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Looking For Quacks In The Pavement

Month: May 2004

  • Bring out your dead (pool)!

    The recent migration of the Amish Tech Support Dead Pool (2004 edition) seems as good an excuse as any to list the picks I’d made last December for this year’s run. (Last year, for what it’s worth, I managed one measley death out of my entire roster. This proves, yet again, my complete lack of precognitive power.)

    So here are my 2004 picks, in alphabetical order:

    Astin, John
Brando, Marlon
Dawson, Richard
Falwell, Jerry
Garner, James
Gorbachev, Mikhail
Hefner, Hugh
Ioccoca, Lee
Kasem, Casey
Lee, Stan
McCullough, David
Palmer, Arnold
Stevens, Cat
Taylor, James
Thatcher, Margaret

    DISCLAIMER: Yes, yes, this is sick and wrong and reprehensible and God will probably punish me, yadda yadda yadda. He was going to do that anyway, so I doubt that my participation in the Dead Pool will matter that much in the final reckoning.

    Oh wait, I’m agnostic, so I don’t really believe in that crap anyway. Alright then, bring on the falling celebrities!

    ATS Dead Pool 2004

  • Oh deer.

    Found via Jack Bog’s Blog, this gem:

    “Deer, to some, are nice and pretty and such, but to me they’re nothing more than long-legged rodents with good PR. In that regard, they’re not that different from Kate Moss.”

    If you really want a good laugh, go read the complete original post…

  • Little favors for the ex-missus.

    As part of my overall push to become the premier hostmaster for Monaural Jerk-based blogs, I finally managed to upgrade Wendi’s site today. The only hitch in the process was on account of a category name change at some point in the history of her site. The rest was fairly straightforward, and the results are rather spiffy if I do say so myself.

    Ball and Chain

  • The high cost of being Me.

    I am, generally speaking, a nice guy. Sensitive, thoughtful, funny, that sort of thing. All in all I’m one of the most harmless folks you’ll ever meet.

    Except, of course, when my brain goes into its occasional fits of thoughtlessness and I bust out with some utterly stupid act that costs me dearly. Usually the cost is measured in lost respect or lost opportunity or even just lost money… but every so often I pull something boneheaded enough to cost me a relationship.

    I did just that yesterday. I’ve lost Heather as a friend.

    Sorry, but I’m not going to go into details other than to say nobody was physically harmed and that it involved a breach of trust.

    So, this makes two important relationships I’ve managed to scuttle in as many years. Springtime, even. I’ve got a great idea: How about I not go for three in a row?

    Yeah, I know. I don’t hold out a lot of hope for me, either.

  • Custom-made Hell

    I think the interface to this little widget is more interesting than the results, actually. But here you go, since Mari and Lilith both did it, I did it too…

    Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies, General asshats
    Circle I Limbo

    Militant Vegans
    Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

    Proselytizers
    Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

    Spammers
    Circle IV Rolling Weights

    Scientologists
    Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

    River Styx

    Virus hackers
    Circle VI Buried for Eternity

    River Phlegyas

    Religious zealots
    Circle VII Burning Sands

    Hatemongers, Rapists, Child Molesters
    Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

    George W Bush, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden
    Circle IX Frozen in Ice

    Design your own hell

  • So it’s not exactly PURE evil.

    This site is certified 41% EVIL by the Gematriculator

    I scored higher (as it were) than Lil’s blog, and in fact higher than most anyone else I know of so far. C’mon, see if you can beat me (as it were).

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