, Frank Herbert
    4. Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert A. Heinlein (No, but I have read Time Enough For Love as well as Job.)
    5. A Wizard of Earthsea, Ursula K. Le Guin
    6. Neuromancer, William Gibson (I’m sorry, folks. As a card carrying techie I’m supposed to love this one, but I just couldn’t get into it. Gibson’s style annoyed me.)
    7. Childhood’s End, Arthur C. Clarke
    8. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Philip K. Dick
    9. The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley (I tried, Lil’. I really, really tried.)
    10. Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury
    11. The Book of the New Sun, Gene Wolfe
    12. A Canticle for Leibowitz, Walter M. Miller, Jr.
    13. The Caves of Steel, Isaac Asimov
    14. Children of the Atom, Wilmar Shiras
    15. Cities in Flight, James Blish
    16. The Colour of Magic, Terry Pratchett
    17. Dangerous Visions, edited by Harlan Ellison
    18. Deathbird Stories, Harlan Ellison
    19. The Demolished Man, Alfred Bester
    20. Dhalgren, Samuel R. Delany
    21. Dragonflight, Anne McCaffrey * (Pern books are my anti-drug. Well, at least up through Skies. After that, fuggeddaboutit.)
    22. Ender’s Game, Orson Scott Card
    23. The First Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever, Stephen R. Donaldson (Donaldson’s only enjoyable work is the Mordant’s Need set, and maybe the Gap series if you like really grim Sci-Fi.)
    24. The Forever War, Joe Haldeman
    25. Gateway, Frederik Pohl
    26. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, J.K. Rowling
    27. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams *
    28. I Am Legend, Richard Matheson
    29. Interview with the Vampire, Anne Rice (Oddly enough, I read Queen of the Damned first. Take pity on my soul.)
    30. The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. Le Guin
    31. Little, Big, John Crowley
    32. Lord of Light, Roger Zelazny (No, but I’ve read the Amber series. Ugh.)
    33. The Man in the High Castle, Philip K. Dick
    34. Mission of Gravity, Hal Clement
    35. More Than Human, Theodore Sturgeon
    36. The Rediscovery of Man, Cordwainer Smith
    37. On the Beach, Nevil Shute
    38. Rendezvous with Rama, Arthur C. Clarke *
    39. Ringworld, Larry Niven (It’s on my list.)
    40. Rogue Moon, Algis Budrys
    41. The Silmarillion, J.R.R. Tolkien (I own an old, old copy… thanks Dad!)
    42. Slaughterhouse-5, Kurt Vonnegut
    43. Snow Crash, Neal Stephenson
    44. Stand on Zanzibar, John Brunner
    45. The Stars My Destination, Alfred Bester
    46. Starship Troopers, Robert A. Heinlein
    47. Stormbringer, Michael Moorcock
    48. The Sword of Shannara, Terry Brooks (At least, I vaguely recall having started it once. Maybe I even finished it. Hmm.)
    49. Timescape, Gregory Benford
    50. To Your Scattered Bodies Go, Philip Jose Farmer

  • A Call To Brains

    I’d issue a call to arms, but I already have two of them. What I need is brains. Whyfor? Because I can’t figure out to what clever use I should put the concert ticket generator!

    So. C’mon, you big brains out there. Show us what you’re made of.

  • Not quite an oxymoron, but awfully close.

    One of the subject lines in my “probable spam” email folder advertised something called “Soft Viagra.” Sure, it’s not hard to figure out what they’re talking about, but did they really think things through before calling it that?

    Maybe I should go into the consulting business. “Hire me! I’ll give your new product a once-over before you go public, with an eye toward preventing glaringly obvious faux pas and double entendres! Stop being the laughingstock of intelligent people!”

    Hmm. I might be onto something.

  • Your Horoscope For 2007

    While I sit here, miserable but slightly better rested in my room at home, I have amused myself (between naps) by catching up on some of my websurfing. Here’s a delightful gem I found at James Randi’s place…

    “THE SKEPTIC’S HOROSCOPE for Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, and Sagittarius (Jan 1, 2007 ”“ Dec 31, 2007):

    “The coming year is likely to present challenges; these trials are when your true character will show. Trusted friends can provide assistance in particularly pressing situations. Make use of the skills you have to compensate for ones you lack. Your reputation in the future depends on your honesty and integrity this year. Monetary investments will prove risky; inform yourself as much as possible. On the positive side, your chances of winning the lottery have never been greater!”

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get some more tea and scrounge up some lunch…

  • So far, this isn’t an improvement.

    Meet the new year, much like the old year, in which an increasing percentage of my time is spent miserable.

    I’ve suffered a head cold for an entire week, with no sign of improvement. Now, thanks to the variety of medications I’ve taken in a (mostly) vain attempt to not feel quite so lousy, I itch. All over. It’s a mild itch, but it travels. You know that itch which, when scratched, immediately moves to a different, random point elsewhere on your body? Yeah, that’s the itch.

    So not only has my throat been sore (in the “ow, it hurts to swallow” sort of way) for an entire week, not only have I been coughing and sniffling all that time, but now I’m afraid to take anything for it because I don’t know what medication (or combinations thereof) gave me the allergic reaction. Outstanding. And since I’m such a trooper, I’ve shown up at work without fail each day during this ordeal. (I burned too many sick days in the last few months for my comfort, so of course now I’m even more miserable than I was when I took those days. Go figure.)

    As you might expect, what with the pain of swallowing waking me up all through the night coupled with an urge to itch one spot or another on my skin, I didn’t sleep well last night. It’s not like I get a whole lot of sleep normally, so this is just adding injury to insult.

    I suppose the good news is that I might be able to afford a new mattress soon. Of course, the last time I made plans of that nature I lost my job…

  • Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his grey duck.

    Happy 2007, everybody. I know, I sort of left things hanging around here for the last few days of 2006 but when you get right down to it, there wasn’t much to say. I don’t want to look back on that particular run of twelve months. Not that it was all bad. Some of it was quite good. However, long stretches of it were absolutely dreadful. So, good riddance.

    And now for something completely silly. At one of my favorite website stops I found an amusing new toy. I plugged in a specific (and perhaps unsurprising) sequence of letters and what follows are many of the results. Please note that I’ve taken a bit of liberty with the formatting, using the two separate words or my Internet nickname form depending on which amuses me more. (It’s all about my amusement, dammit.) Can you name the movies?

    • I know this sounds crazy, but ever since yesterday on the road, I’ve been seeing this grey duck.
    • Why don’t you come up sometime and see GreyDuck?
    • We’ll always have GreyDuck.
    • Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a grey duck.
    • You had me at ‘grey duck’.
    • I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old grey duck for dinner.
    • I always say a kiss on the hand might feel very good, but a grey duck lasts forever.
    • You can’t handle the grey duck!
    • Love means never having to say you’re GreyDuck.
    • We can’t stop here. This is grey duck country.
    • Gort! Klaatu barada GreyDuck!
    • It is too late, my grey duck is in your veins.
    • That grey duck is the pure, physical manifestation of Sadako’s hatred.
    • There is a grey duck coming. Are you sure you’re on the right side?
    • I am the author. You are the grey duck. I outrank you!
    • I feel the need – the need for GreyDuck!
    • Soylent Green is GreyDuck!
    • I love the smell of grey duck in the morning.
    • Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to grey duck.
    • I say we take off and nuke the entire grey duck from orbit.
    • If you build it, GreyDuck will come.
    • Hasta la vista, GreyDuck.
    • I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little grey duck, too!

    I love that last one! After all, I am “the little grey duck.” Ha!

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