Month: December 2004

  • The Elder Gods

    I’ll give The Eddings this much: “The Elder Gods” is an improvement over the disaster named “The Redemption of Althalus.” As you can imagine, though, I don’t think that’s saying very much.

    What does this new book get right? Oddly enough, one of the improvements is that it doesn’t try so hard to be clever. Oh, you’ll recognize almost all of the catchphrases from earlier Eddings characters, but we’re not smothered in smirking repartee to nearly the level that “Althalus” reaches.

    Another improvement is a step away from The Eddings Archetypes. That’s right, folks, there is no instantly-recognizable Polgara/Sephrenia-type character in the book! Now, I like Aunt Pol well enough, but seeing her casually reworked for each new story gets a bit tiring.

    The last bit of good in this new series is the occasional hint of potential conflict between real characters some time down the road. This isn’t to say these hints will pay off, but it’s nice to think that this series may grow some actual fangs… eventually.

    That brings us to the disappointing aspects of the book.

    What we have here is a slightly better story told not entirely unlike that of “Althalus.” The chief differences are that there are more characters, and there’s no time travel involved. Oh, and the enemy’s even easier to hate. In fact, that’s among my biggest problems with this book. The baddies? Bug-snake-men. A giant swarming hive of ‘em. That’s right, folks, The Eddings are picking on a nice safe target instead of taking the risk that there may be actual moral qualms on the part of our intrepid heroes. This is a disturbing trend I’ve seen among a lot of recent genre works, this unwillingness to make actual people the antagonists. The only crisis is “the nasties are invading, we must stop them.”

    Well, okay, there is a minor crisis of conscience late in the book… and it’s resolved within a chapter or so. Right. Remember when it took several books in the series for Garion to finally come to grips with his treatment of Asharak the Murgo? Yeah, there’s nothing like that here.

    There’s another annoyance that you might not ordinarily think of as such. You see, everyone gets along. Very well. Extraordinarily well. Does this sound familiar to anyone? A diverse group of clever, intelligent, and overwhelmingly reasonable people who may find one another occasionally amusing but they all have “grudging” mutual respect? Have we been down this road a few times already? But this time it’s even better, because there’s multiples of everyone! We have two clever young lads who’d rather be doing something else but are forced by circumstances to take a larger role in things. We have two reluctant, moderately gifted, loyalty-inspiring leaders-of-men who are thrust into a campaign alongside what are normally mortal enemies but are so damned reasonable that they think almost nothing of it. We have four godlings, and four “dreamers” (of which the Aphrael-clone is one).

    Okay, I take it back, what I said earlier about there not being a Polgara-type: Mother Sea (yes, the Earth and the Sea are characters, as is the Moon) comes off as very much cut from that mold. Ah, well. At least she doesn’t show up very often. That’s got to count for something, right?

    We only have one exceptionally talented archer with uncommon perceptive skills and a knack for politics, military campaigns and espionage, but one of him is more than enough.

    What really irks me about this book, I suppose, is one of the things that irked me about “Althalus.” (Yes, I’m sure you’re shocked and amazed.) While the characterization in “The Elder Gods” is a huge improvement, the characters don’t generally have any meaningful flaws. Everyone’s just so damned likeable, and for some reason that makes me want to not like the whole bunch of them that much more.

    Again we contrast to the earlier, vastly superior Belgariad. Silk’s mouth got him in actual trouble from time to time. Garion’s youthful indecision and impulsiveness got everyone into trouble on occasion. Hettar was a classic obsessive type and had to be reined in fairly regularly. Mandorallen could be both impossibly dense and rudely overbearing at times. These characteristics were smoothed away a bit over the course of the series, but at least they didn’t start out in a state of near-perfection.

    Speaking of contrasts, how about those bad guys? A maimed, unloved god? An apostate former friend and ally? Various characters of significant magical or political power whose alliances tended to shift back and forth as need dictated? All of that made for interesting conflicts. And none of that is in this book. “Kill those bug-snake-men,” that’s the whole of it. They even manage to turn a decent mid-book all-human naval confrontation into just another skirmish against the hive critters, by grafting a wholly-unsurprising new motivation onto the antagonists of the moment.

    I think it boils down to the fact that The Eddings, much like Anne McCaffrey has done, have reached a point where they can’t stand hurting any of their characters, nor can they stand having lead characters that somebody out there may dislike in some way for any reason at all. But mostly it’s about the not-hurting. The problem is, if your characters aren’t getting hurt, where’s the conflict that drives the story?

    My all-time favorite fantasy-ish series is Raymond E. Feist’s “Riftwar” books, and most of the books that come after. (And by “most” I mean “everything but those forgettable ‘Krondor the Whatever’ books. Oh well, nobody’s perfect.) One thing Mr. Feist has done that impresses me is that he’s actually become tougher on his characters as time goes by. The first book of the “Serpentwar” series startled me with how gritty and harsh the depictions of war became. People died all over the place. Those who survived were scarred in some fashion, and the meaningful scars were psychological.

    One doesn’t go into an Eddings novel expecting that sort of gritty realism, but it’s hard to invest oneself in a story that’s so bland as to barely impose itself upon your psyche.

    That’s not the worst of it, though. Oh, no. There’s one last thing that really annoyed me, and that’s the climax of the military campaign (such as it was). It’s spoileriffic, however, so you may just want to stop reading here. Really.

    I’m about to spoil a big part of the ending. You can, if you want, stop reading this entry right here and get the gist of how I feel about the book.

    Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

    See, it was starting to get interesting there towards the end. The good guys get outsmarted, and then outmaneuvered, and then ambushed. Hey, the bad guys are getting in a good beating, this is pretty cool! Action, drama! Wait, what’s that? The good guys are cut off, surrounded, and running out of oh-so-clever ideas? Well now, let’s see what kind of heroic sacrifice or effort will be involved in getting out of this mess—

    ZOT! BOOM! And one of the gods makes the whole damned problem go away.

    Wait wait wait WAIT! Are you kidding me? We gave up on the “ex machina” and went for pure “deus”? No muss, no fuss, nobody gets hurt? ARGH! This is almost as bad of a cheat as the time-travel ourobourus ending to “Althalus,” and that’s saying something.

    Okay, the spoilers are done. It’s safe to read below this point.

    Was I entertained by this book? Oh, sure. Was I disappointed? Yes, that too. Is it an improvement over the author’s previous work? Mostly. Should you rush out and buy a copy? Used, paperback, maybe. If you liked “Althalus,” you’ll totally dig this. If you think the Eddings’ material started going downhill during or after the first Sparhawk series, you should probably steer clear of this unless you’re a sucker for their style of clever banter. (In case you hadn’t already figured it out: Unfortunately, I am.) If you’ve never read an Eddings book… go grab the Belgariad books, which are far and away the best material bearing the author’s name.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to dive into the other book I picked up at Powell’s the other day…

  • Mixed Wrongness

    Thank (or blame) my old friend Ben for this one. It’s not my fault. Honest.

    The Shakespearean Insult Generator… as run through the Shizzolator.

    Warning: Not necessarily work- or kid-safe. Behave yourselves.

    Shizzolated Shakespeare

  • Just how I wanted to spend my Friday afternoon.

    The server damned near went down again, this time for the same reason as last: Someone out there thinks Mari’s site needs to be comment-spammed hard, fast and continuously. It’s not the spam itself that kills us, but rather the Perl threads and drive activity associated with the spamflooding.

    I’ve taken some steps. For instance, commenting no longer takes place in a separate comment window. (There’s a geeky reason for that I won’t go into. Security through obscurity, or some-such.) We’ll see how effective they are, and for how long.

    If this doesn’t work I’ll have to either turn off her comments or switch her to the comment script the rest of us are using. I’m averse to that solution mainly because she’ll lose all existing comments for good, and also because I don’t know if our comment system can survive a concerted attempt at spamming. I’m not in what you’d call a great big hurry to find out, you know?

    Argh. Spammers die. Grrr.

  • RIMM-job

    One of our local Corporate-level managers received a computer upgrade last month, and I was eagerly awaiting the chance to pick over her old workstation. See, we’d ordered it specially configured from Dell with DVD-ROM, CD-RW, and Zip 250 drives as well as various other geegaws.

    The first thing I did was spec out the CPU and other basics. After determining that with just a bit more RAM it could be a mightily useful Linux box or possibly a VPN server, I popped the case to drop in the new memory. Imagine my horror when what came out of the RAM slots weren’t the DIMMs I’m used to, but Rambus memory!

    I don’t happen to have any other machines, at work or at home, that use Rambus. I doubt my employers will fork over a few hundred for replacement sticks to put into a “retired” computer. The only good news in all of this is that 128 MB is probably good enough for a single-purpose server of some sort… but I’m still terribly disappointed. So much neat equipment, so little use for it all.

    Then again, I could always just shamelessly gut the thing for parts. It’s not like I’ve never done that before…

  • Short, sweet, pointed.

    Ginerva’s got it goin’ on:

    Martyrdom is not selflessness.

    Go read the entry, and especially follow that first link within. Excellent stuff in there.

    Aw, hell, I’ll just give the link here, too: Conversational Terrorism. Don’t let it happen to you… and don’t take part in it! (For the record? Yeah, I’m guilty of any number of things listed on that page. I’m working on that, though…)

  • Scolding, and Seat Martyrs

    I had jogged up to the intersection, but not in time to hit the crosswalk button. Not to worry, I thought, since a check in all four street directions (even though one of the streets is one-way, I still look) told me that there was only one vehicle at the intersection and it didn’t have it’s turn signal on. So I crossed with the green…

    …and almost got ran over. I have to curse my slow brain, because I’d finished crossing the street before I realized that I’d just been scolded! “Geez, it doesn’t say walk!” The lady in the white, toy-sized SUV (“It’s so small, you would almost think it’s fuel-efficient!”) had rolled down her window and turned into the lane in front of me so she could give me what-for about my street-crossing decision? What the ever-loving hell? So, what, I was supposed to wait another three minutes at an empty intersection for my chance to see the white stick figure instead of the red hand on the sign? Good grief, lady. Let me restate for the record that I was crossing with the light, and after checking for possible hazards!

    See, if I was the quick and clever sort, I’d have shouted back, “Whatever, MOM!” Grrrr. No turn signal and she turns into the far lane of the three available? And I’m the irresponsible one here?

    Anyway. Speaking of utter dorkwads, how about this frequently-seen specimen among the public transit set: The Seat Martyr. You know the guy. He’s the one who insists on standing, even when there are seats available. Now, I sometimes remain standing when I’ve only got a short trip, or if the available seat isn’t particularly appealing for one reason or another. But this morning I saw a guy standing in the raised portion of a low-floor MAX train when there were two available seats next to not-unappealing women. So this schmuck’s not only being stupid, but also an unneccessary obstruction since anyone who wants to get off the train has to go around him… no mean feat when he insists on acting as if he’s the only one on the train. Even when an entire two-seat bench opened up, he remained standing.

    Gah. I don’t know about you, but the only thing I can figure is that this guy likes feeling higher-up than everyone else. Or maybe I’m just reading things into his behaviour and body language. I don’t know.

    Ah well. Now I’m safely ensconced at work, where I don’t have to deal with that sort of thing. (Yeah, right…)